All chirps and smiles as I am led to the
All affable-like the dentist beams, "How are you Torn, any troubles? No? That's good, we're just going to take a couple pictures and then my assistant Ms. Ratchet will have a go at that tartar."
Then he leaves the room.
"Oh my but you are a bleeder", nurse Ratchet tells me as she is sawing away bits of my gums. "You need to keep up on your flossing. Here, pay attention now," and she holds up a mirror to my bloody toothed visage and demonstrates. Harshly. I'm doing my best not to wince, but little tears spring from my eyes nonetheless. Fucker!
I tell you what, my gums are going to be so fucking firm this time, you could cut them out and use them for sneaker soles.
God I hate it when they go at the tartar! AT 38 I have no cavities BUT they have a hell of the time with me in the chair going after tartar....
ReplyDeleteNow that you reminded me it's that time of year....damn
I just got all that taken care of last month. I detest a good flossing. YUCK!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it. I should make an appointment myself. Damn.
ReplyDeleteSounds like me. Having not grown up with flossing, it's tough to establish that habit as an adult.
ReplyDeleteJane
I've actually "kinda" started flossing for the first time really ever...it's not a 100% daily commitment yet, but it's progress!
ReplyDeleteI could make a comment about the Canadian health care system, but, frankly, my dentist isn't much better..... :P
ReplyDeleteI have to have IV sedation when I go to the dentist, thanks to a panic attack I had in a chair once. My dentist is a really nice guy, but I hate the fucker.
ReplyDeleteI floss as much as I can.
I feel pukey now. Blah.
Ugh. I've been putting off my annual dentist appointment for almost 2 years now. I'm scared!
ReplyDeletelol
Annual? I am getting ripped off. They schedule me every 4 months for a cleaning and I floss! Rip off artists.
ReplyDeleteLast time I went to the dentist for a cleaning, she flossed so hard she told me, "You're bleeding like a slaughtered pig."
ReplyDeleteDid I mention my dentist is also my sister?
No HNT butt pics today? :(
ReplyDeleteI know this will further brand me a nutjob, but I actually enjoy going to the dentist. And I sometimes fall asleep while they are cleaning my teeth.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago I embraced a saying I saw at my dentist's office:
ReplyDeleteFloss only the teeth you want to keep.
Every day for the last ten years.
I love the clean teeth, hate the flossing and that mean little pick they use to get the tartar off.
ReplyDeleteI bought one of those vibrating flosser thingies... totally unnecessary, but it gets me to floss.
Hey, that could be a birthday present!
My old dentist gave me this advice: after you floss, rinse with a mixture of water and 3% hydrogen peroxide (about 50/50 each).
ReplyDeleteI am shocked – SHOCKED! – by all the non-flossers around. Did we learn nothing from Timmy Tooth? Flossing is the key to maintaining your teeth. Remember, brushing only removes crap from 1/2 of your tooth surface. Plus, flossing makes your mouth feel better.
ReplyDeleteThat just sounds brutal. Somehow it makes me think of the movie Brazil with all the torturers having happy faces.
ReplyDeletethey have a pick like thing that works almost as well as flossing for those lazy people (like me) who find it difficult to floss daily.
ReplyDeleteI floss every day :-) A hint, take ibuprofen before you go to the dentist, it'll lessen the pain somewhat.
ReplyDeleteI can't resist this. I know I'm a comment whore, but I just love a guy with good firm gums.
ReplyDeleteI go to the dentist every 4 months, since my benefits cover it. They can always tell if I've been a good flosser or not. Sometimes I am, sometimes not so much.
ReplyDeleteThey are also kind enough to provide a CD player and headphones, along with a list of albums to choose from. The last time I had a cavity filled, I chose to listen to Bjork's Homogenic album. The sounds of the drills, power saws, sanders and other powertools they had in my mouth disappeared and became part of whatever song I was listening to. It was all strangely fitting.
Pick up some Eez-Thru by G.U.M.
ReplyDeleteIt makes flossing so easy. And check ups at the dentist so much easier!
My dentist gave me one of those flossers with a handle like a toothbrush. I've used it every day since I got it. It's quick, it's painless, and kinda fun. I also use Colgate Total. I credit that for my last visit going so smoothly.
ReplyDeleteUnlike most people, I'm a floss addict. In fact, my last dentist said I was brushing "too much" as my teeth were wearing down. I have not seen the dentist in 2 years due to a job change. I need to make an appt. with a new one. I wonder what they will say....it's been awhile. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWho knew that a post about flossing could generate so many comments? And here I am, joining in, like the lemming that I am....Happy bleeding gums!! I am a pre-dentist flosser just like you! And I often regret it, just like you!
ReplyDeleteDevo
the common pain for us all: dentists!! Hate them too, but I have to go... at least once in 8 years!! LOL
ReplyDeletei don't know why i hate flossing as much as i do. but i do. hate it. with a passion.
ReplyDelete