One day last week, spouse went out for something and I told him to bring me back a treat. In my mind I pictured a drumstick (ice cream, not chicken) but then felt guilty about that so I added, "Something little." Now I probably should have known better than to add this little additional instruction, because spouse is notorious for doing the opposite of what you tell him. It's why our toilet seat has no lid and the bathtowels are brown. (How are you going to spot an, erm, spot if the towels are brown?) To counter this little trait of his, I tried linguistic psychology tricks for a while to suggest things. You know, couching recommendations in phrases like, "Do you want to....?" or, "Do you think it would be a good idea to...?" but nowadays I don't even try because I get two words into those questions and he snaps, "No." And then there's whiny me, "But you didn't even hear what I was going to saaaaaaay." That whole dynamic wasn't really working for me, so I stopped trying. Anyway. What little treat do you think he came home with? It was something I'm sure we've never eaten together. Hershey's chocolate bar with almonds, excuse me bars, in fact five bars all lined up in a package. OMG. And he remembered about the nuts. I can't really see a reason for eating chocolate unless it's riddled with nuts. I've never voiced it, but after so long together I think you subconsciously know things about the other. That, or he went into the depanneur and selected the largest and most opulent sugar thing he could find. I'd call him a twerp but we sat and ate four of them right there on the couch one after the other and the last one I hid in the drawer for a special treat later. I'm sneaking it into his lunch today.
Reader Art turned me onto this site. Though I find many of the names and attendant sounds hilarious, I think my favorite is "tuna melt madness" followed by "I don't know".