Thursday, July 19, 2007

Hotels and dramedy

One of the hotels we stayed at was the Crowne Plaza. At check in, I politely asked if they had smoking rooms and was admonished that no, the entire hotel is non-smoking including the corridors and the pool area. Then the clerk made me sign something saying I would be charged $250 if smoking "occurs" in the room. Then, in case I had forgot the clerks finger-wagging, they had this friendly reminder in the room.

I much preferred the Doubletree, where every answer was yes and then they put a warm chocolate cookie in your hand at checkin. It's such a small thing, a cookie. But they are total geniuses - how can you have a bad first impression when you bite into a warm chocolate chip cookie? Did I mention it was warm?

When we went to visit Dee and her boyfriend up in Eagle Rock last week, Dee had put out some snacks to nosh on before going out to dinner. Her bf, Nate, was still getting ready while we sipped wine on the patio. We heard some noises inside and then the shouted word, "Pussy!" Dee jumped up and went inside, all of us a bit perplexed at the outburst emanating from inside. I followed her in. Dee immediately diagnosed the problem as Nate lolled on the couch looking drunk. He needed sugar. And now. I've seen this before, this problem that occurs in diabetics. There is a "drunkiness" about the person that signals dangerously low sugar levels in the blood. Nate became a bit belligerent and tried to avoid letting Dee put a sugar pill in his mouth. She ran around grabbing sugary things to try to get him to eat. Nate kept shouting with ever increasing insistence, "Pussy! I want some PUSSY!" It was a really strange moment, hilarious actually, except for the part where if we fail, this person could go unconscious and slip in to a coma. I went back to the patio thinking if worst came to worst she'd have to give him some to get him to take his sugar. Apparently she was successful without having to whip her kitty out.

Ten minutes later, the drama over, Nate turned back into regular guy and we all went off for a fine French dinner. Serge and the waiter got into it a little bit, the waiters were from France and scoffed at his dialect (we ordered in French). You think Americans are arrogant, no way, French waiters have that market cornered.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the words of the song from My Fair Lady: "...the French don't care what they do so long as they pronounce it properly."

I'm glad your friend's bf came back out of the diabetic episode. It is more evidence of how delicate a balancing act maintaining our health can be.

dantallion said...

LOL - I'm not sure I would have recovered fast enough from hysterical laughter to actually feed him something sweet. Classic, that.

CoffeeDog said...

See, the arrogance is what turns me off from visiting France. A-holes. They are in America and they still act superior. They hate us, yet so many of them want to live here.

Pussy!

Doug said...

Did the hotel at least provide a location for smoking? It sounds like they've banned it from their entire property.

Did Nate remember his episode? If so, I feel badly for him. If not, it's hysterical!

I think the French have more of a reason to be arrogant than Americans do.

bardelf said...

Even here in Newfoundland, where smoking is a way of life, nearly every hotel/motel has now gone smoke-free. Drives my bf crazy.

Patricia said...

you're right about the little things during a first impression.

i remember one of the first nice places i stayed at. i came back to my room around 8 and found my bed turned down, the radio softly playing classical music and two warm cookies on my nightstand.

i swear, that unexpected joy outweighed the actual trip.

dpaste said...

Shades of "Steel Magnolias."

Oh, those French.

r said...

That's funny. I didn't know he was a diabetic. Then again, why would I?

Hey, everyone is smiling in that picture; that must be a first.

Anonymous said...

" Apparently she was successful without having to whip her kitty out."

This has me giggling this morning. You have a way of putting things, Torn.

mare said...

I'm a smoker myself, but I'd never smoke in a hotel room. You're there for only a night (or two) but the smoking smell really goes into the curtains. Besides I wouldn't want to sleep in the same room I smoked in.

But they should provide some outside space (balcony, terasse, patio) where one can smoke.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

Just caught up on your travel blogs

hope the warm hotel cokkies were warm for good reason and not that someone had been sitting on them!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder If I could use that? Cock I want Cock! Nope nothing. That is both funny and sad.
Say that French waiter had a lot of damn nerve to make fun of an accent when he obviously couldn't wait to leave France himself.

Snooze said...

I can't stand it when French people look down on the Quebecois. For that reason I never go to Alliance Francais for french lessons. I want to sound like the perfectly acceptable French speakers in my own country.

Jason said...

If I recall correctly, it was a bit fishy and not at all sugary.

Devo said...

FYI, fishy isn't the norm, and is suggestive of an overgrowth of unfriendly flora, just clarifyin'. That is such a funny story, and the whole whip the kitty out is too funny! Glad he didn't die from lack of pussy-haha! I would be such a sucker for the warm chocolate chip cookies as well. Ah, such snobbery comes in all forms, does it not? Pompousity is something else altogether.;)

dawn said...

The man knows what he wants, even in a diabetic fit. A man of convictions that one.

A Lewis said...

My god, I haven't screamed pussy in years....many years. And I'm not even sure I meant it back then. In my many travels, I have found that many hotels now are smoke free in their entirety. And that $250-$500 charge is pretty standard. Sigh.

publius100 said...

The french taught the rest of the world the proper definition of arrogance. When I was in school there, the only reason they even deigned to deal with me was they thought when I said I was from Georgia, I was referring to (formely) Soviet Georgia. Otherwise, I'd have been scum under their hubcabs.

Mark in DE said...

This sounds just like that scene in "Steel Magnolias" where Shelby has the diabetic seizure at Truvy's salon! "Drink your juice Shelby, drink your juice. Yes! Drink your juice, that's right, drink it. Drink it." Although somewhat comical to read about, I imagine it might have been a bit less comical to witness.

Mark

dirk.mancuso said...

"...she was successful without having to whip her kitty out."

I laughed out loud at this. (But then you know how I love the use of the word "kitty"...)

S said...

I know a guy who could faint after asking for pussy. He wasn't diabetic, though.