Okay I can't sit here staring at the blank screen any longer. I've got to go teach my class this morning and if feels like the beginning of the end because the floodgates of employment have opened and it looks like my dance card is going to be full, full, full. Not that I'm complaining. Yet.
So in light of the fact that nothing noteworthy has occurred, I'll tell you a little embarrassing story from my past.
The whole family was enjoying a beautiful week of houseboating on lake Powell in Utah. This is probably a good 15 - 20 years ago, and I was in my "sun worshipping" mode as we motored down the lake. Up on top of the houseboat with my headphones on, I was laying out soaking up the glorious rays. My eyes were closed and I was who knows where in my daydream when something snapped me to the moment faster than a smelly fart. Someone pinched the head of my penis. I opened my eyes to see my aunt bent before me, the head of my penis clutched between her fingers as tears of laughter streamed down her face. My female cousins were howling behind her. I couldn't hear them because of the headphones, but apparently my junk was hanging out of my bathing suit for quite some time before they played their little trick.
I'm turning red again just recounting it.
lololololololololol !!!!
ReplyDeleteMéchante matante !!
Great to hear you'll be dancing a lot at the ball! Kudo's.
ReplyDeleteI guess your aunt was not the shy type.
The proper thing to do would have been to throw a towel over you. To have a guy to throw a towel over you. I'm so modest I'm turning red for you.
ReplyDeleteOMG! That experience would rank up there with some of life's most embarrassing moments. I'm blushing and it's not even my experience!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but that's just wrong.
ReplyDeleteThat's not just embarrassing, that's quite wrong. Icky even.
ReplyDeleteHugs....
So many questions!
ReplyDeleteWas it flaccid or erect?
What kind of bathing suit were you wearing that your penis was hanging out?
To have an aunt fondle you and to have others watch and laugh is just sick.
ReplyDeleteI don't think my aunt likes me that much to do the same thing.
ReplyDeleteway to funny, just wrong, but way too funny
ReplyDeleteGood lord, your aunt is a feisty one! I have to say I would never have the guts to do that but it's really damn funny nonetheless. Penises, especially flaccid ones, are a bit humorous in any case, really.
ReplyDeleteShow me on the doll where your aunt touched you, Torn.
ReplyDeleteThat's a horrifying story, TW. I'm a little more fearful a person having read it.
ReplyDeleteI was just reading below: gay guys get their own strip bars? And you get to see the junk?
ReplyDeleteWhat gives? All we straights get is a chick in a thong.
there's something equally wrong with me that i wondered if "it" got sunburned.
ReplyDeleteyour aunt should've just covered you up and been a whole lot more discreet. i'm pretty sure this is a grudge i'd hold on to for life.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "peek-a-boo" doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you say to someone that does that?
ReplyDeleteI think I would have jumped off the boat.
People probably think that Speedo swimsuits are "too revealing" but at least the elastic keeps your junk in. Boxer-style swimsuits can have large leg openings, allowing the 'horse' to go 'wandering outside the barn'!
ReplyDeleteFunny, funny story!
Please? You? Embarassed? Well, I guess by a female and the fact that it was a family member. I love that! I'll bet your aunt is still talking about it too....
ReplyDeleteYour Aunt??!! I'm an Aunt myself and couldn't imagine doing that. I'd find someone with XY chromosomes to tell you or cover you with a towel.
ReplyDeleteBe glad your "junk" is capable of falling out. Auntie Molester? Kind of a perv.
ReplyDeleteYeah I have more "creeped out" vibes than "oh that was funny!" vibes goin on.
ReplyDeleteYour aunt should be embarrased, not you.
Auntie grabbed your willie!!?
ReplyDeleteAnd did "it" get sunburn? That would be my concern. Perhaps that's what Auntie was thinking of.
I mean, a healthy little outing is nice, but you want to protect your little friend with lots of lotion and sun blocker. They even make little "hats" for them. They're usually clear though, so they don't keep the rays out very well.
LMAO @ Gayprof!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd you Torn. I'm LMAO at you and your wild Aunt!
oh my god that is sooooooo funny...
ReplyDeleteOmG...I had the same, sorta, embarrassing situation. It, however, involved a boob, a bathing suit, the cute guy I LOVEd, his family and water skiing. I was out waterskiing, took a bit fall. Came into the boat all scattered. Sat there for a good 5-10 minutes with people glancing down, and giggling. When the guy I LOVED, said, "Uh, Jenn...boob check!" His family still talks about that every time they see me. So embarrassing.
ReplyDelete