Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Complimentary

I got all red-faced yesterday. It hasn't happened like this in a while, so I guess I should be happy. Just as I was being let out of the secured area by one of my students, she said to me, "Richard, all the women who work here find you very handsome." I looked right at her and said, "Gee, thanks for embarrassing me." She laughed and said something else, but I was too off balance to pay attention.

It's not that I can't take a compliment. I'm very good at saying thank you for compliments, but why say thank you for something you had no hand in? I have a similar reaction when someone compliments my eyes, since I had no doing in the fabrication of them. If you compliment my clothing (which I selected) or my work (which I did) or my friendliness (which I strive for) then I'm honored and grateful for the compliment. Otherwise, it just embarrasses me.

At least I'm not like spouse. Every time I tell him he's cute or handsome, he invariably replies, "I know."

33 comments:

CoffeeDog said...

Serge..."I know" LOL

That's like me telling Mrs Coffeedog "Look at how cute I am" She just rolls her eyes and agrees.

You do seem friendly, from what I know of you from your blog :-)

Snooze said...

that's so cute to imagine you blushing at being told you're handsome!

Maurice said...

Too cute on all counts: you blushing upon receiving a compliment and Serge's "I know". :)

Well, although both of you are without question handsome, I can say that it's by far your warmth, insights, quirkiness, humour and friendliness that keep me coming back to your blog.

Personally I've become blazé rather than embarrassed about compliments about my eyes ...until a very special someone made an original comment that almost made me cry...

Doug said...

Angel: "Torn has very nice eyes."
God: "Thank you. I made them myself."

Just because you're not the creator doesn't mean you shouldn't say 'thank you' in response to compliments about your features. You have a hand in keep everything healthy and in proportion. You don't drink yourself into oblivion every night, which would make your eyes all bloodshot and puffy.

Ed said...

Torn, you are so smart and friendly and handsome. You have wonderful eyes and a nice smile. Oh, Serge is very handsome too. He just admits the truth and doesn't try to deny the beauty that is before him. Take a lesson Torn, stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself, "I'm good looking and darn it people like me!" There feel better?

Words83 said...

touche - I also feel strange saying "thank you" for things you just can't help - but then again, you COULD be ugly despite whatever genetic features you were blessed with...for example, you could not shower, you could constantly cut yourself when you shave, have multiple facial piercings, waxed your eyebrows and painted them on with markers, died your hair purple, etc....so maybe you should say "thank you" for knowing how to upkeep yourself?! although I do say "I know" when people compliment my clothes since I didn't make them

Lemuel said...

Well, he is.
...and so are you. :)

Perhaps you can think of it as simply saying thank you to someone for saying something nice to you, for being gracious, for being kind.

There is so much anger in our world, so much selfishness, so much nastiness, so much rage, isn't it appropriate for us to give some positive reinforcement to kindness with just a simple thank you?

Anonymous said...

I agree with your student - I think you are VERY handsome, and I've only seen you via photos & videos! The fact that you blushed when she said it makes you even cuter!!

Patricia said...

i love it when a man blushes. it isn't something one can generally control and so it seems a genuine response to something that touched him.

hmmm... i need to go on a mission to make my hubs blush. i can't remember the last time i saw it.

Cooper said...

I'm a blusher, too. I guess we could always compliment your mother on your handsome looks because you do look like her. She gave you the raw material but you have maintained it. Your friendliness and charm is what animates and refines that handsomeness. You know. :)

David said...

While Doug beat me to it, I also wanted to say that you do have a hand in it. You keep yourself in great shape and make an effort to look presentable. There are plenty of people your (and my) age and younger that you can clearly see were attractive in the past and have already let themselves go. Take credit where credit is due.

Paul said...

Spouse's "standard reply" made me giggle.

You're funny!

Lyvvie said...

...and you didn't think to ask "What women? All the women? Why are all the women talking about me? Why? What did they say?" Because I would have.

