This is one of the days I should skip blogging. Unfortunately, my sense of duty (cursed thing that is, I'd do so well as Japanese) has me sitting here staring at the screen for 20 minutes before I write the first sentence. I knew I was going to have extra time this morning when my first class of the day was rescheduled. "You'll think of something to write about in the morning," I told myself. That was Rob, the lazy voice that lives in my head. He heads up the procrastination department and sits on many committees, including the "Doing things Mickey Mouse Roundtable" and the "Easy Shortcuts Way". I hate Rob this morning. I loved him yesterday when he was promising good and easy things forthcoming for the blog this morning, but now I'd like to shoot him. Rob is often at odds with my sense of duty (led by Carl, by the way) but after about the age of 25, Carl was promoted, and Rob has forever since been a subordinate.
I bet you'd like to shoot Rob too now. Or perhaps it's Carl that you'd like to see demoted. No wait, don't answer that.
All day today, Carl will be reminding me about the fact that I have to leave at 6am tomorrow, so what am I going to write about. Carl will not be helpful in the idea generating department, he'll just sit there harping and nagging me until I've roughed out an idea on paper. Sheesh, now I want to shoot Carl. Oh wait, Rob is tugging on my sleeve. What's that? He says I can skip a day if I want to. Uh-oh, Carl just sent him to his room. So have a nice day and I'll see y'all tomorrow.
This is a brilliant post about nothing! I love it! Wish I had written it... :)
ReplyDeleteRemember Torn, the greatest show ever on TV was Seinfeld, a show about nothing.
ReplyDeleteRob sounds like my kind of guy is he Gay? Is he seeing anyone? Tell Carl to lighten up. Great post Torn. Made me smile which ain't easy.
Um, next time you are looking for a book try "Set this house in order" by Matt Ruff. You guys think alike (much to the amusement of the rest of us).
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear about the after-hours office encounter between Rob and Carl. Especially as Carl sends Rob to his room.
ReplyDeleteI have Rob and Carl in my head too, but I think they go by different names--id and superego. Either way, they can be a royal pain.
ReplyDeleteDamn that feeble brain of yours. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYour brain is working overtime! When all else fails, tell a poop story.
ReplyDeleteYou can always write about poo. A really good poo story is always popular with this crowd.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am including myself in that reference....
LOL @ don's comment.
ReplyDeleteI sense multiple personalities in the head of yours, sibyl. Sounds like a party.
What a coincidence! Rob and Carl just called to say they're on their way over here.
ReplyDeleteMy Duty Chief is named Cotton, and he's usually dressed like a Puritan. Running my Procrastination deparment is Daryl, and we're lucky if we can get him into a pair of pants. Generally speaking Brick, the administrative assistant, is the one who actually gets anything done. He's off now to do laundry. Bless good old Brick.
ReplyDeleteAnd just for the record, I appreciated Carl's, Rob's, and your efforts this morning.
wow, you've named your procrastinating and dutiful sides. i might borrow this, how sweet to have someone (other than me) to blame stuff on.
ReplyDeleteI think my version of Carl resigned a couple of weeks ago. Ever since then, Rob has been calling in late and making up terrible excuses.
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh. Maybe you should let Rob out more often. You could serialize his efforts weekly.
ReplyDeleteSo creative!
ReplyDeleteAs good as you are about keeping a list of items for Friday snippets, I'm surprised you don't keep a list of 'back-up' topics to blog about when nothing timely is happening.
Mark
hehehehe, who else lives in there with Carl and Rob?
ReplyDeleteHUGS...
That sounds like a real Gemini conversation!
ReplyDeleteAs a Gemini, I have multiple personalities. But their names keep changing. And so do their tasks.
I bet Carl and Rob are lovers. Also, unlike the man whose head they live in, they love anal sex, and, interestingly, Rob is the top. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou know, down in the Emergency Room where my husband works he says they give tablets to people who have these types of conversation. Not that I'm implying in anyway that you are in the same category as these people. I'm just making an observation. hehehe :)
ReplyDeleteI love that the voices in your head are actually real. It makes me feel sooooo much better about Jacques, Alain, Jeff, Christopher, Jonathan, Frank, Mikey, José, Mohammad, Zack, Marc, Bob, Charles, David, Bam-Bam, Edward, Henry, Laurence, The Count, and Lisa.
ReplyDelete(Yep, it's a might crowded up there.)
are you a gemini?
ReplyDeleteI think Rob's the same hung stud that sits around naked tempting guys to come by and tease you... glad I heard about it!
ReplyDelete-C
This made my day. What fun you made out of procrastinating!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm back and I've decided that all of you need to read "Set this house in order" (Matt Ruff). Online book discussion anyone?
ReplyDeleteI've read enough pop psychiatry to know that all you need to do is develop another personality to keep both Rob and Carl in shape.
ReplyDeleteEt bon hiver!
Today it was 55 degrees in Virginia... ;-)
Today’s blog is brought to by Multi-personality tornwordo!
ReplyDeleteStay tuned for tomorrow’s installment where an emerging personality causes friction between Rob and Carl.
Astonishingly good post, even for the great Tornwordo!
ReplyDeleteI like this Rob fella and I hope I hear more about him.
I just read your last 4 or 5 posts. Damn, I've missed a lot.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but I love that picture out your office window. It's so wintery and clean.
Love that new word you coined, "Imaginightmare."
Inspirations like that are what make the blogosphere go!
Your middle name wouldn't be Sybil, would it?
ReplyDelete