Sunday, February 28, 2010

Toilet paper meme

I don't go in for memes much. Don't do them nor read them. I don't know why. Maybe because they are masturbatory at best and narcissistic at worst, but either way, they're really solitary activities. All that said, I'm still going to do one because I couldn't resist the topic. It's all about the buttwipes. So here goes:

1. Toilet Paper: Over or Under. It doesn't really apply at our house because we use the 20 year supply of toilet paper that we inherited when we bought this place. Since it's a huge industrial type roll, we've mickey moused a system. I guess according to the picture, technically it would be under.

2. Who replaces the empty roll in your house? We both do. It only happens every three months though due to the size of the roll.

3. What do you use if you run out of toilet paper at home? That's never happened in my life. Do people really let this happen? I can't imagine.

4. Seat up or down? It's always down at our house. And we don't have a lid.

5. Do you leave the door open? I never close the door unless we have guests.

6. Does your love leave it open? He usually closes the door unless he's going pee pee. One funny thing he does is disrobe completely for number 2. On the odd occasion I've barged in on him (which he strongly dislikes) I've been highly amused at the pile of clothes on the floor and his nakedness on the throne. (And he's gonna kill me for telling you. So shhhh.)

7. Do you always check for toilet paper first in a public stall? If I'm there to poop I do. Of course job number one is to avoid pooping anywhere but home. Still, there are times.....

8. What do you use if you run out of toilet paper in a public restroom? Can't say this has happened either. Surely I would have told you all about it if it had. Hypothetically though, I'd probably rummage around in my backpack for napkins and in the absence of my backpack, I'd waddle out to grab some paper towels. If there were others in the bathroom, I'd humbly ask (or shout) for assistance.

9. Do you wait until you are alone in a public restroom? No. People are so fussy, as evidenced by the question itself. For the record, 99.99% of my visits to public restrooms are for urinating. I have no hangups about urinating around others.

I got this one from Jeep Guy. Feel free to participate.


Blobby said...

Good to know the few times i've done a meme, you've just clicked "back" on your browser.

And for this one, of course we'd expect you to participate.

Word Verification: pingo

Nick UK said...

LOL at the industrial loo roll, since you will be using this for the forseeable why dont you treat yourselves to a commercial style holder?
I read somewhere that brits fold toilet paper before use but that north americans crumple it, does anyone know if this is true, certainly those I have checked with here in England do indeed fold before use.

tornwordo said...

Fold? How civilized. No we brutish North Americans crumple. We've covered this on the blog before, most people wipe "up" whereas I wipe "downward". Perhaps it differs across the pond?

A Lewis said...

Dear god in heaven:
The door is always closed for #2, always open for #1, I don't care who sees fact, the exhibionist side of me sort of likes it. Shh, don't tell. And, hell no, I've never run out....why would I do that? We both change it and it always goes downward.

Mel said...

Crumpling is wasteful, and I think I had stopped doing it by the time I was a teen. I used to have Serge's habit, as well, but stopped around the time I reached adulthood. I think having roommates had something to do with it.

Nick UK said...

Over here girls are taught to wipe from front to back, to avoid "contamination" and boys can do it any way they like but I suspect that since its mostly mums who do the teaching they also go that way!!!!
Through preference we have the TP over the top and down the front but strangely the holder in our downstairs loo rips the paper this way....... some household objects are just contrary like that.

As for shutting the door, I would love my kids to shut the door and remember to flush, and not open it when I'm in there.

Nick UK said...

Forgot to say, "replaces the roll" well that would be the TP Fairy!

Rox said...

I always hang it under. Little kids and kittens can't bat the roll empty that way.

I've known little kids who strip down to poo but never a grownup!

Greg said...

The door to the loo here closes poorly at best, and anyway, the cat would bust right it's always a challenge to remember closing when there's company.

This meme nearly killed me with laughter. I'm not sure if it was the Giant Roll, or the Folding, or well, just the whole, uhmm, Business.

: )

Lemuel said...

I'm with you on pooping outside the home. I just don't like to go anywhere except in my own private privy.

anne marie in philly said...

1. over
2. both
3. never happens
4. down
5. yes
6. yes
7. yes
8. ask for assistance
9. no (unless it's #2, then yes)

dykewife said...

because you told us not to tell anyone i immediately read that out loud to the family. so now they all know about serge's bathroom habit.

at our house we keep the seat and the lid down. kitty likes to "explore" puddles.

neurotic pooper! said...

I'm glad I'm not the only adult who has to be naked to poop! Yay I'm not a freak!

sageweb said...

I am still amazed at your giant roll of Toilet paper.