Friday, September 08, 2006

Snippets

* Why is it that the older we get, the more prudent we become? The logical behaviour would be to be more prudent when you are young, because you've got so much lifetime to lose.

* The tomato plant exploded with blossoms last week and now sports a dozen new baby tomatoes. I hope they get a move-on because the first frost is only a couple weeks away.

* I've always liked pop music. I have been informed more than once that this makes me a "musical retard", for lack of better words. It used to bother me, now I just think f&*% you.

* I'll take "depth of compassion" over "strength of conviction" anyday.

* In 75 years everyone you know and love will be dead (including yourself). My point? Stop taking everything so seriously.

* Here's why I'll never master gender in French. Vagina is masculine and beard is feminine.

* I'd like to add to the cultural fashion rules. In addition to white, flipflops are not to be worn after labor day.

* In related news, cracked, scaly heels are just gross.

* I have about as much interest in Tom's baby as I do for the mechanics of tampons.

* If the diversity of the human species is mirrored in other species, maybe that killer stingray was just (unluckily for Steve) schizophrenic.

* My favorite blog line this week came from Dirk. Re-installing the mother fucking programs, however, was harder than Woody Allen at an asian orphanage. I'll have you know Dirk, that this constitutes the highest form of flattery.

24 comments:

JoeL said...

The older you get, the less flexibile you are. Remember that trick you used to do?! lol

We get slower, joints get stiff. So we go to our own pace, hence the looking more cautious.

That Woody line was great!?

toobusyliving said...

And to make things eaier for everyone, how about just no flip flops. Ever.

Lemuel said...

You almost won the lottery this morning with your snippets. I'm reading down the list, saying "yep" to myself for nearly every one and chuckling at more than a few.

But I have one bone to pick this morning. I realize that you had no previous knowledge and therefore cannot be held accountable, but PLEASE NO ONE use the word "prudent" ever again! (LOL!)

I have a co-worker who uses "prudent" as every other word in a sentence. I do not think I have ever heard him speak a sentence without "prudent" in it. I cannot decide whether to strangle him or scream at the top of my lungs and run away.

So this morning as I read the snippets and saw the word... well, Torn, if you see a pair of hands coming at your throat... (Just kidding! Just kidding!)

BTW, a little tidbit of fascinating fact is that you, he, (and I) share a certain name in common. OMG! You are not my co-worker are you?!

AAuuugghhhh!!!!! ('nuther LOL!)

Joe said...

Curious though, given the gay slang meaning of "beard"

St. Dickeybird said...

As you think f&*% you, dance a bit. Pop music is wonderful.
French - very confusing!
And I've never read Dirk before, but that's a great line. I'm heading there now!

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how to keep track of gender either. The only way I used to remember it was by the way it sounds. Not a very good way.

-Jason.

Timmy said...

"It used to bother me, now I just think f&*% you."

hooray for you Torn.

I always liked pop music, pop culture, pop corn, pop cicles, and many more.

Rebekah said...

I so agree with the cracked, scaly heels.

However, what should I do to get rid of them? I already get pedicures every other week... put lotion on them every night and then socks before I go to bed, use the pumice stone every day when I shower...

And I drink tons of water. How to get rid of them? HOW? Someone tell me how!

(oh, and as a sidenote to that snippet, people with gross, fungus-infected toenails really shouldn't wear any sandals at all until they get that problem cleared up)

Doug said...

Vagina is masculine and beard is feminine.

I think this proves that French was invented by a lesbian who had a butch partner and lots of gay male friends who had wives to keep up appearances.

vuboq said...

I am totally in "agreeance" with TooBusyLiving on the flip-flop issue. Feet. *geh*

Anonymous said...

Flip flops should not only be banned after labour (you're in Canada now sweetie) day, but from anywhere outside of the beach or backyard. Same goes for Crocs. How can something so hideously ugly be so unbelieveably comfortable?

Normlr.

Anonymous said...

Rebekah: Please do NOT take this the wrong way, but have you tried Udderly Smooth?? It's cream that was originally developed for cow udders but is supposed to be amazing for calouses and cracked feet. Ok, I'll admit it, I have some at home and it's amazing. A lot of drug / department stores carry it now.

Normlr

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Dear lad, wearing flip flops all day allows the skin to dry out, causing cracked heels.
I wore flip flops all day once flying from Tucson to Toronto. By the time I arrived, I could barely walk. Dr. Scholls has some good stuff for that. But the real solution is to spend about an hour soaking, and go to work scraping with a dull knife. Not fun I know, but a fella pays a price to remain glamorous and exciting.

Ed said...

Should we really worry about wearing flip-flops and white after Labor (Labour) Day? It's like my local paper being filled with people complaing about their neighbors yards. If that is all they have to worry about they should think God and mind their own business. It wouldn't be Prudent to belittle others to make oneself feel better.

GayProf said...

Wow -- People have strong feelings about the flipflops issue.

As for music, I always think I have diverse tastes, but little knowledge. I listen to what I like and don't really care if it doesn't meet others' expectations.

David said...

Just as you respond in a certain way to people's criticism of your love of pop music, so do I to people's views on wearing flip flops. I will wear on my feet what I damn well please. Although I agree with the post-Labor (USA! USA!) Day belief and have retired mine to the closet until next summer. Whereupon I shall wear them at the beach, at the office, to the theater and over hill and dale.

dirk.mancuso said...

**kicks at dirk with one toe, hands in pockets** I'm super flattered to get a mention from one of my favorite bloggers. Thanks Torn.

And amen to Rebekah's sidenote to the flip-flop issue.

Patricia said...

white after labor day, socks with birkenstocks, singing badly to pop music.

i'm one ginormous geek.

Steven said...

Come on, tampons are fun!

They're more fun than adopted asian babies who wear blue contacts and a Ringo Starr wig.

Dantallion said...

You see? That's the difference between you and I. I find the mechanics of tampons infinitely more interesting than Tom, his baby, or the vessel that spawned it.

Spider said...

"I'll take "depth of compassion" over "strength of conviction" anyday." AMEN to this one!

Kalvin said...

I do love the Woody Allen comparison, and I love pop music too, and that doesn't mean you're a musical retard, it just IMO means you don't always want to have to think about your music and you'd rather just enjoy it.

Chunks said...

I was wearing flip flops today, but it is almost thirty degrees here and my newly softened and healed HEELS needed the fresh air! Labor/labour day be damned!

My zuchini plants sprouted a crop as well, just as I was about to rip them from the earth. Bizarre!

zooplah said...

Well, gender and sex are two different things. Gender (from the Latin genus, kind) is just a way of classifying nouns. The whys of gender make no sense and really the only way to learn them is to memorize the definite article with the noun: la barb, le vagina, etc. (I'm just guessing here, as I don't know French).

At least you're not learning German, which has three genders and four cases, as well as plurals that must be learned separately: learning that the plural of Mann (man) is Männer won't help you know that the plural of Tag (day) is Tage.