Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Just wrong

Okay, so you write about your life for a year, you pontificate, you try to be funny, clever, sentimental, and whacky. And you practice your writing, noting the things that work, and the things that don't. You dig on the whole "cadre of readers" you seem to have attracted. You are perhaps a little too fervently tending to the blog. No matter, the rewards seem to outweigh the teetering on the brink of obsession part.

And then you realize that much of your traffic results from Google searches. These three searches have come up more than once just in the past week:

How to make yourself faint. (This is the most common search that leads here.)

How to make perfect french fries.

Why do I have brown specks in my urine?

(Can I get an ewwww?)

36 comments:

CoffeeDog said...

What post sttracts the fainting thing?

urine? ewwwww

Lyvvie said...

Oh, how do you make perfect french fries??

Sunshine said...

Another big fat ewwwwwwww from me. :P

Snooze said...

I'm giving an "awww, poor soul" to the person with brown specks.

Chunks said...

I had one that googled "my husband + vagina"...what the hell was that all about, I wonder?!

The site meter is almost addicting as the blogging, seeing how people find you sometimes is disturbing. Good thing I have (basically) nothing to hide (read: live a boring life) it is amazingly easy to find someone. Creepy.

_Psycho said...

How do you know these results come from google ? You were doing google test ?

Steven said...

I get strange Google searches, too, and they're usually random words.

What is up with that?

St. Dickeybird said...

So by typing "brown specks in my urine", you're now guaranteed to be the number one link for those inquiries.
Congratulations.

nongirlfriend said...

Hey, at least it isn't "chicken fucking," which drives a HELL of a lot of people to my site.

Oh, and "aunt fucking" and "fuck your girlfriend."

Jeez, people!

Kalvin said...

Hey, I want to know the answers to these questions too. So strange how that all happens.

David said...

I found you from a comment you posted on another blog. And your cute picture. I've stayed for the content. And the fries.

Pete Mitchell said...

Ask and ye shall receive: ewwwwwwwwwww!

Some of those random searches are disturbing. I can't think of any off-hand but I've had a few that have made me look through my posts wondering "How the hell did THAT find me?"

And if it's any consolation, I found you through a comment on Patricia's (One of the world's greatest sweet-hearts) blog.

And I've used your french fry post. Post more food!!

The Persian said...

I think I am the only blogger I know that maybe gets one or two keyword hits a week. I just checked now and 1 google search brought someone to my blog and it was a friend that forgot the url.

I guess my subject matter is of little interest to people :)

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

Here's an eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww from Wisbo

Enjoy your blogging obsessive or not, it's supposed to be fun, right?

Ever amused by your musings

teh l4m3 said...

I am upset that your blog has not answered my question -- why are there brown specks in my urine?

Jason said...

I must have missed your post on brown things in the urine.

GayProf said...

I would imagine that you will soon be getting tons of hits for auto-fellatio based on your post a few days ago. It’s something for you to anticipate.

Many people come to blog looking for “straight men tricked into gay sex.” Instead, they get a post critiquing gay boys for being obsessed with straight men. So, go figure.

Finally, if I had brown specks in my urine, I would consult a doctor, not google. I am not saying, I am just saying.

tornwordo said...

Okay, I have an hour to kill before the next class. I have to check some blogs, but since there are questions above, I thought I'd answer a couple. (don't get used to that though, lol)

The fainting thing was from the November 16th post.

The perfect french fry recipe is on April 1st.

July 19th will take you to the brown speck urine post which is entitled "Scatty cat" Funny, it's on a Tuesday so that would have qualified for Childhood Trauma Tuesdays.

I think I should devise a special yoga class specifically for auto-fellatio. That's not a bad idea....

Anonymous said...

I echo David. I found you through a comment on Rox's blog and had to see who this gorgeous guy was. Stayed for the content. It was also right around the time of HNT and the 33 hour scarf. (How could I leave after that?!)

Not to worry how people find you - your blog is very interesting and you well-written. They will stay.

Jane

madamerouge said...

Tracking your pageloads can be bloody addictive--and revealing, as you demonstrate.

Someone left a comment about Jocelyn Wildenstein on my blog (the woman who has had so much plastic surgery, she looks almost feline) and presto! my blog was found in a Google search.

Now it'll probably happen to you!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Probably blood. Or a fistula to the alimentary canal.

Who knows?

Devlin said...

I use your french fry recipe all the time... and I tell all my friends...

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Oh, I have to find out about Google tests. And I'm really worried about the poor fellow with the brown specks. Not you, I hope?
D

ink said...

Ok - dumb question from a novice blogger here, but HOW do you find this stuff out???

And, for the record, I did NOT Google you. You very nicely left a comment on my blog, and I was hooked when I found out you were both a word-geek AND a knitter!

Oh ... I haven't tried the fry recipe yet, but it sounds excellent!

t said...

Search words used resulting in a stop to my blog used to be pretty respectable. Some search words are associated with Star Trek ("Neelix", "U.S.S. Defiant Toy"). And I've had a ton for "Res-Q 1250".
But with my last posting, I've sunk into the gutter.
Or toilet.
The last was a search for "fart".

Blonde Bitch said...

LOL cracks me up. I havent had anything near that interesting. I better get on the ball.

mainja said...

the word 'taboo' is in the title of my blog...

Rebekah said...

well, you know where I come from.

Way way back in the beginning...

dawn said...

So sue me if I have a question about my urine.

teh l4m3 said...

Oh, I figured it out (thanks, Google!): The brown specks are from all the boy-poop lodged in my urethra franklin.

Jason said...

teh: omg

epicurist said...

How does one find out what search words are used to get to your blog? Now I am curious.

Dantallion said...

Add my ewww, and perhaps the odd 'Ahhh' to the chorus.

D e s i g n Girl said...

You are not alone. Google searches that go to my blog are "Ground Hog Day" "Sock Chainletters" & "Common Knowledge".

Patricia said...

i think i prefer not to know some of the searches. i've never looked it up.

and psst, pete, the check's in the mail ;)

Freak Magnet said...

I love your blog. Especially that you update it often. Thank you for keeping me entertained.