Monday, September 14, 2009

More that


I was supposed to do 12 of 12 but I just didn't have it in me. That was the day we went over to the church where the service will be held. Ugh. Serge asked the guy if the service could be short and not too religious (since his dad was a staunch atheist) and got a rather snotty reply. I guess it would be like asking a chef to prepare you something with no flavor. Then we had a weepy breakfast with the widow. All so very much fun to take pictures of, not. I did get a shot of din din which (I hope) demonstrates a tilt toward more healthy eating. We're trying to buy all the blue menu items (President's Choice lower salt, fat and calorie products) and avoiding dessert.

Yesterday we went to the open house of the STM, the public transportation organization. They opened a new bus garage and invited the public for a look see. We saw the brand new facility and learned useless facts about the buses. They are washed 3 times a week in summer and every day in winter, for example. It was a nice (and free) way to kill a couple of hours. When we got home Serge finished calling everyone on his list to inform people of his dad's passing. We are learning exactly what we need to prepare in case one of us croaks. And we have NOTHING prepared. What if we both died in a car accident at the same time? It would be very difficult to step in and know what's what. We plan to rectify that in coming months.

11 comments:

Mel said...

Sitting down with lawyers to sort out wills made us have to think and sort out a lot of things, but it was very instructive and well worth the cost.

Why not have the service at a nondenominational chapel or at a Unitarian church? Then the service could be about him and his life, rather than a god he didn't believe in, and they won't get upset about it at all.

Snooze said...

Frustrating about the lack of flexibility over the service but you're right about the analogy to a chef. Mel is right about the Unitarians... the one time I was there the service was led by a gay man who had just gotten married in Vancouver to his partner. Very refreshing to have in a church setting.

GayProf said...

I had no idea they washed buses so often.

A Lewis said...

Why do I feel funny telling you that I would love to have seen the "bus barn"...that is totally up my alley. And, apparently, I've been absent from your blog over the past few days -- I am so sorry to hear your news....I send along my peace and comfort to you both...in just the right amounts at just the right times. Hugs to you.

Rox said...

We felt the same way after losing Derwood's mom, like we had to make plans and arrangements for our own selves. The intention was good but alas, we still have nothing planned.

I wish you the strength to get through this time.

David said...

Ugh, grim.

Blobby said...

I would so pull that service from that church. But I know it's a timing thing etc. It's why I always like more informal memorials a bit after the fact.

Planning on you or your partner's demise is no fun - but we did it and happy it's done.

I am also the proud keeper of my parents last wishes - so there's that.

If we went together the only thing I worry about are the cats. I could care less about the crap. Or my porn closet.

"Just David!" said...

If you both died in an accident, why would you care? Just curious! My affairs are in perfect order, I did it years ago, now it's just a matter of updating a thing or two every now and then. It's a comforting feeling and it's a way to make sure it's all handled the way I want it to be handled.

Lemuel said...

My MIL died in late May. She had nothing to speak of in terms of estate, but with the help of my one SIL, she had everything mapped out. It was so much easier on the family to know how she wanted things.
We need to do such things. I keep procrastinating on my living will, why, I do not know. I have told the family my final wishes (cremation, scattered in "nowhere"), but I need to get it into writing. I do have a will, but I need to get going on the rest.
Is the church the choice of the widow?

Rick said...

Yeah, that reminds me: need to get a will made up.

That artichoke looks yummy!

Rebekah said...

keep up the healthy eating; last night I had potatoes for dinner. That's all. Probably not the most balanced.

Does the widow want the service at the church?