Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Damn, the saga continues

Boy, the SPCA doesn't mess around. Within two hours of me emailing them, someone was here for an inspection. They will be taking the cat if nude dancer doesn't show up by Friday. Since we are taking care of it for now, they don't need to "rescue" it. The poor thing cries all the time so I brought her down to meet Sara. They carefully inspected each other and no blood was shed. I think it went quite well. Mostly the cat just wanted petting. I would take the cat as a pet but spouse has been talking about a year free of animals for quite a while now, and I figure I should honor that. Sara is on her last legs anyway. Sniff.

We gave all our renters gift certificates to the market. We know of no other landlords who do this. I call it a goodwill expense that will pay itself off in friendly interactions with our tenants. I couldn't bring myself to include nude dancer though, even though I wish I were a big enough person to do something like that. But I can't get past the fact that the fucker owes us $725 and abandonned a cat.

Get this. Just now as I write this (4:30pm yesterday) a truck pulls into the yard and starts unloading a couch. Where could this be going? I go open my door and there is nude dancer in the stairwell. He comes into my apartment (at my insistence) and tells me he's been at the hospital for a week for serious depression, he broke up with his girlfriend a year ago and he should have his pay Thursday (the 21st, the end of the grace period according to the rental board) and he saw the notice from the SPCA and he would be cleaning up his apartment, and blah blah fucking horseshit. I gave him the cat food and litter that I bought and told him it was 10 bucks. I also told him that he should have called us about the cat, and he responded in the fake contriteness of an adolescent, "I know." (head bowed in "shame")

Then he said he had a new cellphone and left without giving me the number. I went up to his apartment and asked him for it in front of his moving friends. If you can't pay rent and you're laid up in the hospital, how do you get a new cellphone? (what I should have asked) It's probably a fake number anyway, him and his "rotted teeth" buddies howled when I left with the number. Then they left and nude dancer has not returned as of this morning. He was here maybe ten minutes in all. I guess we're the Man and they're sticking it to us. Sigh.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

He's going to slip up sometime and his butt will be yours, metaphorically speaking.

Jane said...

Nice of you to give the market vouchers!

Spider said...

Karma bites...

And the gift certificates were a very nice touch...

Anonymous said...

Cheers to you gents for presenting gift certificates to your tenants. Certificates for shopping at the market is such a great idea! I, too, would not have given one to nude dancer; there is no reason to 'reward' his behaviour.

That's excellent news about the SPCA. You've done a really wonderful thing in rescuing the cat. Bast (Egyptian cat goddess) will smile upon your household. : )

Nude dancer is certainly one slick con artist. I hope that you guys are rid of him soon.

Ed said...

Nude Dancer has found a nice guy that he can and does take every advantage of. Nowhere else could he find a patsy to put up with his shinanigans. Maybe you should have kept the key until he paid up. I think if all else fails I would spend what ever it takes to improve his apartment. If you make improvements, you have the right to raise the rent. Price the place out of his range. Find a renter in an upper class income. Perhaps an older lady. Just an idea.

Timmy said...

I want to be your tenant!

CoffeeDog said...

:: pout :: I want you guys to take the cat, though I do understand about wanting an animal free zone.

Anonymous said...

The certificates should give you great relations with your tenants.
Other than Nudie - isn't there any other way to evict this prick?

Polt said...

The gifts were a nice idea, all I get from MY landlord each year is a rent increase.

Why would he be moving in a new couch if he's not going to be there ever? CRAZY!

Man, I know this whole thing sucks for you, but I love the drama...its' better than a daily fix of soap operas. :)

HUGS...

Snooze said...

Maybe Spouse will bend about the kitty, but regardless, you did a great thing.

Doug said...

Dancer-boy is a total shit.

And you guys are so nice! Kitty is lucky to have moved into your building.

Anonymous said...

"rotted teeth" buddies? sounds like meth to me... makes me happy we only have snowbird renters to deal with... they pay up front and are usually in their late 60's or 70's... lol...

