Friday, October 06, 2006

Snippets

* People are like mushrooms. All mushrooms share similarities though still exhibit wide variations. You've got black, brown, white. A few are magical, many delicious and still others deadly. Sometimes they grow on you.

* Quebecers eat more Kraft mac and cheese per capita than any other society in the world.

* Cancer is just your own cells turning against you.

* I just learned of a small religious cult here in Montreal whose leader claims to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. I wouldn't mind chatting with this fellow.

* We all long for a quick and painless death when the time comes yet most of us wouldn't have the cajones to ensure it. (a gun to the head for example)

* I was accosted by a religious fanatic the other day. For ten minutes she worked on me to accept Jesus Christ as my saviour. I marveled at her zeal.

* Jobs you've got to wonder why people are drawn to: proctologist, embalmer, roofer.

* There is no knowing, there is only believing.

* I don't understand faking an orgasm. It's like faking eating or faking shitting, I mean what's the point?

* In Japan, the terminal patient does not know his/her condition. The family is told and it is up to them to reveal or conceal the news. Tradition dictates that it be concealed most of the time.

* Define "sky". Not as easy as it seems, is it?

24 comments:

Lemuel said...

We have a small paperback book entitled "Salted Peanuts" that read like your snippets. We used to keep it in our "library", but we tended to spend too much time there because we kept reading the book. LOL!

You're snippets are like that, like salted peanuts - or Lay's potato chips. No one can eat/read just one.

Do you sell beer on your blog? (***grin***)

toobusyliving said...

Maybe I wish I was born in Japan.........

Spider said...

The one about mushrooms - how true... you must have had a hell of a writing teacher in HS and College - I just LOVE your stuff...

Timmy said...

"I don't understand faking an orgasm. It's like faking eating or faking shitting, I mean what's the point?"

HAHAH! Too funny! So true!!!!

Hope you have a great weekend!

St. Dickeybird said...

I've faked a few.
Normally I'd agree - it's detrimental to your sex life if your partner thinks they're doing a good job when they're not.
But sometimes, if it ain't gonna happen, faking isn't a horrible thing. Especially if you're a guy, because not being able to get a guy to come is seen as being pretty pathetic.

Anonymous said...

If you're extremely tired and your partner is not, faking can be a realy good time saver....

;)

Polt said...

Faking an orgasm...maybe you've got to get to bed to get for work the next day, and the guy isn't as great in bed as you've been led to believe, and you just want to whole damn thing to be over with.

Faking an orgasm...yet another great reason to always use condoms. :)

HUGS and stuff...

GayProf said...

People are like mushrooms... Sometimes they grow on you.

If you are having mushrooms grow on you, I urge you to see a doctor. That's not right. Or you need to be more active...

Jason said...

That Japanese snippet is really interesting.

I love the religious groups that hang out on university campuses looking for the "lost forlorn" students. Then they invite the targetted student to a "party" so he/she can make friends -- bible-class style. They now issue warnings about this in the daytimers.

Patricia said...

quebec has a lot of drawing points already. this kraft mac & cheese thing just tips the scale.

Ed said...

The Sky is the area between the ground and Outer Space. Also, the area where there is air to breath.

Let me tell you a fact: The guy who thinks he is Jesus Christ is a complete whacko and so is anybody who believes him, there!

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I have faked an orgasm only once in my life, also taking a dump. One was to satisfy my (then) wife, the other was to satisfy a dominatrix nurse. I will not fake bodily functions no more, to misquote Chief Joseph.

The Persian said...

Why am I not surprised Kanucks eat more Kraft Mac & cheese? horrible stuff.

Have a great weekend :)

KJ said...

Love the blog. Just started one myself and learning the inns and outs. I never got faking orgasms either. Bit like faking laughter - depressing for all concerned. I also got lost for half an hour following up your blog links! sheesh.

Em said...

Sky: over our heads and up to 50 miles.

I would hate that whole Japanese secretive culture thing. I would hate it viciously. I would feel trapped.

Also you made question whether I really want a quick and painless death. It takes me a bit to process. I really don't know what I might want. Well, really I don't want to die at all. But my grandmother told me that would change by the time I got old.

Sure the Jesus guy is nuts, but probably very interesting. Way more interesting than the fanatics who try to convert total strangers.

Doug said...

I suppose humanity can be defined as a cancer.

I have heard that proctologists in ancient times used candles instead of flashlights.

dawn said...

You might fake eating or shitting if you wanted the dinner or bathroom break to be over with so you could move on. Nothing worse than a dinner that drags on, ya know.

Anonymous said...

Sky(e)- Delicious tasting vodka. Comes in a blue bottle. Have a Great weekend!

Chunks said...

Show me the dookie!!!! How could one fake a shit? Why would one need to fake a shit? I will ponder this.

I would rather a quick painless death any day rather than a long drawn out one. Rip that bandaid off and run me over with a bus.

Rebekah said...

I've never faked an orgasm, but I've considered it. Sometimes, you know, it's just not going to happen for me, and well, I've been with guys who just "won't admit defeat!" as if their manhood is at stake.

Again, I've not had to fake one in the last eight years, because really, how can one fake it with oneself?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Sky: 1) n, the volume of spacee between the earth's surface and the edge of its atmosphere, comprising the all the gases including nitrogen which gives it a blue tint to onlookers from earth.

2) pronoun, a stripper who works at the Jug Shack. Works Thursday - Sunday nights.

I'm off to dictionary.com to see how I did.

Thom said...

But why eat Kraft macaroni and cheese when you can so easily have McPoutine? ;-)

dirk.mancuso said...

My mother encouraged me to think about becoming an embalmer...

David said...

* But they all taste great in soup!

* I may need to move to Quebec.

* Been there, done that.

* I thought Jesus was supposed to just come again, not be reincarnated.

* I don't see a gun to the head as guaranteed painless. Especially if you're off by a few inches. I think "dying in sleep" is what most people refer to.

* I marvel at your patience.

* How about the guys that drain the port-o-potties?

* I don't know if I believe that.

* When you know it ain't gonna happen but the guy won't let go of your dick and you are starting to chafe, and you don't want to hurt his feelings, then you fake it. Especially if you happen to be in the shower with him and he won't really notice.

* That just gave me the chills.

* Something I have 'scuse myself to kiss.