A big reason that I can't really work for the man anymore is that I'm unable to filter information. And by filter information, I mean lie and be fake about things. (If you approach me and ask me if I can keep a secret, I will tell you, "No.") Well, can't isn't really the right word, because I can, that has been proven, but it so deeply bruises my soul (for lack of a better word) that I refuse to play that game any longer.
Being a contract worker where I decide which classes to teach, I'm pretty well insulated from the politics of the corporate milieux and exempt from the hellishness of sales and marketing.
Still, the sticky fingers of the white collar environment somtimes catch me, why just last week, I was reprimanded for having spoken about confidential information. What was that information? That a student dropped my class. Why was that confidential? Because it was the HR Director who had dropped the class. (wouldn't want my bad example to be known by the other employees, better try to muzzle the teacher.)
People I'm super wary of: Salesmen of any kind, Human Resources (anyone in the department), Politicians, lawyers, and even closeted people living double lives.
These kinds of jobs/situations require the candidate to lie about things depending on the audience.
I don't do that. And it's nothing about loyalty or integrity, it's just too stressful. So I won't ever make "the big bucks" because I can't "grow up" and reconcile with the man.
And that's just fine with me.
If someone confides in me, I will tell no one what they've said, but I refuse to keep secrets that involve me. I had a fling with a married man once and I certainly told my friends about it - not his wife because that just seemed irrelevant and pointlessly cruel - but I won't keep my life secret. On the other hand, I have quite a few friends who have cheated on his/her spouse, and I would never say a word to others.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you a much better person to live with the honesty that you do.
ReplyDeleteAfter selling $1200 cellphones, I will never get into sales again. I felt my soul drain like a 16-yearold girl's motorola battery!
Oh, and Snooze, we appreciate that you don't bust us.
ReplyDeleteOh crap! I just did it, didn't I????
:)
I hear ya on the whole closeted gay thing. I've had far to many "friends" toss me to the lions when it looked like they might be known as gay. Now I just kick them in the balls and say have a nice day. I feel better and they get some well deserved "action". It's all good.
ReplyDeletekb
I'm in agreement about the closeted gay and Sales People thing. Though they may have their reasons, they simply make me uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteahem. as a lawyer I resemble that remark! wait. I mean, technically speaking, lawyer's are officers of the court and therefore cannot lie. I'm just sayin'
ReplyDeleteYeah, what's so bad about lawyers? They don't lie, they just present things very carefully. But I feel like you are avoiding HNT. I think your aversion to "the big bucks" shows exactly that you DON'T need to "grow up" anymore. I think it's admirable.
ReplyDeleteBut you just posted a lie 2 posts below =P
ReplyDeleteI'm here regardless what you post. Truth or lies.
ReplyDeleteHNT would just be frosting on the cake.
But it's nice to meet someone with a sense of integrity and sincerity that doesn't want something in return.
Double-life closeted people suck.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I never really understood what people learn when the go to college and major in Business. I hear somewhere along the line they have to take an ethics course, but it doesn’t seem to be particularly rigorous based on their later lives. I do, though, trust most people who major in Accounting. They seem to be fairly direct folk.
And that, dear Tornwordo, is the definition of taking the high road. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about closeted people leading secretive lives that sits so uneasily with me. I actually get mad when I see these idiots online while their wives are wherever.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100% about lying being far too stressful a way to live. I hardly ever lie directly, but I am frighteningly accomplished at not seeing and/or knowing some things.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it can be harder to be honest with yourself than it is to be honest with other people. Sometimes it's the other way 'round, of course.
ink.
P.S. I'm still curious how you find out what searches people have used to get to your blog. Anyone out there able to explain?
well that leaves you with integrity, which is a good thing.
ReplyDeletebut hnt is hot...so don't stop!
One BIG reason I left Corporate America, and even the city. Playing the game turns the player into a whore, inevitably(not to trash all the honest sex entertainment workers out there). I have no more involvement than I have to have.
ReplyDeleteIntegrity is not jaded by experience, it is tempered into something far sterner, compassionate wisdom.
D
Does no one love us poor misunderstood lawyers ... of course not! And its because we're not misunderstood at all...:)
ReplyDeleteI like watching people's faces when I tell them the blatant truth in a situation where I'm expected to lie.
ReplyDelete"Why didn't you go to that party?"
"I didn't feel like leaving the house when I got home."
I cant work for de man either!
ReplyDeleteCOme back to HNT we need more half nekkid men like you!
Integrity is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteCourse, so is HNT...
I'm just sayin...
I'm not sure what HNT has to do with integrity and not telling a lie, but I do think that if you took it to the appropriate nakedness level you could probably get rid of that pesky little job you're not liking.
ReplyDeleteI wonder, Torn, if we would be friends in "real" life? All that honesty might get ugly. ("Does this make my ass look flat?" "Yes Chunks, it does." "Well fuck you." haha!) I like this about you, that you know yourself well enough to know what bruises your soul.
ReplyDeleteAnd people wonder why I stare off into space when they tell me stuff. "I'm not listening lalalaaa." because I, too, cannot keep a secret.
ReplyDeleteI've had many folks say to me "Why did you tell so and so about what I said last week?!" "Uhm, I dunno, was it a secret?"
I'm a social nightmare. But they will gossip with me, so really it's their folly.
You just keep on being honest, but I'd think the telling that a student dropped your class, apart from their obvious absence to attest to the fact *duh*, but it's probably a violation of data protection and the school could get sued or something if the student thought you were...gossiping or slandering or whatever.
I've had to learn to be forceful and say "I can't say, don't ask me, go ask them yourself you big puss!" and that's why I have no frens. (My codeword was "FPAWW" which I will try and use in a sentence at least three times today and see if anyone notices.)
i love that you strive to be authentic. it's one of the best things about you. and that list is already long.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post - I wanted to comment, but as I told Dickey (and indicated on my site) it was just too bloody long. So I posted about it.
ReplyDeleteNormally, I just change the names of places and people: Carbucks, NicDonalds, George Kush, Jeebus, etc.
ReplyDeleteNobody can ever figure out what I'm talking about.