Friday, June 17, 2011

Examinations


Whose the cutest doggie in the world? We really should get him an agent. He oughta be in pictures don't you think? We've been going on the long walk every morning. He can remember the exact locations of morsels for days and days outside. Some kind of smell memory savant. 

The neighbor doesn't know it yet, but we're going to say no to the work on the common wall that he's trying to get us to pay for. He really did go about this in the wrong way. Instead of acting neighborly, he's acting all lawer-like (which is understandable since he is one) and giving official and menacing letters, while I'm asking questions like, "Are you sure this work is necessary? Can you guarantee that the work won't destabilize our foundation? What has happened on your property over the last three years that makes you think you need this work?" The responses I get are rather petulantly childish and menacing. "If you don't agree to the work now and it later becomes necessary, I'll hold you fully responsible for the floor in the basement that they'll have to tear up." Uh-huh. Fat chance. It's not like he presented proof of any kind, he just wants peace of mind. I think he thinks his house isn't going to vibrate anymore with the work. Good luck sir. We live on a busy street with heavy vehicle traffic. Frank came over last night and checked our place out and couldn't find any compelling reason for the work, even on the neighbor's side. Granted we couldn't go into his building, but the exterior looks largely unchanged since the work was done in 2008. (That's when they drove piles down on the front and side of his building.)

Wow, that was a boring paragraph. Sadly, it's consumed my mental real estate for the last several days. I slept well last night though having decided. Yesterday was the Men's Health Day where they do prostate cancer screening as well as a general health check up. I thought it was just going to be blood tests for the tell tale cancer bits that show up in the blood, but no, station 5 was the physical exam. It's been at least 25 years since a doctor inspected the dangly bits. He spent longer than I thought with the front and in my head I was shrieking, "Don't get excited!" Then it was bend over time. Ugh. He said, "This isn't going to hurt but it will be uncomfortable." And indeed it was. When he was done he said, "Congratulations, it's not enlarged." I think the appropriate word is "fortunately" not "congratulations". Still, I muttered a thank you and pulled up my pants. I thought about how this guy would be sticking his finger up hundreds of asses today and I wondered at what point one gets blase about it.

12 comments:

Rox said...

I'm glad you're standing up the the lawyer neighbor, he sounds like a nightmare douchebag bully. Ah, he's probably just a lawyer though.

Glad your 'tate is good.

truthspew said...

Last time I saw a doc was four years ago. That was the year where my general health was fine, it was my inner ear. But I had gotten a physical and everything checked out though he says my bp was a little high.

Thing is, if I do my bp outside the docs office it's normal. So I told him that.

As to the 'lawyer' good for you! Make the fucked descend into a full on psychotic break.

Buddy Bear said...

One advantage of being in your 40s is that the problem of excited dangly bits is much less likely to happen. I had countless tests and procedures as a 19-year-old cancer patient and it was "boing" every time.

anne marie in philly said...

thank you for getting a check up so that you are on this earth for a good long time!

many men won't go to a doctor until it's too damn late; I lost a friend 9 years ago due to colon cancer because he refused to go to the doctor. my friend was only 58 years old; too damn young.

scritches to georgie (and serge).

LSL said...

Just so you know, that third paragraph made up for the 2nd one. I don't know; it just gave me the giggles. Glad you're all checked out. 25 years is too long! And I think the word is "fortunately" too :)

Neighbor is an asshole.

Anonymous, too said...

Anne Marie's right. I've just been diagnosed with benign prostate enlargement and went through a lot of testing to make sure it's benign. Better to catch such things early, instead of waiting til you've got a life-threatiening problem.

And, no, I didn't get aroused. The urologist didn't turn me on -- not my type. The finger went straight in, straight back out, no wiggling around, in less than 10 seconds. Rather disappointing, really.

Your neighbor needs to be told, very tactfully, that he needs to be on Xanax or Ativan and under a doctor's care. Then run like hell because he WILL explode when that sinks in.

Finally, Georgie needs an agent. Maybe an acting coach, too. So do you and Serge. Then you can pitch the CBC on all three of you doing a series described as "Mr. Ed" meets "My Two Dads." You could get Betty White to guest star on occasion as one of Georgie's gradmamas, Mark Wahlberg to play Nude Dancer, and Celine Dion to play somewhat loopy as your other tenant. Perhaps Sir Patrick Stewart with a Quebecois accent as Georgie's "voice". Just be sure I get onscreen credit for "Series Created By", a cut of the gross profits, and royalties.

Mark My Words said...

Good for you for standing up to the bully, who really should have knwon better and used his neigbour voice instead of his lawyer voice to resolve this matter.

I will need to get mine checked soon. I may be imagining it bit the flowrate seems less than jetlike lately.

Blobby said...

I get my prostate checked annually - and by that, of course, I mean by a doctor. I find NOT having a female do it helps w/comfort. They don't have one, they don't know. I'm just sayin'

And I've told you for years Georgie should be in pictures. He's da man.

Birdie said...

Georgie really should be in advertising. He's so photogenic!

Glad your health is good! We want you around for a long time.

GayProf said...

Why does the neighbor think that suddenly deciding to do this work makes it your responsibility to believe him?

I think sticking fingers up people's bums (for medical reasons) must become tedious quite quickly. Imagine how many totally unhot men you would have to look at?

Mark in DE said...

Georgie DOES need an agent and SHOULD be in pictures! :-)

Mel said...

Seems to me that the prostate exam doc is most likely just hoping everybody remembered to wash their ass and wipe thoroughly that day. Because you can bet not everybody does.