Spousal snippets

1. Serge is 40 today. That means he has spent a third of his entire life with me.

2. He can sleep anywhere, anytime. He can sleep the entire night in a chair.

3. He never follows recipes and therefore he never makes the same thing twice.

4. He equates price with quality.

5. Serge is a handyman kind of guy. He's not afraid to destroy a wall, take apart a radio, install an electrical outlet.

6. He is gruff with a soft center.

7. Sarcasm is his main form of defense.

8. He still turns me on after over 13 years.

9. He knows how to lean on me, and I him.

10. He is cleaner than I am. I am grateful for that.

11. When he received his first publisher's clearing house sweepstakes entry, he believed the million dollar check was real. It took hours to convince him otherwise. You could taste his crestfallenness.

12. He is an easy target for salesmen. He is forbidden to speak to telemarketers.

13. He is a beer drinker.

14. When he gains weight, it all goes to his belly. I like to rub the buddha belly.

15. If I want him to do something, all I have to do is start doing it myself. Then he will come over and inform me of how I'm doing it wrong and take over. Works every single time. (Why has it taken me so long to learn how to load the dishwasher? tee hee except now I'm busted)

16. If you give Serge a compliment, he will invariably respond, "I know".

17. He loves doing laundry. Apparently he dislikes folding the clothes or maybe I do that one thing "right".

18. When we first met, he would cry out, "Hostie que t'es beau." I wouldn't know that it meant, "Damn, you're beautiful," for another 7 years. Now, when I mention it, he flinches.

19. He can't grow facial hair, for there are patches of skin where hair refuses to grow.

20. He is still with me even after the "ball" incident.

21. He has the perfect hands.

22. He tolerates my flaws, of which I have many.

23. He will slug you and make you angry if you attempt to tickle his ribs, poke him in the ribs or even grab him there. Seriously. Don't do it.

24. He doesn't like sauce much. And refried beans? Forget it. Doesn't care for dressing, and I think he doesn't really like anything wet on his food. He adores soup though.

25. He eats his eggs sunny side up.

26. He works full time for a magazine doing layouts and managing their website.

27. He takes a nap every night after dinner when we stay in.

28. We make a good team for real estate purchasing, we would have never done this if we had been on our own.

29. Serge speaks English though he has had little formal training. He lived 7 years in California which forced him to learn.

30. He is a smoker, always planning to quit in the "near future". Rarely does it arrive. (But I love you honey.)

31. Beer and discretion don't always add up with Serge.

32. He loves it if I do something unexpected in the cleaning department. Like changing the bed sheets.

33. He likes to be romanced.

34. He sleeps on the right side of the bed.

35. At night, he sometimes gets the jimmy legs or scrapes his toes along the edge of the bed. It's kind of cute. Sometimes.

36. He knows computers so I don't have to so much.

37. He married me.

38. He does a mean chicken dance.

39. Our pet name for each other is Bébé and we often say "Tu pus!" (you stink) to each other.

40. He completes me. (Okay, that was a little barfy.)