Wednesday, December 20, 2006

This n that

I gave my last classes of the year yesterday. Normally, I would fully rejoice at the upcoming two and a half weeks of off time, but I'm afraid of the tendency to fester about things when I have too much time on my hands. Especially when there are things to fester about. I'm working on keeping everything in perspective, it's only money after all, and I know that we will get through this and come out the other side with a learning experience worthy of any lost money. In the meantime, it's peanut butter and jelly for lunch, soup and baguette for dinner. Thankfully, I like those meals.

I spoke with beloved relatives yesterday, a conversation spirited by martinis on both ends of the line. I laughed a good deal. In the end, I was told to quit whining and to look at the whole learning experience angle of this. I pointed out that I didn't like what I was learning, to whit, you can't trust anybody. It's hard to love and distrust at the same time. I know there must be a way, but it seems like you have to kill a part of yourself off to do it. (Quit your whining!, lol)

Spouse and I decided that we are not going to give each other gifts this year, but we are going to go to a spa next week, him for a massage, me for a pedicure. After all, things don't matter, experiences do.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I loved reading your last line! Had we/I only learned that lesson many years ago. We've now got a house full of STUFF that no one else wants and we're lacking wonderful memories from those experiences that we never had.

Share the experience and the joy with Spouse! Forget the "things"! [and the things you might fester about!]

dan said...

Allo,

C'est quand ça la semaine prochaine pour le spa ?

N'oubliez mon party le 29 !!!! Comme vous avez oublié ma fête hier !!!;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm big on the experiences over things comment.

Spider said...

Experiences are the things that memories are made of - you both go and have a relaxing time...

Timmy said...

you said it! Cheers!

Kevin said...

Good for you. Go relax. You need it.

Snooze said...

Families are great. Only they can say something like 'quit whining' and you don't want to kill them. [for the record, I don't think you're whining. You have every reason to be upset]

Anonymous said...

Brilliant idea about the spa. Being pampered for a few hours sounds like the perfect tonic for releasing some of the stress you guys have been under.

Bodywork, laughter and martinis -- hey, life is good, man!

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Normally I might suggest going to one of those "special" massage therapists, like Mike Jones, but then you might encounter Little Twink Lap Dancer, and wouldn't that be a bad surprise!

Take extravagant joy in each other this year. It will be a Christmas to remember.

Em said...

No, that isn't what you are learning, silly. You're learning to let go!

GayProf said...

I am confused. You family is advising that you should love and trust the stripper? No, man, I can't get behind that. That's a formula for an abusive relationship.

You didn't come into this situation thinking that you were going to be screwed over. Stripper has played on your better instincts and abused your trust. People who do these things think only of their own immediate satisfaction. They are selfish, greedy, and mean. It should make you angry. That's a valid response.

Obviously, tough, one can't let the anger take over your life. Nor does it mean that every person is going to be just like the Stripper (therefore, there is no reason to assume that you can't trust anybody -- that's presuming that everybody is just like the stripper, which they are not). There is a difference between having perspective on your anger and totally denying your true feelings.

Eh -- What do I know?

Enjoy the time at the spa. It will make you feel much better, I am sure.

David said...

If you want to incorporate the "learning" aspect into things, then you should each take notes on the spa experience, and then at home, spouse can give you a massage and you can give him a pedicure, or at least a nice foot rub.

Patricia said...

being one to over analyze things, i can relate to your festering, as you called it.

i hope you'll take this lovely break to do things to refresh your soul. you are so amazingly gifted at noticing the details of an experience. whether it be the water display at the grocery store or the red doors along your path.

allow your senses to be nourished with things that will help you feel intensely satisfied. linger over a stronger cup of coffee, simmer some spices on the stove to create a lovely aroma, spend an afternoon snuggling with sara, just talking to her. anything that gets your juices flowing.

this coming from someone who has huge trust issues. and the same someone who is slowly learning to believe... it'll all be okay.

dirk.mancuso said...

I've never had peanut butter and jelly even though I always mean to try it.

Hope you and Serge enjoy your pampering at the spa!

Anonymous said...

I don't know that you can't trust anyone, but I'd probably be leery of nude dancers in the future. That is a lesson we all have to learn, you're lucky your's didn't involve an outbreak of crabs or some other teaching tool. Ha!

Have fun at the spa, you deserve it.

CoffeeDog said...

You are right - things do not matter, experiences do!

Rebekah said...

I'm so guessing the beloved relative was your father who told you to "quit whining." Did he throw in a "Why choose unhappiness?" too?

And you know, you can trust me.


Just sayin'

Enemy of the Republic said...

Good last line--nicely put. I finished my classes and turned in my grades yesterday, and already I am getting rude emails, and this is from students with good grades.

One day I wouldn't mind doing that couples massage, but my husband would fall asleep and snore. Enjoy your holiday.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Go ahead and whine. That's what blogs are for. Hating and whining.

seekeronos said...

Hmmm. A spa treatment... well thought out.

I'll have to remember that for me and mine for next year. :)

Donna said...

i'm sure i told you you can't trust anybody at least 15 years ago.........especially me!!

Anonymous said...

I'm giving away gift certificates to spas/massages this year. It's something people rarely buy for themselves.