The wrong kind of air freshener

I had classes yesterday at the sleek and shiny financial building in downtown, where the stock exchange is. I stopped in the bathroom for a quick piss and facecheck and remarked the lovely smell while I was peeing. It was so familiar and yummy that smell, ah yes Fruit Loops. The bathroom was equipped with one of those mister things that sprays a pleasant odor every couple of minutes. Pissing away, I remembered my incredible infatuation with Fruit Loops as a child, never permitted to have it since the parents decided it was too "sugary". I thought how cool it would be if they had a cologne with this scent and even more apropos if it were marketed to homos. "Bring out your inner fruit with new Fruit Loop cologne." But I lamely digress.

After class and a jumbo coffee, I again stopped into the elegant bathroom with cloth towels and wood paneling on the walls. What assaulted me as I entered is difficult to describe. That fruit loop smell was mixed with something else. Slightly nutty and pungent but not in a wholly disagreable way, well not until my brain lit upon the idea that it was shit that was the mixed in smell. Ok, this is wrong and something I hadn't anticipated. Fruit Loops is not an overpowering aroma, it is sweet yet gentle like honey. Ain't no way honey is gonna cover up no shit smell - you hear what I'm sayin'? So why are they using it, they've just ruined a perfectly good smell memory for me, and now every time I smell it, I'm going to think about the Fruit and Shit Loops smell.

Christ I'm forty and I'm still amused by bodily functions. Will I ever grow up?