Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dream colored reality

A long long time ago, my father said something to me that really stung at the time. I was trying to tell him about a dream I had had and he said, "Ricky, no one wants to hear about your dreams. They're boring for other people. They are only interesting to you." I took his words to heart, piercing as they were, and stopped myself from talking about my dreams. But other people continued, not having had this bit of insight from my father. And you know what? He was largely correct. That is not to say that there are not interesting dreams out there, nor is there a dearth of those willing to be interested in them. I've met people who think every dream is a puzzle, that they can "figure it out" if they only study it hard enough. But as I said, by and large, dreams are only interesting to ourselves.

Nevertheless, sometimes the influence of dreams is unavoidable. Yesterday, when Serge woke up, he came and joined me in the office, sat down with his coffee and said, "You're not leaving me for a woman." It wasn't a question, it was more a statement of reassurance to himself. I immediately gleaned that he had dreamt some such nonsense, but in my avoidance of hearing about dreams, I didn't ask any questions about it. Then spouse got the morning urge, right about at the 5th sip of coffee, and slipped off to the bathroom. I hadn't noticed this when I also got my morning urge, turned to go to the bathroom and discovered he had beat me there.

And then my dream came flooding back that I had had in the middle of the night. I had to go poo super bad. (What? Those are really the words I think.) I went to the bathroom to discover Serge peeing and said please hurry, it's an emergency, and he just stood there taunting me, a never-ending stream of urine squirting into the bowl. I leaned against the wall to "keep it in" but it didn't work and I stood there and shit my underwear, a big mud pie squished around my rump. I was furious, fiiiiiilllllllllllllllllled with hatred, as Serge continued to pee and cackle at me.

So that suddenly put me into a negative mood, "Hurry up, I have to go!" I barked at the closed bathroom door. "Okay!" he rather pitifully replied. We exchanged places shortly after and once done, remet in the office. It wouldn't be until the evening that Serge would detail his dream. By then I had forgotten all about it. He called around 7 from a local pub and asked if I had had a nice day, what was I doing, did I love him. "He's being awfully sweet," I thought, and told him I was going to cook a pizza. He said he would be home soon (which sometimes means "late") and he said he loved me again and we hung up. I figured he must have had a hard day or something. (If you know spouse, you know he's not mushy like that.) He came home an hour later. "I didn't expect to see you so soon! The pizza is still hot, there's some on the counter for you," I said when he walked in. He came right over and sat down beside me. And then he started.

"It was so bad. It was so real. You were leaving me, but I was the one who had to go. You said you were marrying a woman and that I had to move out." And then the dream got weird, something about his mother and a corpse and a stranger looking through the window and I don't know all what. But the terribleness of me leaving him to marry someone had really got to him. "So that's why he's acting so nice," I thought but did not say. It was so charming in a way. I liked that he had the weest bit of insecurity, something he would never ever reveal normally. This will keep my heart cozy and warm all week.

16 comments:

Lemuel said...

Be sure to reassure someone that you love him too lest uninvited dreams become reality.

Anonymous said...

Reassure him that it was only a dream. That you are not turning straight any time soon. That you love only him! Ahhh so sweet. Ed

CoffeeDog said...

I have break up dreams all the time, dreaming Mrs Coffeedog is leaving me. Scares the shit out of me, makes me thankful to wake up.

St. Dickeybird said...

I love hearing about dreams like this.
:)

Snooze said...

Did you then share with him your own terrifying dream?

Polt said...

You DID tell him you love and you'd never leave him for a woman, didn't you????

HUGS....

Chunks said...

I hate to say this but your dad was wrong! Dreams are fascinating. Mine, yours, everyone's! I love a dream story and this was no exception.

I also love that even in your sleep, you are poop-obsessed.

David said...

I'm sure I'm in the minority but something about all this rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I'm naive about relationships, but your happiness regarding the fact that spouse has revealed feelings of insecurity about your staying with him troubles me. Is he normally overconfident or smug in his belief that you would never leave him? Does his revealed fears give you a comfort you didn't previously have?

I'm sure I'm reading far too much into this, but I'm just not getting the warm-fuzzies from this.

em said...

Yeah, I agree with Rox. Perhaps a more honest thing would have been "I am not interested in your dreams".

I'm charmed by S.

GayProf said...

My family was quite the opposite. We fell into the "dreams are a puzzle" side. Moreover, learning what other people's dreams gave us insight into their character.

I wonder if your father even remembers telling you that. Or if it was just something he said at that moment because a young Torn was going on and on.

Finally, somehow I believe that if Serge started his morning coffee by telling you that his dream involved scat, you would have asked more questions...

Dantallion said...

I love this post. It gave me the warm and fuzzies.

Kevin said...

Isn't it strange that no matter how secure we are in our relationships, the thought of losing our lovers invades us even in our dreams?

I still can't figure out though what the meaning behind pooping in your pants means though...

Take care!

Patricia said...

dreams evoke such intense emotions and when they seep into our waking consciousness, they somehow take on a fearful life of their own. at least the scary ones do.

i actually think we all need things like this to shake us up once in a while, that it's good for us. especially when it's a doorway to a discussion.

people's dreams are never boring to me.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I love dreams, because they lways seem to touch on the dreamers deeper emotional life.

And you know I LIVE for that.

I'm just a dream junkie.

Gary said...

You father was a bit harsh, but only a bit -- I'd soften his pronouncement to something like very few people (some lovers, close friends, close relatives) are interested in your dreams. I don't remember mine at all and neither does my spouse, so this is Not A Topic. My ex not only remembered all of his, he wrote them down and tried to analyze them, which almost turned me into your father.
You have done the impossible (in a format used in one of my favorite movies, no less) and it still sucked me in. You have made me interested in your dreams and Serge's. I don't ever want to read another I-don't-have-anything-to-write-about post from you again, Mr. Spellcaster.
And as others have already written, if you have not yet told Serge you love him and will never leave him for a woman, stop reading this and go tell him NOW.

Mark in DC said...

My spouse is similar to yours in the sense that he is not prone to verbal sweetness or what most people would consider typical romance. Because of this I thought it was just HE who thought that nobody cares about other people's dreams. A few times I've tried (in vain) to tell him about a dream I'd had, only to be told the same thing your father told you.

Interesting, though, that you appear to feel the same way, right? I do not. I care about other people's dreams and would gladly listen intently if my spouse would tell me his. I'd listen to any of my friends' dreams if they cared to tell them. Maybe it is I who is the oddball.

FYI - after 11 years (next month) I can say I've never had a dream that involved either of us leaving the other. But I have had dreams that involved an urgent need to go poo.

Mark :-)