Spouse had a boo boo yesterday morning. He tried to avoid me knowing about the boo-boo but when I heard the shower go on at 7:30, I knew something was up. Normally, he doesn't shower until right before he has to go to work. It crossed my mind that perhaps he needed to go in early for something, so I went to the bathroom to ask him. When I opened the bathroom door, there he was standing next to the tub with his robe in his hand, rinsing the robe in the shower. He noticed me and immediately said sheepishly, "I made a pet-sauce." Pet is the word up here for fart. Then I started laughing helplessly because there was a spot on his thigh where the robe must have brushed against him after having sopped up the pet-sauce. "Ewww, you've got it on you! Just get in the shower for chrissakes," I roared. See now if I had made a pet-sauce, I would have marched in to wherever spouse was to show him. He, on the other hand, felt ashamed and was probably trying to avoid something like, oh I don't know, me posting on the topic. He's just lucky I didn't get the camera. I thought about it, but that might have ended up being a declaration of war.
Spouse's mom reads this and this is for her : (Please don't tell him you know about this!)
See, he never bothers to read the blog unless someone tells him about some salacious story or picture. I suppose that while I'm at this post I can go ahead and tell another funny story. This happened while I was in Vegas. Spouse sent me some pictures of himself naked that he had spliced into works of art, such as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The funny thing about the naked picture he used was that I had taken the picture and not told him about it. I think I mentioned it here, he was asleep on the couch, the sun was shining on him and though he had his robe on, it was open and his arm was hanging down. His goods were, what's a good word here, rather robust looking. Anyway, he must have found the pictures on my computer (easy to do, all pictures are sorted by month taken) and then had some fun with them.
The day after I had received the email, I noticed that other people were writing him to tell him how torrid and sexy the photos were that he had sent them. I was pretty shocked that he would send naked pictures of himself to family and friends. It seemed to me that maybe he had drunk a bit much and sent out the emails. I know I got mine at 2:30am. I mentioned to Laverne that I couldn't believe he had done that.
When I finally got him on the phone, he told me that NO, only I had received the naked pictures, everyone else got a PG version. I don't know why, but that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Still, it really would have been funnier if he'd drunkenly done that. Here's one of the PG versions. The x-rated version is now my computer wallpaper. (Daniel, please note ; )