Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Couple a one-liners

There was a recap in the paper of all the best jokes during the Just for Laughs festival (hahaha.com) and I read through all of them but I only laughed heartily at two.

9/11 changed the amount of bullshit we accept from our government from 'some' to 'infinite'.
-Greg Proops

In Dubai, I got a throat infection and I coughed up phlegm and accidentally ordered a taxi to the airport.
- Sean Meo

There was another one that made me smile even though I don't get the horn part.

A unitard. Sounds like a special-needs kid with a horn.
-Jimmy Carr

I'm off to an overnighter in the country to visit friends. (I hope they tolerate me carrying Harry Potter with me everywhere.) Be back Friday.

23 comments:

P.Brownsey said...

The horn bit: unicorns have horns.

Timmy said...

i like the first one!

have a nice trip!

Lemuel said...

It's always nice in the country. :)

CoffeeDog said...

LOL.

Ed said...

Have a nice country trip. Take pictures.
Blond joke: A Blond decided to go ice fishing. She went out on the ice and started to drill a hole. A voice form above said, "There are no fish there." She moved to another spot and started to drill again the voice said, "there are no fish there," She moved to a third spot and started to drill a hole. The voice said, "there are no fish there." The Blond said, "Are you God?" The voice said no I'm the Manager of this Hockey Rink."
Joke courtesy of Blogger friend Brad.

Cooper said...

Harry Potter is choppering with me today to ther La Salle Lakes area where I will be doing wildfire duty. My breaks will consist of Deathly Hallows.

Enjoy your "country cousin" visit.

Jason said...

Here's how on the ball I am. I thought your "overnighter in the country" was a joke at first. Didn't see the humour in that one.

Patricia said...

don'tcha love it when you have a book so good, you just don't want to put it down? i really gotta start reading mr. potter.

Doug said...

Have a great slumber party!

GayProf said...

Harry is too heavy for me to drag around. I am the laziest slug in the world.

Have a good evening!

Chunks said...

I had to read the unitard joke three times before I got the unicorn thing.

Have fun in the sticks! Take some snaps!

Dantallion said...

Hope you're having a great visit to the country. Your timing it perfect - It's freaking hot here today.

Lyvvie said...

Have fun!!!

I love Greg Proops and Jimmy Carr but don't know the other guy. Can't wait to talk HP!

madamerouge said...

The Proops joke is great.

I heard that the new HP book is printed on 100% post-consumer recycled fibre.

Polt said...

Proops is great! Was even back in the 90's on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?". The good British version, not the crappy, Drew Carey American version.

Have fun in the country.

HUGS...

JoeL said...

Unitard

Unicorn/retard

Get it my little unitard?! lol

Snooze said...

I want to have friends in the country!

bob said...

Jimmy Carr = so. not. funny.

But that's just me.

dawn said...

Ahhhh the country. How upper class of you. Or British. "We're going on hoiday to the countryside."

And I don't think they'll notice the Harry Potter book, everyone is carrying them around, it's like a purse.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I just finished reading Harry. I hope to do a post (no spoilers) on him soon.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Those are some good one-liners. Those guys should be blogging!

Enjoy Harry Potter. Glad you saw the movie.

3-D, huh?

TankMontreal said...

My favorite:
I've been on so many blind dates, I should have gotten a free dog.
- Wendy Liebman

zooplah said...

Maybe it's just me, but when I saw "unitard" my first though was it was something like a leotard ("retard" didn't even enter my thoughts until you mentioned it).