Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Flatus mania

Just because I'm like this, I have to mention that I adored checking Daniel's link to a Wikipedia entry. Of course I read the whole thing. My favorite line was this:
Nerve endings in the rectum usually enable individuals to distinguish between flatus and feces, although loose stool can confuse the individual, occasionally resulting in accidental defecation. I bet we've all experienced being the "confused individual". But I love that there's a scientific explanation for how we "know" what's pressing at the door.

From that entry, I found out about Le Petomane, the fart maniac, who was a rave at the moulin rouge in Paris. His acts included singing the song La Marseillaise with his anus, and using his butthole for sound effects in skits and sketches. It's really cool that I found out about this guy because I can do that too. Breathe with the hole and suck stuff in and expel it. I even have witnesses. I'm sure I've written about it. Yes, I have. This guy made a living off of it. Can you imagine going out to see an anus act? What was that movie, I'm sure it was a John Waters film where a guy gets up, rips down his pants and buttlipsyncs Ba ba oo m ow m ow, ba ba oo m ow m ow. I think Divine was in it. What if Cirque du Soleil should think on this. It might fly in Vegas. Or maybe it's all so 100 years ago. Oh my, a thought just occurred to me. What if I'm the Petomane reincarnated? Drawn to a French speaking culture and writing about flatulence. Could be. Could be.

21 comments:

Snooze said...

this is great. I also read your old post that you linked to (I hadn't read it before) and just about died laughing.

Dantallion said...

Have you ever considered renaming this site to "Sticky Poo"?

dbv said...

call shirley maclaine, she could help you figure it out...

Ed said...

Those nerve endings can tell the difference between a tongue, a finger and a penis too! Rename this Blog: Stinky crows poop.
I think we need to see a video of this talented Anus.

Bob said...

Torn, I remember a list you prepared of things people don't know about you. One was that you disliked anal sex. Difficult to believe. Real difficult! :)

RoxRocks said...

Could be? I think you are, dude!

I was doing dishes yesterday and ripped one and laughed. I was alone. I thought to myself, "Torn would have enjoyed that!" And now, perhaps you have. :)

GayProf said...

Everybody needs a talent.

Cooper said...

I hadn't read that story before. I will never again think of M & M's in quite the same way. Neither did I know that women could fart with their vaginas. You're quite the educator, Torn. lol

bardelf said...

Such a talented anus you have, torn! Few people can admit to having a butthole that can suck stuff in and expel it.

I wonder if this makes Serge a lucky or unlucky man! LOL

lattégirl said...

HAHA! The other comments made me giggle... Sticky Poo, etc. I admit to participating in fart contests with my son... just to see who can let out the weirdest sounding one and make the other person laugh.

David said...

How proud your mother must be.

em said...

Oh my, a thought just occurred to me. What if I'm the Petomane reincarnated? Drawn to a French speaking culture and writing about flatulence. Could be. Could be.

This made me giggle. What a life that guy must have had. Hard to imagine.

Patricia said...

i implore you. lay off the niamakoudji juice, it's farting into your brain!

Mark in DE said...

I was just thinking yesterday "Haven't seen any poo/scat/fart references from Torn lately", and today: voila!

You wrote: "Can you imagine going out to see an anus act?" Not so unimagineable when you consider people are going out to see a penis act all the time. Ever heard of 'Puppetry of the Penis'? www.puppetryofthepenis.com. These two guys make a living out of making animals and other objects with their genitals. It became so popular they had to recruit and train addition 'puppeteers' in order to expand the show.

Mark

Curtis said...

What I especially enjoy reading about Le Petomane is:

There is a musical based on his life called The Fartiste which was awarded Best Musical at the 2006.

Can you imagine the auditions for such a thing?

Steven said...

Poo-ey post.

How I love them.

Lewis said...

I knew we couldn't go too long without an appropriate bodily function post. And, by the way, dont' you hate that when you miscalculate what is wanting out? "Clean panties,please...."

Patrick said...

The Flying Karamatov Brothers did a show about Le Petomane a few years back. I saw it when I still lived in Seattle, so it was more than twelve years ago. And I think this is in ADDITION to the musical that came out in 2006. Two plays about a performing farter.

The French loving Jerry Lewis starts to make more sense, doesn't it.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I was so hoping you would take off and do an inspired riff on this. Can't you tape a performance and post it?
Eager fans are waiting...

Truthspew said...

LOL - gas is funny stuff. Seriously. I get the humor of it and the SO tries to play like he doesn't either but I know he does.

I even know my system well enough to know what will produce the most odoriferous specimens.

Broccoli, beer and cheese. Good times!

Elizabeth McClung said...

Actually he had several acts, I have a few books/ephemeria on him - he could do "impressions" with anal sounds as well as national and other anthems. He also could drink a glass of water (through his anus) AND do impressions with his anus - I have to wonder how many years he spent on this. I also have to try and imagine someone doing a John Wayne anal impression.