Thursday, May 18, 2006

Maybe I should go back to doing HNT

A big reason that I can't really work for the man anymore is that I'm unable to filter information. And by filter information, I mean lie and be fake about things. (If you approach me and ask me if I can keep a secret, I will tell you, "No.") Well, can't isn't really the right word, because I can, that has been proven, but it so deeply bruises my soul (for lack of a better word) that I refuse to play that game any longer.

Being a contract worker where I decide which classes to teach, I'm pretty well insulated from the politics of the corporate milieux and exempt from the hellishness of sales and marketing.

Still, the sticky fingers of the white collar environment somtimes catch me, why just last week, I was reprimanded for having spoken about confidential information. What was that information? That a student dropped my class. Why was that confidential? Because it was the HR Director who had dropped the class. (wouldn't want my bad example to be known by the other employees, better try to muzzle the teacher.)

People I'm super wary of: Salesmen of any kind, Human Resources (anyone in the department), Politicians, lawyers, and even closeted people living double lives.

These kinds of jobs/situations require the candidate to lie about things depending on the audience.

I don't do that. And it's nothing about loyalty or integrity, it's just too stressful. So I won't ever make "the big bucks" because I can't "grow up" and reconcile with the man.

And that's just fine with me.

29 comments:

nongirlfriend said...

At least you're left with your integrity.

Snooze said...

If someone confides in me, I will tell no one what they've said, but I refuse to keep secrets that involve me. I had a fling with a married man once and I certainly told my friends about it - not his wife because that just seemed irrelevant and pointlessly cruel - but I won't keep my life secret. On the other hand, I have quite a few friends who have cheated on his/her spouse, and I would never say a word to others.

St. Dickeybird said...

It makes you a much better person to live with the honesty that you do.

After selling $1200 cellphones, I will never get into sales again. I felt my soul drain like a 16-yearold girl's motorola battery!

St. Dickeybird said...

Oh, and Snooze, we appreciate that you don't bust us.
Oh crap! I just did it, didn't I????

:)

Knottyboy said...

I hear ya on the whole closeted gay thing. I've had far to many "friends" toss me to the lions when it looked like they might be known as gay. Now I just kick them in the balls and say have a nice day. I feel better and they get some well deserved "action". It's all good.
kb

epicurist said...

I'm in agreement about the closeted gay and Sales People thing. Though they may have their reasons, they simply make me uncomfortable.

jjd said...

ahem. as a lawyer I resemble that remark! wait. I mean, technically speaking, lawyer's are officers of the court and therefore cannot lie. I'm just sayin'

Kalvin said...

Yeah, what's so bad about lawyers? They don't lie, they just present things very carefully. But I feel like you are avoiding HNT. I think your aversion to "the big bucks" shows exactly that you DON'T need to "grow up" anymore. I think it's admirable.

_Psycho said...

But you just posted a lie 2 posts below =P

Kevin said...

I'm here regardless what you post. Truth or lies.

HNT would just be frosting on the cake.

But it's nice to meet someone with a sense of integrity and sincerity that doesn't want something in return.

GayProf said...

Double-life closeted people suck.

On a side note, I never really understood what people learn when the go to college and major in Business. I hear somewhere along the line they have to take an ethics course, but it doesn’t seem to be particularly rigorous based on their later lives. I do, though, trust most people who major in Accounting. They seem to be fairly direct folk.

Dantallion said...

And that, dear Tornwordo, is the definition of taking the high road. Good for you.

The Persian said...

What is it about closeted people leading secretive lives that sits so uneasily with me. I actually get mad when I see these idiots online while their wives are wherever.

ink said...

I agree with you 100% about lying being far too stressful a way to live. I hardly ever lie directly, but I am frighteningly accomplished at not seeing and/or knowing some things.

Sometimes it can be harder to be honest with yourself than it is to be honest with other people. Sometimes it's the other way 'round, of course.

ink.

P.S. I'm still curious how you find out what searches people have used to get to your blog. Anyone out there able to explain?

Carrie said...

well that leaves you with integrity, which is a good thing.

but hnt is hot...so don't stop!

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

One BIG reason I left Corporate America, and even the city. Playing the game turns the player into a whore, inevitably(not to trash all the honest sex entertainment workers out there). I have no more involvement than I have to have.
Integrity is not jaded by experience, it is tempered into something far sterner, compassionate wisdom.

D

Rye said...

Does no one love us poor misunderstood lawyers ... of course not! And its because we're not misunderstood at all...:)

Jason said...

I like watching people's faces when I tell them the blatant truth in a situation where I'm expected to lie.

"Why didn't you go to that party?"
"I didn't feel like leaving the house when I got home."

barefoot_mistress said...

I cant work for de man either!

COme back to HNT we need more half nekkid men like you!

Polt said...

Integrity is a good thing.

Course, so is HNT...

I'm just sayin...

Pete Mitchell said...

True integrity and honesty is hard to come by. I've created more problems for myself in past jobs because I've known when I'm being B.S'd, and usually called the person on it. Leads to holding many jobs. And, cliched as it sounds, the worst person I ever worked for was a local politician. Worst piece of human filth you could ever step in. I still check the obits for his name every morning. There is no justice in the world.

dawn said...

I'm not sure what HNT has to do with integrity and not telling a lie, but I do think that if you took it to the appropriate nakedness level you could probably get rid of that pesky little job you're not liking.

Chunks said...

I wonder, Torn, if we would be friends in "real" life? All that honesty might get ugly. ("Does this make my ass look flat?" "Yes Chunks, it does." "Well fuck you." haha!) I like this about you, that you know yourself well enough to know what bruises your soul.

Donna said...

Integrity? What's that? I don't think I have any. I lie if it helps me get what I want, especially to the "man" machine. As a matter of fact, I get off on that stuff. But that's one of the things you love about me. Oh, of course I never lie to you.(cause I never need to)
I think we have both made more money in real estate than punching a clock anyway.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I admire your attitude. When you're 90 and rocking in your rocking chair, you'll be glad you never slaved for the man. You won't miss the money.

Lyvvie said...

And people wonder why I stare off into space when they tell me stuff. "I'm not listening lalalaaa." because I, too, cannot keep a secret.

I've had many folks say to me "Why did you tell so and so about what I said last week?!" "Uhm, I dunno, was it a secret?"

I'm a social nightmare. But they will gossip with me, so really it's their folly.

You just keep on being honest, but I'd think the telling that a student dropped your class, apart from their obvious absence to attest to the fact *duh*, but it's probably a violation of data protection and the school could get sued or something if the student thought you were...gossiping or slandering or whatever.

I've had to learn to be forceful and say "I can't say, don't ask me, go ask them yourself you big puss!" and that's why I have no frens. (My codeword was "FPAWW" which I will try and use in a sentence at least three times today and see if anyone notices.)

Patricia said...

i love that you strive to be authentic. it's one of the best things about you. and that list is already long.

Dantallion said...

Excellent post - I wanted to comment, but as I told Dickey (and indicated on my site) it was just too bloody long. So I posted about it.

Steven said...

Normally, I just change the names of places and people: Carbucks, NicDonalds, George Kush, Jeebus, etc.

Nobody can ever figure out what I'm talking about.