Thursday, May 31, 2007

In preparation for this morning's headache

I'm on my second martini. I'm listening to the songs I downloaded from Itunes. You don't understand how upset I am about Pandora being shut down. They were informing me on so many artists that I had no idea existed. Pandora (god bless those guys) kept the songs that I "thumbs upped" and I took the list and went looking for the tunes on Itunes. Most of them weren't available. (There's something wrong with that. I'm sitting here with cash on hand to purchase, but no, for whatever reason I can't. The music industry is what happens when capitalism goes wrong.) How can they not want my money? It's gotta be the middlemen who are the fly in the ointment. Damn middlemen. I shall never be one, that's a promise.

I never write posts inebriated.Yet here I am doing it. A rare glimpse into the alcoholisation of my brain. Spouse is sitting next to me, working furiously, under enormous stress, so I can't disturb him. He's sashaying in his chair to the music I downloaded though, so happiness reigns. I wonder in the clear yet foggy light of morning if I will have the balls, cojones, nuts, boules to post this. I'd give it a 50/50 shot from this vantage point, lol.

Tomorrow I finish my spring contracts. I guess tomorrow is today if I post this. What this means is that I now have 4 hours of work per week for the next 11 weeks. I'm trying to hide it from spouse. If he sees me loafing constantly, he will be resentful. But loaf I shall. I'm reading Angels and Demons now and the 4th Harry Potter should be in my grubby little hands this weekend. I've set my sights on knitting booties and biking, so those activities should be forthcoming.

What else. Life is dullish. No big news tragedies to pontificate on, unless you count the passing of Charles Nelson Reilly. He was fun wasn't he? Gone like we all will be. I finished the 5 people you meet in heaven. Pfft. I could have written that. I felt like each "lesson" was old news. Nice try, but my life experience has informed me better. I should write a fucking book like that, or like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance. But I have no credentials. You can't write a self help book without credentials. All I've got are my experiences (like everyone else) but no middlemen to vouch for me, lol.

Okay, spouse is getting crankified. Apparently it's almost time for dinner. Another apparency seems to be that I will prepare it. Good thing I defrosted chicken breasts. Now what to do with them. I think I"ll go the shake n bake route. Mwah!

25 comments:

mainja said...

so, I'm not surprised you're articulate when drunk, but the question is, how many times did you have to re-type a word? for me, when I'm drunk-posting (drunk-dialing for a new millennium) my problem is always the typing, I have to re-type every word 3 times to get it right.

Enjoy your loafing time in the summer, sounds divine to me!

Signalite said...

Contemplating getting drunk for once just to see what happens...

Sorry about Pandora. But also thank you. I had no idea what it was til now.

Lemuel said...

Since when do you need credentials to write a self help book?! Help yourself to some credentials and get writing, Torn! You will be a help to us all!

St. Dickeybird said...

Everyone should boozyblog once in a while. And it sounds like you're in for a fun summer!

CoffeeDog said...

I too read books and think I could have written that. And art, I look at some of the crap put there and think I could have created that. But alas, folks like you and me, we get passed by!

Anonymous said...

i love your posting drunk or not...thank you keep writing.

donintoronto....

pssssssssst.... i think spouse is one very lucky man...

:-)

Lacey said...

Well, OK, I'll admit it. I love Jackson Pollack, but come ON. I've got about ten cans of left over paint in the basement and I HAVE to believe I could do that.

You make me laugh.

Polt said...

Couldn't you write "Zen and the Art Of Being a Former American In Canada Who's Now Teaching. Oh And I'm Gay With An Attrative Husband, Friendly Dog, and I'm Wearing a Former Gay Dancer's Shirt"

....Course, the title could use a little tweeking....

HUGS....

Kevin said...

"knitting booties?" Do you and spouse have an announcement to make?

Seriously though, maybe with the extra time on your hands you should consider a book. You have written some powerful posts in the past and with your talent you could weave them into a great book.

To you it may be "boring", but maybe a gay themed book that shows the world that we aren't so different from "them" may be just the thing needed.

Anyway, just my opinion.

HUGZ

Lewis said...

Please, martini in the morning???
I guess it's probably noon somewhere. I like that word....crankified. I'm going to start using it if you don't mind!

Ed said...

Buzzed Tornwordo is better than most others. Say did you guys plant any garden this year? I'm just saying you might be hitting the Pot a bit much.lol. I remember last year I think you had Tomatoes and Pot growing, right?

Vila H. said...

How's the hangover? ;)

GayProf said...

You mean that people post when they are sober???

Chunks said...

I too am sad about Charles Nelson Reilly. He was fabulous on Match Game, which is my all-time favorite Game Show. Anyway.

Blog smashed all you want, it's really enjoyable. I loved your use of the F-word and I agree, you should write a fucking book. I would buy it. Hell, I bought Dawn's book about running and I am the laziest person going when it comes to excercise! Write one. Charge $16.95 for it plus shipping.

Mark in DE said...

Like the others, I found your martini-soaked blog entry thoroughly enjoyable!

Patricia said...

i love your posts sober. i adore your posts tipsy.

oh and if you get good at booties, i want a pair! (thinking positively.)

Christie said...

How about "A Year in the Life of..."

Just like your blog, it would give people a glimpse into what it takes to be in a successful relationship with a successful career and a successful blog!

Don't forget to include us in there! I'll smile and say "cheese" for ya :-)

Jason said...

I need to learn how to blog after a few martinis. Mine are just rude gibberish.

bardelf said...

I bet you talk a mile a minute when inebriated. I hope the buzz was divine!

David said...

I was also very unimpressed with "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." And lucky me, TWO separate people gave me copies of it. I can't bring myself to throw out either one.

Chris said...

Another hooray for inebriated blog posts. They're really are the best kind.

Rebekah said...

You don't sound drunk enough to me.

But then again, I can't hear you.

I think it's the "Mwah!" at the end that gives you away.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

"5 people" is schlock. You'fun when you're snozzled.
I don't understand why it's so, but the music business has always been a muddled mess. It should be a simple thing to make music available to the people who want it.
Have fun loafing this summer, and knit a bootie for me.

dawn said...

Uh, this is not like the drunk e-mails I usually get from people. There aren't spelling errors every other word, you make sense most of the time, and you used punctuation. I say drink more next time.

Although I like the drunk stream of consciousness.

robert78 said...

That was great!

PS thankyou so much for pfft-ing The 5 People You Meet in Heaven. :D