Monday, June 22, 2009

Cruise nuggets

* I noticed something new on the cruise this year. They had added a tissue dispenser to all the walls adjacent to the doors exiting the public restrooms. At first I thought it was for drying the hands of those who don't like the hot air blowing machines, but they were so thin and kleenex-like that you had to pull a dozen tissues to dry your hands adequately. Then I used a bathroom that had two exit doors because of a little vestibule and noticed that there was a dispenser next to both doors. Then it dawned on me - they were for protecting your hands from germs on the door handles. It's a swine flu world after all. (Sing it with me now.)

* In the Bahamas, we were offered the possibility of procuring drugs by the locals. It was very surreptitious the way you'd hear a little "pot, coke" whispered as you walked down the street. In my younger days, I'd have been all over that but now I don't even turn my head. Anyway, one is more likely to be sold oregano and baking soda in such situations.

* In the dining room in the evening there is a little song and dance that all the service staff must perform. It's pretty cheesy Macarena kind of stuff. There was something new this year though. They all performed the final dance scene from Slumdog Millionaire. Despite my disdain for such gooberdom, it was pretty neat. (Weird, blogger is indicating that gooberdom is indeed a correctly spelled word. I thought I had just made it up.)

* When we were in Atlantis, we spent a couple of hours at the water park playing in the river, wave pool and water slides. I wonder how the hotel guests feel about the cruise ship patrons invading their paradise. It really is a resort for the elite. The last ride we went on was a huge drop down into a shark infested pool. (You are in a clear tube so the sharks can't eat you.) It was really hot and we had waited about 20 minutes already in line when two teenage males appeared and joined the two girls waiting in front of us. The boys were wet and dripping from having just been in the pool. Serge and I were dripping from the tropical heat and standing in the sun. I said, "Why are you cutting in line?" One of the girls said, "I'm saving their place." I then looked at the kid and said, "Dude, that is not cool. Not cool at all." He then offered to let us go ahead of them and I took him up on that. In my younger days, I'd have said nothing. Now I will tell the teens what's what.

* As I mentioned the other day, I requested a Friends of Dorothy meet-n-greet from the cruise director. The first was scheduled in the piano bar. Serge was coming late because he had an appointment to get his teeth whitened so I had to go alone at the scheduled time. Ugh. When I arrived at the piano bar, I noticed two Carnival employees sitting at one of the tables and I identified them as dancers from the shows. So I walked up and sat down with them and said, "Hi guys how are you doing?" I tend to be bolder on vacation since I figure I'll never see these people again, but the boys seemed a little apprehensive about my having joined them. I said, "Are you guys here for the friends of dorothy meeting?" They answered rather coolly, "Uh, no, we didn't even know about that." Crappity crap crap crap. I'm sure I reddened then, but I was already sitting there so I asked if they were dancers, how long they had been aboard, where they were from, you know - small talk. After a couple minutes, they excused themselves saying they had to go. They were definitely friends of dorothy, but pretty aloof and snobby. I don't know why we boys are like that sometimes. Shortly after that a pair of guys came in and sat at another table. I got up, went over and sat down and introduced myself and asked if they were here for the friends of dorothy meeting and they answered in the affirmative. Then I told them about the snotty dancer thing that had just happened. We're all friends now on Facebook.

* Another thing I had read about on the cruise forums is that around 4pm in the steamroom, funny business is likely to occur. I suppose this is when the closeted married guys can get there ya-yas out. I've never actually checked the veracity of this information but I shared it with the boys. One of the single guys decided to check it out. It's true! On two separate occasions there were afternoon shenanigans in the steamroom.

17 comments:

Mel said...

My parents did a cruise a couple of years back that included a stop in Jamaica. They signed up for a trip up into the hills to Bob Marley's birthplace and somehow never realized that most people were signing up for it so they could go score some pot. Which, of course, couldn't be brought onto the ship, so it all had to be smoked on the way back.

Rox said...

I learn so much reading your blog! Who knew what a Friends Of Dorothy meeting was?! (Probably over half of you!) I love that you're FB friends now!

I prefer bathrooms with no outer door, you'll notice a lot of new bathrooms are styled that way. It's the whole handle thing. I think shopping carts should all have a little Purell dispenser on them too because those damn things are filthy!

Cameron said...

Of course there are a lot of wonderful people out there of every sexual persuasion, but I have found that there are quite a few snotty gay men.

The other day I was sitting in a coffee shop in San Francisco next to a table of two older men and a younger one -- all obviously gay. They tossed such attitude towards me, disdainful looks etc. that I decided to move. The air instantly thawed.

Laverne said...

Can you imagine if some vanilla straight guy just decided to go in for a little steam bath?

I can't last more than 30 seconds in a sauna. Feels like I'm suffocating.

A Lewis said...

On our last cruise, the FOD meetings were very well attended...about 20 of us each night of the cruise. It really was a nice time. And, the dudes cutting in line? I'd have made them EARN their way in front of me.

Doug said...

You are Google hit #4 on "gooberdam."

Those two dancers were there for the "Enemies of Dorothy" meeting. The cruise should schedule those things on different nights. Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

I think the tissues have more to do with the norovirus than swine flu. It's one of the reasons I'll never cruise: too much feces on the common surfaces.

Jen said...

Anon 1:11: how do you ever leave the house?!

What's the lesbian equivalent of FOD?

Jen

truthspew said...

Sounds like an interesting time.

As far as steam rooms, I dont' know what the draw is but yes, it's a place for major homosexual activity almost everywhere you go that has a steam room.

Greg said...

Oh, I've from gooberdom. Its a real place. Kinda.

Get you, sending the single young queers into the steam to do your dirty wor-...er, ahm...research.

Mark in DE said...

What a great idea to request a 'Friends of Dorothy' meeting! Wish I'd thought of that when Spouse & I went on our last cruise. We saw exactly one gay couple on the entire ship, and they were aloof and barely responded to our smiles while exiting the elevator.

wcs said...

Have you and Serge ever done a "gay" cruise? I wonder if there are a few scattered hetero couples on those ships who request "friends of Jesse Helms" meetings?

Blobby said...

Anonymous is right - the tissues et al were about the norovirus. that nasty little bug that will shut down a ship for weeks for cleaning and recleaning.

I've had it (not on a boat) and it is a horrid bug. Though I did lose 16 lbs in 2 days.

...but I gained it all back in a few weeks.

Anonymous said...

If Serge would quit smoking, he would save money on tooth whitening too...
Knock off the sickarettes, Serge.

John Donaldson said...

Hey Sticky, I'm enjoying reading about your cruise. It's fun to read and remember my cruise from Mobile, Alabama to Mexico a few years back. Have a great time!!

A Bear in the Woods said...

I wonder if the female equivalent of Friendes of Dorothy is just Dorothy(s).
Steam rooms are lovely places...

Patricia said...

I'm slowly getting caught up and don't want to inundate your In Box but I just loved this:

"Dude, that is not cool. Not cool at all."

You did the right thing, but in a cool way. As opposed to the scary geezer Get outta my yard! way.