Monday, September 12, 2005

Bitchy and boundaryless

You know how she's all poise and smiles on TV. Maybe you can see a bit of her iciness through that? I can, believe you me. Whenever I saw her in person, she was in sweats, no makeup, no smiles, poiseless. Whiny, petulant and miserable was more how she came off.

Ok, it's 1988 and I'm working at the Rose Cafe in Venice. Arnie's office is a stone's throw from the place and the original Gold's gym is down the street. I worked the breakfast/lunch shift in the restaurant. Arnie and his hanger-onners would come in most mornings when we opened after their workout. Arnie's order was always the same, "Oatmee-ew." Sometimes Maria came in with them. She was always surly and out of sorts. Her hard angular face without makeup made her witch-like.

One day they came in and sat down five or ten minutes before we opened. (The coffeehouse portion opened earlier than the full service area which started at 7:30) The never waited to be seated, they just walked in and chose a spot. Didn't really matter, they were usually the first customers there in the morning. Anyway, there was about six of them there that morning, and I went out and got their order, brought them their juice and whatnot and waited for the vat of oatmeal to come out of the kitchen. I was placing the vat into the slot on the line in the kitchen where we scooped it up to serve to customers. There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned and Maria was standing there pointing at her watch. "It's 7:30, Where's the oatmeal!" It was both bitchy and whiny, a most irritating combination. But mostly I was appalled that she would march into the kitchen area (employees only thank you very much) like she owned the place and so I said, "You go sit down, and I will bring it to you when it's ready. GO! Go!" and I made the brushing movement with my hands. These people have no boundaries, didn't they learn about boundaries?

A couple of times, I caught her telling Arnie that he was leaving too much of a tip and removing some money from the tip tray. This, my friends, is unforgivable.

Neither of them were the thanking sort and usually treated me like I wasn't there when serving them. Arnie gave lots of attention to the waitresses - but that's another story.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should have that story guest blogged...

Anonymous said...

Oh, that last one was me.

em

Christian said...

Yeah, celebs ain't all they're cracked up to be. I lived in Aspen for five years, and could tell you stories that would make your hair stand up.

_Psycho said...

That's why I would never work in a restaurant ;)

Just because of Arnie, she probably thought she was a god or something... some peoples...

t said...

Good story!
Oh, man...after reading that about Maria and Ahh-Nold and their icky attitudes, I feel....so....dirty.
Hey, the dirt won't come off!
I keep brushing the dirt on my arms and legs and it WON'T COME OFF!!!
WHY WON'T IT COME OFF ?????!!!
Please, make the dirt I feel from Maria and Ahh-Nold COME OFF !!!!!

Joel said...

I've always thought Maria had pyschotic-cold eyes ...rather like those of Barbara Bush. Neither can see beyond their own insular worlds.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Insightful. Shows you how "for the people" they are.

MJ said...

Maria probably took some tip away because she couldn't afford it...

...oh wait...

hehe

nevermind.

BITCH!

farmboyz said...

A fascinating peek at Them.
Let's hear some more about your time in Venice.

Rebekah said...

I'd spit in her oatmeal.

Or better yet, get some rabbit turds and disguise them as raisins.

All the dumb heads that voted for Ah-nold are no where to be found now.

Hmmm...

donna said...

come on man, tell them some more rose cafe dirt!

peter gabriel
tori amos
rutgar hauer
grace jones
keith richards
dennis hopper
billy crystal
sean penn
barbara sukowa (for you Fassbinder fans)
manhar and kamal!(aka akbar and jeff)

eat a croissant and let it all come flooding back like a proustian memory