Unfruitful

The rental board, or Régie de Logement, is a kind of pre-court whose job it is to help renters and owners settle their grievances. This is their stated mission. It is basically a court that handles only this type of case. The decisions can be appealed and parties can go to civil court if the decision of the board is carried out incorrectly or to contest the decision. We know that nude dancer will never pay, nor appeal, and it's looking more and more likely that he's just going to disappear for good. (I think you're wrong Farmboyz, though I haven't donned a garment of his yet.)

So we go to the board for our hearing and are kept waiting for an hour before we are finally called into the courtroom. The judge asks us for the lease and the proof that we served him the notice of the hearing. Nude dancer, of course, is not present. I briefly explain that he has abandonned the apartment, and detail the last two verbal contacts we had with him. Then she tells us that we didn't try to serve him the paper hard enough, that people can be found and it was our job to do it. We protested! He has deliberately prevented us from knowing his whereabouts. He has no bank account, no mail arriving, no phone number, no job that we know of. (We think he is a nude dancer but this info came from Pornstar. He has only claimed to us to be "in construction". Yes, we could have prowled the nude dancer places looking for him, but we didn't feel that was reasonable. Not that we don't enjoy such places, it just seemed beyond the call of duty. Apparently not.) She informed us that there are private investigators in the city (how many hundreds are we supposed to spend in addition to the god damned mother fucking lost rent, oh sorry grandma, lost my head there) and that she would render her decision in the next few days. "Thank you, goodbye." (She must have just watched the Devil Wears Prada and tried out her Meryl impression. Or maybe she caught a rerun of that gameshow - I'm wracking my brain and can't think of it - you know, where she says "Goodbye" with her inimitable curtness - someone will remember in the comments)

Serge was pissed. I was slightly amused as I knew this whole affair would be pointless which is why I had already emptied the place. Serge tried to ask the judge what happens to his stuff if she grants the termination of the lease. She ever so functionarily informed us that she was a judge and that there were pamphlets addressing that in the lobby. And for this we paid over a hundred bucks?

We came home from the hearing and had a message on the machine. Someone who looked at nude dancer's apartment Monday would like to apply for it. I broke out in a broad smile at the Universe's benevolence. (It doesn't mean it's rented, just nice to see some interest.)

I'll let you know when we receive the tribunal's decision.