Thursday, September 07, 2006

A brother!

It's the first day of a new class, and I've just finished my abridged version of the road to Montreal. It's now time to learn a bit about the three men in front of me. There's J, young, bright and studious looking telling us about his wife of four years and their new baby. The baby slept through the night after two weeks. Cluck cluck, lucky man. Next P talks about his life with his partner, he doesn't need no stinking marriage certificate, the kids know who their parents are. He's a man of his years, direct and to the point. Next we have S, married for 2 years, just bought a condo.

"Do you have any children yet, S?"

"No."

"Why not?" (I suddenly realize the indelicacy of the question, but too late it's already out of my mouth. Cut me some slack, it's 7:30 in the morning for chrissakes.)

"Because HE cannot have a baby."

"That's the best answer I've heard yet! Welcome to the class S."


(Btw, I dislike writing in the present tense.)

20 comments:

Lemuel said...

SO... when are you and Spouse gonna start a family? LOL! (I LOVED it!)

The Persian said...

LOL that was a great answer indeed!

Ed said...

He may not be able to have a baby but you don't have to stop trying.

Spider said...

Those early morning questions can be the death of you... loved his response - I see you are going to have a friend for the semester now!

Timmy said...

SNAP!

My mouth works faster than my brain in the morning too.

Sounds like an interested class!

Rebekah said...

Oh to dream...

a class of three students.

Adult students...

Anonymous said...

That sure straightens (no pun intended) things out.

-Jason (DJRed)

St. Dickeybird said...

When dating men, unenlightened people occasionally asked why I wasn't a dad.
I usually replied that "we tried, but everytime I stuffed the store-bought uterus into my butt, it kept falling out. He just couldn't get me pregnant!"

Kalvin said...

What kind of a class is this? And I'm envious of the size and students. I did love the answer. Although not entirely original, the timing truly makes it unique.

Knottyboy said...

My biggest faux pas is asking what people do for a living when I'm helping customers in the gallery. I really should change that, you can't imagine the goose-stepping-side-answers I've gotten.
More coffee? I'm sure another cup will clear things up.
Hugs,
kb

GayProf said...

All that aside, I still have no idea why anybody (queer or otherwise) wants to have a human-worm baby.

teh l4m3 said...

You know, I only occasionally realize just what a challenge it is to write in the present tense. But it can be a useful prose device, depending on what you're trying to do...

And yeah, I'm just getting to that age where almost all of my old classmates are married and have crotchlings. GAH, I'M SO OLD!!!

My best friend just had a baby day before yesterday, in fact...

dbv said...

that's funny !!!

Curtis said...

I was recently asked if I had any children, and I solemly stated that 'unfortunately, my spouse and I just CAN'T have children', and sort of hung my head with a sad look on my face.

The subject wasn't mentioned again.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Whoa. I just read your last post. I want to live there! You had me at "french fries."

nongirlfriend said...

Excellent answer! Kudos to that guy!

madamerouge said...

he could make a bum-baby
he just isn't trying hard enough

Freak Magnet said...

I offered a seat to a lady rubbing her belly on the train. She said, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I just have a big belly."

I'll never offer again.

dawn said...

Morning talking is always good times. The fact that you stand up in front of people and do it is amazing.

Steven said...

I know a couple of men who are total pussies, so there's hope for the male gender to bear children.