Okay, I am not making this up. True, I could be silent on the matter, but that's not like me.
It's not totally my fault though, it seems that poo things keep happening. First, I wake up in the middle of the night with HORRIBLE cramps in my gut, I think I'm going to die, but wait, maybe it's just a BIG POO coming down the pipes, and OUCH ARGH, I slog out of bed and plant myself on the bowl, to try to coax something. It was a grueling 5 minutes and finally the sphere exited. It felt like I'd had a baby. Then back to snoozing.
Then yesterday, I took Sara out for a walk and she snarfled up some little dog poo (she loves little dog poo, I don't know why) before I could stop her. THEN, not 10 minutes later, I caught her snarfling up remnant floating turds in the toilet. (I'm blaming spouse for that, though he would surely disagree) Gah! How can I love my pooch when she does such disgusting things? No kisses for her for a week at least.