Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Disappointment

Well, it appears that I may have spoken prematurely. We met with the mortgage broker yesterday and it appears financing will be impossible to obtain. I shouldn't say impossible because there is always a crooked way to do things, but the wall we are up against looks rather solid and insurmountable. It all boils down to PMI. Apparently, we don't qualify for it, and the bank won't lend us the money without it. In order to qualify, we are short about 1200 a month in revenue.

It was suggested that we furnish documents substantiating the shortfall. The kind of suggestion with a wink and a nod. It felt kind of dirty, like talking to the car salesman.

So I find myself this morning downloading payroll software to fabricate pay stubs. And I don't like it one bit. (Just kidding, I would never do anything illegal.)

I'm also coming back to the conclusion that capitalism works great, if you've already made it. The fact is that it works against you as long as you are small potatoes. Whoever ends up with this property will need to be "richer" than us, and they are going to laugh all the way to the bank.

Then again, maybe we are greedy pigs. We already have the one building, perhaps the universe is telling us to content ourselves with that.

But what would Donald Trump do?

26 comments:

nongirlfriend said...

The Donald would have fired that bastard who told you to stretch things a bit.

Or maybe he would have promoted him. Who knows?

Go with your gut, T. It will never fail you.

St. Dickeybird said...

I'd pay attention to your conscience. Not because I think it's bad to deceive a bank, but if you're $1200 a month short, do you really want to risk defaulting on the mortgage because you can't afford it?

St. Dickeybird said...

Oh, and Donald would buy a bad wig for a disguise, and defraud his bank.

Sunshine said...

Can you get a guarantee from either one of your parents?

Polt said...

The Donald would buy the bank giving you problems, fire the management, put a flunky in charge, and then have his loan approved.

Oh, and then find some model younger than his daughter to become the new future ex-Mrs. trump.

Oh, and hopefully, he'd find a better wig maker.

Sorry about your situation though.

Snooze said...

Take it as a sign. There will be another home before you know it.

Timmy said...

reupload that download, you do not want to end up in prison for mortgage fraud.

Chunks said...

The Donald is an idiot, don't aspire to be like him!!

I agree with the others. Go with your gut, if it feels wrong, don't do it.

If the economy goes tits up, you'll be up shit creek. No one likes shit THAT MUCH!

Patricia said...

i'm with snooze. (and not just because i need a nap so badly, either). i wonder if it's the universe telling you that this isn't the one.

hindsight is perfect, of course. but just once, i want the secret decoder glasses ahead of time.

GayProf said...

I don’t know how Canadian banks work, but there are legit ways to get around these issues legitimately in the U.S. I would seriously talk to other bankers.

First, paying PMI is evil. Usually you have to pay PMI because you don’t have enough for a substantial down-payment (less than 20%). To avoid this (in the U.S.), you can actually take a second mortgage to pay 20% for the down-payment on the first. Yes, it makes no sense, but it really is true. Then you don’t pay PMI at all (which is money down the drain).

Talk to other bankers!

Oh, and if you are still in the real estate market, I happen to have half-a-house in Texas that I will sell you for a song.

Rebekah said...

man, that sucks. I'm sorry.

Lemuel said...

Really sorry to hear you have your dreams dampened. I read an interesting article by a woman roughly entitled "You Can't Afford to Be Poor". Boy, she had that right!

Hold on to your dreams and work to make them come true. Make sure that what you are looking at is your dream and not a nightmare.

toobusyliving said...

What about a Duplex rather than a Triplex?

Ed said...

WWDTD? (what would Donald Trump Do?) Figure that out then do the opposite. Hey, at least you got better looking hair! I say save your money and bide your time a better place will come around. From little acorns mighty oaks do grow!

Perplexio said...

The Donald would saturate himself in the media and trade in a 40 year old wife for a pair of 20 year old mistresses.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Not too long ago, I chrystallized a priciple in economics. Pure democracy tends toward socialism, and pure capitalism tends toward fascism.
I would imagine you guys get your returns gone over fairly regularly just because you're an immigrant.

CoffeeDog said...

Trump would fire someone in this case. Not because it applies, but simply because it feels good.

Steven said...

DT would probably make everyone have the same, stupid hairstyle - we all know it's a combover, Donald!

I'm sorry, it's my PMI working up on me (that time of the month).

Normlr said...

I know of a very creative mortgage broker. Let me know if you'd like his info. He was great with us, and a friend of mine.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Yep. Borrowing money is among the biggests pains in the ass.

Jason said...

I have $6000. What can I buy?

ink said...

Good luck, T. I hope you get things sorted out.

dawn said...

I personally found it quite ridiculous that I could just make up a number and tell them that's what I make. "Stated income" it's called. "Kinda Weird" is what I call it.

Oh, and Donald Trump would call up his dad and have him pay for it - have you tried that? (call Donald's dad)

Kalvin said...

That totally sucks. Hopefully things will turn out for the best in any case. As for what Donald would do, you're supposed to borrow someone else's money and then invest it in real estate. Hmm...sorry to hear about it though.

Donna said...

oh please, just lie.
and i agree w/gayprof, i haven't paid pmi ( a true waste of money and impossible to get off w/out refi) since my very first loan. That was a few loans ago!

xx
d

The Lone Rangers said...

Do what you need to do to get it without over extending yourself!!

DO you think Trump plays by the book??!!

Get rich so I can mooch off ya!