Forget embarrassment, what's the gossip?!

And I like your friendly ways. Striving must come easy for you.

GayProf said...

I am sure the blushing made you seem even more attractive.

Patrick said...

You're obviously a total babe, and I concur, I bet the blushing made it even better. I hear what you're saying about not feeling like you can take credit for it, but others here make a good point, and what the hell, enjoy it.

I hope Serge thinks to tell you you're handsome from time to time. Or does he assume you know, and don't need to be told? That could be tricky.

I would also want to know why 'all the women' had been discussing me.

Patrick said...

And um... I need a little more information about this 'secured area'. Why were you in it? Why did a student have to be the one to let you out? What exactly were you DOING there? In the context of this story, I have to admit this mysterious area is taking on some interesting qualities in my head.

Maybe I don't want to know. I bet the reality isn't quite as hot as my fantasy.

em said...

Well, yes, but when Serge says I know he has a fabulous I know I'm being obnoxious air about him. Not that he minds being obnoxious.

I like the way you wrote this, very much.

Anonymous said...

"i know" is only cute if it's true.

Enemy of the Republic said...

You and I have something in common. I get really embarrassed when people compliment me on my looks. My husband, on the other hand, never gets phased. The other day at a dinner, he was compared to the young Marlon Brando (I thought--wait, I've been married to this guy for a very long time and even I never thought that--Marlon was hot!) and of course he said: "I know, I've heard that one. Thank you." I kicked him!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

The ladies are digging you. Enjoy it.

Sorry about the snow tires. Yikes. I'm glad I live in the desert.

Adam said...

She only speaks the truth. I get little comments on my arms from my office mate quite often. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it.

nikoeternal.com said...

I think u're hideous and should be locked up in a secured area for the remainder of ur life with a bag over ur head! :-D

jalishouse.wordpress.com said...

Iknow exactly what you mean. When I'm complimented on a physical attribute, I'm almost hurt that my personality - my humor - my ME didn't shine through, and all they see is what I look like.

I'm happy with my appearance, but I want to be remembered for my heart.

Oh - she wants you.

Lewis said...

Oh, please.....I have a feeling that you LOVE the attention. So, cut the crap....we all get into people saying nice things to us.....And, by the way, your eyes are sexy!

nikoeternal.com said...

I think his left eye should be plucked out and stomped on by Beatrix Kiddo! Lemme stop, he's O.K. looking, for a 42 yr old. :-P

dawn said...

I think she's trying to sleep her way to an A!

And you are very handsome. But you do play a role in it, I mean you could not bathe or shave or look dashing. You have to really put a lot of effort into dashing.

Willym said...

The women you work with have great taste! And hey truth is truth - you can't have opinions about truth!

Lyvvie said...

See, now if you follow my advice and ask questions about the who and why, then you can find out the truth about what Dawn says about the tart trying to sleep her way to an A.

Laverne said...

Beauty is such a strange concept. When a man or woman is considered "Handsome" or "Beautiful," it's not always by everyone. Although, there is an accepted idea of what that is.

You are an attractive man and you know it. I wonder why others acknowledging that fact makes you uncomfortable?

And you know, there's more to your (or anyone else's) eyes than just the color.

Steven said...

Strangely enough, I'm like Serge.

Not with the 'looks' compliment (I'm not that good a liar), but with the 'clothes' compliment (do you think I want to go out in public, looking like crap on purpose?).

Sunshine said...

Serge cracks me up. LOL.

But like everyone has said, you are both good looking dudes. I'm sure you get just as many compliments from gay guys. :)

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

That thing she said that you didn't catch, was that her brother, Mr. Universe, was hoping to speed date you and Serge.
At least that's what I heard.

dirk.mancuso said...

LOL @ Serge.

And yes, you are a good looking man -- but it's the intelligence and wit that takes it to the next level. Face it, Torn...you got it going onnnnnnnnnnn.