I've been getting pretty chummy with one of my fellow English teachers. I'll call him Bob. You know how you meet someone and you find a lot of similarities in your characters so that you have an instant affinity for one another? It's like that with us. We ride together out to timbuktu to give lessons and we always talk easily and at length about various topics. Since his name has come up at home quite a bit lately, spouse asked, "are you sleeping with him?" I laughed and said, "oh yeah baby, long and hard." It's a little game we play, harmless. What was really charming later was when I was with Bob, riding up the escalator from a crowded metro station, and I relayed this little exchange to him. I said something like, "Spouse asked me if you were my new boyfriend," and Bob's face instantly smarted red. It was so cute, I bet he's not used to such talk in a public place since he's straight. I didn't mention it though.
Later that same afternoon, I mentioned the lottery jackpot that is so high this week. Bob asked me if I would quit immediately if I were to win and I responded that no, I would at least finish my present contracts. Money isn't going to rob me of my integrity.
I bought lottery tickets for the week so I could spend some of my time fantasizing about winning. This fun little game only works if you buy a ticket, and for me, that is where the value lies. For the fantasy. Still, as I was fantasizing yesterday, I couldn't really get into it because there really isn't anything I'm dying to have/do. I already go a little crazy at the end of my summers off, I can't imagine such idleness year round. Part of my fantasy involves distributing $100 bills to the homeless, but I can already do that if I just knock a couple zeros off. Sure, I could travel the world, buy a mansion, and hire people to pamper me, but these things don't have the allure they used to. And then it dawned on me. I'm happy. This is a wonderful thing to realize, that everything is just right, a perfect balance of work and leisure, of routine and vacation. I haven't checked my numbers yet this morning, but I feel like I've already won.