Patricia said...

i hope the cat finds a good and loving home.

i'm working on wishing good things for n.d. but i'm not there yet.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Perhaps if you give Kitty time to work her charm on Serge, he will relent.
Up to this point I might have considered Lap Dancer's behavior a manifestation of an extreme and troubled immaturity, but this smacks of planned, calculated cruelty and deceit. At this point he deserves some sort of legal penalty over and above the money he owes.
You're the LandLord from heaven, by the way.

Em said...

That poor guy. I know his behavior sucks, but imagine having to be him! Eventually you will be rid of him, but he will have a tougher time achieving the same relief.

GayProf said...

I have never had a landlord so nice! That is really exceptional to give the gift certificates.

What did the SPCA say about "Friday?" I mean, he can pop in and out, but that doesn't mean the cat is being treated well.

I also agree with DBV: Rotted teeth=meth.

teh l4m3 said...

Will the drama never end?

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just started reading your site and had to go back and catch myself up on the drama (great blog, BTW). I guess in Canada you can't just change the locks on him and not give him a key until he pays? My apartment complex did that to a neighbor of mine....just left a note on the door that $XYZ was owed and needed to be paid to have access to apartment. And I think that was like on the 5th of the month!!! Oh, and the cat thing... I think you're wonderful for helping the cat, but I HAVE to disagree with everyone telling you to try to get Serge to warm up to the cat. I'm sure that Sara was his baby and he needs time to grieve before "replacing" her. *HUGS*

dirk.mancuso said...

As always, the nerve of nude dancer leaves me slack jawed. What an ass. (And that is not meant as a compliment.)

I agree that the gift certificates were a really terrific gesture on your part.

Rey D said...

I think not having to deal with him anymore is worth the $750. Obviously he's a looser, and if he doesn't stick it to you a little now, he will stick it to you in a much bigger way in the future should you continue to have him around. Open a bottle of champagne and celebrate that he's a goner! (I assume he's really gone this time?)

David said...

Hopefully the "I'll have it by the 21st" is just another dodge and he'll have miscalculated and you can be rid of him. I lost all sympathy for him after the cat episode. The man is inhumane.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm just going to come out and ask you: Can the nude dancer just pay you guys off in nude dances?

Win/win.

Katrocket said...

This is a most fascinating saga to me, though it must suck for you as a landlord. I once had a roommate that sounds a lot like nude dancer - excuses excuses...don't back down on your plot to evict! There are too many people out there who are without honour.

I found you through Coffeedog's Doghouse and I really love your writing so I'll see you around!

Donna said...

she has dyspasia? get the drugs, they work great!
i give my tenants $100 off january rent (total), they love it, and say no one has ever given them anything. imagine that, we make so much money off them and most people can't be bothered to give them anything. good for you, try to rise above the usual...we would expect nothing else from both of you!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you've made it! You're The Man. That's big time stuff.

You should point out that there are ways that you can arrange for his trip to the hospital to last longer next time. The Man can make things happen.

Ra said...

Howdy mate very nice of you with the gift certificates but as far as nude dancer goes he is full of shit and is just using you think of yourselves and kick his ass to the curb you can easily find someone much better to move in

Spouse said...

Ok, my little tiny brain.. pops!
Fuck la "Rental Board" on the 22nd we change the code on his lock. Bring us to court if you want to. By that time we will have go to the RĂ©gie anyway....
But wait! another idea...oops here's another one...but if...and if...
I am dying for him to go. That is my final statement.
Let's think about our contract we've talked about....

Alex said...

I knew it was meth.

Meth addicts are psychotic when they're on it and delusional when they come down. You can't treat them like other drug-users, like coke heads or pot heads. It's really bad, if you don't know this. Hopefully you do. I lived in LA for a while and had a terrible experience with a roommate who became a meth addict. There was nothing he wouldn't do. Be careful with any financial mail of yours coming into the building, the locks on the mailboxes and so on. I'm not kidding. Meth addicts are the kings of identity theft.

madamerouge said...

omg
OMG

Seekeronos said...

SPCA showed up in under two hours? Yikes, these guys must be former Special Forces commandos or something.... :P

Glad to hear the kitty is in a better place.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you're going through all this crap over the holidays.