Thursday, October 12, 2006

Bath balls and rubber

Spouse and I had a moment of discord over the weekend. Throughout all of this saga, we have been each other's support, but amidst all the stress, we were bound to snap at one another eventually.

He had prepared a bath and placed candles around it. We were going to take our first bath in years! (Our last place only had a shower.) As we nestled into the tub together we started talking about the flaky renters and how we should proceed. And somewhere in there I said, "You need to grow some balls."

Yes, I can be a vicious son of a bitch too. It should be no surprise that bathtime ended rather abruptly. I really blew that one.

He did, however, produce the balls of which I spoke and phoned the leaseless (deadbeat) tenant to tell him he had 24 hours to pay or we'd empty his apartment of his things.

The tenant showed up a half hour later with a check. We were mollified although the check couldn't be cashed until Tuesday, after the holiday weekend.

Whaddaya know but the guy showed up at midnight Monday night and moved all his stuff out.

I smell rubber.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the words of Tigger's song:
Bouncey, Bouncey, Bouncey, Bouncey,
Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun...

Rubber or not, you either have your money or a case of passing bad checks (as in "file charges") - and an opportunity to rent to someone better.

Ed said...

I hope you waved goodbye to the slacker and yelled "don't let the door hit you in the Ass on the way out!" I'm sure there are people that will pay on time just waiting for a place to rent. May I suggest next time that you leave all problems outside the bathroom door? There is a time and place to discuss such things but in the Bed or Bath is not the right place. I hope Spouse knows your sorry for interupting his bath for two fun. Things will get better, at least now the rest of the renters will know you mean business.

JoeL said...

Good for you.

The renter part I mean.

I'm not sure it's the kind of rubber you should be taking in a bath for 2.

A rubber ducky is better. lol

Sunshine said...

You were a meanie to say that to Serge. :P

St. Dickeybird said...

Wordo! Never criticize a mans balls when he's in the bath!

And yeah, that cheque's bouncing.
:(

Snooze said...

Maybe your timing was off, but now Spouse will be tougher with the tenants. Just hope he's not tougher with you!

GayProf said...

Why did Spouse need the balls? Why couldn't you have had the balls and phoned?

Either way -- This way you can rent the unit to somebody who will actually pay for it.

Timmy said...

i take it the check was not good?

Rey D said...

Don't sweat it. Being a bit tought on your bf gives you an opportunity to be extra sweet later. Besides, you did get some results, and he and you know that the love is there no matter what.

I like your situation very much. I had been wanting to be a landlord for the longest time, don't ask me why, but I think it's cool.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Imprison him for fraud.

Doug said...

Hopefully the next tenants will be better.

I'd recommend setting up another bath with an agreement to not discuss work.

Spider said...

Hey - sometimes stuff just slips out... I am sure you made it up to him...

Patricia said...

yeah. because before the bouncing check, your life didn't offer enough drama, right?

i detest cheaters.

The Persian said...

aww poor Serge :(

I guess the comment worked tho.

David said...

Hopefully you returned to the bath after the renter turned up with the check.

After all, Serge had just recently grown those balls and they need to be watered.

Foxy Stone said...

I like to say "just grow a pair" but that got me in trouble in SanFran. That sucks...

I used to work for a gay man who rented out section 8 (gov't funded housing)... you got off easy.. one night this woman who hadn't paid rent in six months not only left, but she plugged all the basins with crap and turned the water on.

The workers showed up the next day to find the bathtub in the kitchen.

that's just one example... i have so many other wonderful ones for that job... I know not very inspirational... just watch your renters closely.

Anonymous said...

There's a way to collect on a bum check and still get as much of the money you are owed as you can. Go to the bank and try to cash it. If they say there isn't enough money in the account to cash it, then ask "How much would it take to Certify the check?" They can't tell you how much is in the account but they can tell you how much you'd need to top it up to get the rest of the money out of that account. Keep going back until it can be certified, or just get as much of it as possible.

I used to manage a 31 unit building, and still have nightmares. I'm praying for you two!

Oh and the balls comment? Do you sound like me or what?! Totally something I would say. Totally. Open mouth insert foot.

t said...

When you said
"I really blew that one"
I thought maybe
you quickly apologized.

I guess I took it the wrong way.
Never mind.

If the check bounces,
I hope it wasn't too big.
As least you got rid of a freeloader, huh?

Kalvin said...

Why on earth were you talking about this in the bath? And you must have an awfully large tub. I'm so envious...

joey said...

I was just going to say exactly what Kalvin did. But at least - the problem's gone.

dawn said...

If it weren't for the two person bath I'd say this landlord thing was no fun at all.

dirk.mancuso said...

May I recommend preparing some notecards with light-hearted and frivolous conversation fodder before the next bath? Just trying to help...

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

ooh, we always specify money order or check, when it gets to ultimatum time. hindsight.
But Spouse showed admirable manliness, suitable for admiration. In the balance, it must have been worth it. I just love manliness.

The Lone Rangers said...

Ok maybe you did ruin bathtime but you got accomplished what you needed to...

Anonymous said...

I hope you have at least paid a lot of attention and care to his new found balls.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I just read this post again. I find it unbelievably charming that in your world, this is what defines vicious son's of bitches. I'm certainly terrified. Poor Serge, is he out of the Sanatarium yet?
Since he has balls now, I hope you're taking care of them properly.

Rebekah said...

I like what t said.

wait...I'm one of the few who don't want to imagine it.

You guys are like... I don't know... my brothers...

You're supposed to just kiss each other hello and good by and hug once in a while.

God I'm getting to be a prude.