Tuesday, February 03, 2009

This little piggy...

What a strange day I had yesterday. Sunday evening was pleasant enough hanging out with the MIL and playing darts and eating yummy lasagne. I insisted on leaving a bit early since this is the HELL week with ten new classes. We got home around 9 and I checked my class folders, had a quick nightcap and was in bed by ten. The next thing I know it was after 6, I had forgotten to set the alarm and I had 45 minutes to get ready and go. Ugh. I went into the bathroom and there was blood all over the floor. I said, "What the hell?" as I peed the morning pee. Then I heard Serge stirring on the living room sofa. "What happened to you last night?" he called out. "What?" I responded. He then told me that I had woken him up with a combination of snoring and hiccups (I hate spelling it hiccoughs) the likes of which he had never seen. He seemed really irritated about how severe the snoring/hiccupping combination was, though of course I didn't remember any of that. Then he said he moved to the living room sofa to get some sleep and he woke up to a terrible commotion in the bathroom where I had apparently fallen down and was then peeing...... into the bathtub. This was all very confusing to me. I don't remember any of this and this would mean that this blood all over the floor was mine. I looked down at my feet and they looked fine. I felt no pain of any kind. Then I looked at the bottom of my right foot and there was a gash where my big toe is attached to the rest of the foot. Wow. That is some heavy duty sleepwalking I did there. Not only did I not wake up, but I felt no pain until I actually saw the wound. Only then did it start to hurt. You could see the trail of blood drops up to the bathtub where a sizable glob accumulated and then across the bathroom and across the bedroom floor. I felt unusually drowsy too, like I hadn't slept enough even though it was an ample 8 hours. Then the hiccups attacked me again in the morning in the shower, again in my first class and again in my second class. Each session of hiccups lasted about a half an hour. So strange! We got some good class time out of it though, everyone trotting out their rememdies and me playing guinea pig. I've decided that if you just ignore them, they'll go away on their own. They came back to visit several times in the evening as well.


Later, I made serge promise me that he would never let me go outside if he caught me sleepwalking. This is rather unnerving. What if I have a dream about stabbing someone and I sleepwalk it? I can't imagine a sleepwalking defense would hold up in court. Mostly I'm worried about hurting myself which in this case, I did.

I tried googling my way around to find if there were any relationships between sleepwalking and hiccups (doesn't seem to be) and came across an interesting tidbit. Digital rectal massage instantly halts the hiccups. I'm assuming by digital, they mean with a finger. I'm looking forward to testing this theory out (at home of course.)

19 comments:

"Just David!" said...

I can't vouch for that theory but with all the digital rectal massages I've gotten from the doctors lately, I haven't hiccupped in months!

Doug said...

Thankfully your students didn't come up with that one and ask you to try it out.

I hope the whole hiccups/sleepwalking thing passes and doesn't cause you or anyone else any harm.

Anonymous said...

Undoubtedly a case of demon possession.

franck said...

I watched some silly crime show on tv the other night, about a guy who killed his wife and claimed he was sleepwalking at the time. I didn't see the end of the program, so I can't tell you if he was convicted or not.

Roxrocks said...

That's bizarre behaviour, even from you! You need a sleep clinic or something!

Poor toe. Isn't it weird you didn't feel anything until you saw it?

A finger in the bum would make me stop a lot of things.

John said...

In Canada, sleepwalking would be a defense.
In the late 80's, a Toronto man drove 20 km to his in-laws, stabbed his mother-in-law to death and wounded his father-in-law.
Th legal defense was one of homicide during "noninsane automatism as part of a presumed episode of somnambulism".
He was acquitted by the jury. The Supreme Court agreed.

GayProf said...

Wow -- That is some deep sleepwalking. Just what is in that nightcap anyway?

David said...

That would completely freak me out.

Mel said...

Something about foot wounds, in particular, always makes me cringe. Which you might not expect given my line of work.

I used to do a bit of sleepwalking as a kid, but it's probably been a good 30 years, possibly since the time I sleepwalked (sleptwalked?) myself right off the top bunk. I was dreaming I woke up on the couch and nobody had woken me to go to bed, so imagine my suprise.

My default cure for hiccups is to drink a really big glass of water. Sometimes it takes a couple of them, but because you're holding your breath while swallowing, it helps to get the diaphragmatic spasms to settle down.

blahblahblah said...

It's the booze.

latt├ęgirl said...

That really doesn't sound good. First sleep-pooping, now sleep-self-injuring. I'd definitely ask the doctor about this.

Laverne said...

Dang, I want to know what was in that drink.

and is this hiccup thing new? That actually sounds painful to me. And, I didn't know one could hiccup in one's sleep. Weird.

David said...

You lead an odd, however charmed, life, young man.

I'm not a doctor, though I play one on TV (not really), but I would hop skip and jump to a sleep study.

dirkmancuso said...

That is some serious sleepwalking you did there, torn...

don said...

You are the male version of "The United States of Tara". Those multiple personalities keep kicking in and doing all kinds of damage.

Mark in DE said...

Wow, that's kind of scary. I wonder if the hiccups and sleepwalking might have been the result of anxiety over your pending 'Hell week'.

Let us know how that digital rectal massage works out!!!

anabel said...

Really, what was in that nightcap? Curious minds want to know.

evilganome said...

I have been led to believe that sleepwalking is related to anxiety, though a sleep center might not be a bad idea.

Thanks for the tip on what to do the next time I get the hiccups though! With any luck, I'll get some help on that one.

larry said...

i think stress can bring on sleepwalking. i wake myself up trying to scream from a bad dream! and the hiccups. i get them from more than a few drinks. holding your breath helps.