Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Rainy days and Mondays

Sometimes being depressed has a sweetness to it, nudging one into reverie and if you really let go into, you can cry the cry of a thousand people. Who knows why some days you wake up knowing it's going to be a fabulous day and others just the opposite. Sometimes it's circumstances, what's happening in your life, but other times it must be hormonal or depending on your hippie quotient, chakras or some such thing. The flu would certainly do it too. But there is also a different kind of depression (maybe it's melancholy?), a cloak of blue that descends upon a person, and if the person opens up, lets go, accepts the sadness, then the merest smile, or the slightest expression of kindness will send a person into tears. (I'd like to report a run-on sentence) There seems to be a common well from which all emotions stem and once you really get down in there, they tend to all come out at once.

Have you ever seen someone laugh and cry at the same time? I mean cry crying, not because you're laughing crying. It's a trip to see that, lemme tell you. I have not done it myself. I have cried and been angry at the same time though.

Yesterday was a blue day. The dog was sick and threw up white. White is not the correct color of vomit, I'm fairly sure. Of course nude dancer (toujours absent) is on my mind, and I had some enraged paranoid fantasy that he poisoned our dog. My cheeks turned red even. And then I caught myself and began to laugh at how ridiculous my mind works and then started to cry a little. (Not at the same time, please note.) And I thought about Jill, how her day must be, and I cried a little more. It felt good to be sad in that way.

Sometimes it feels good to just feel.

25 comments:

Jane said...

We all need a little cry once in a while - no matter what prompts it.

dan said...

Allo,

Sara ne vas pas bien ?

C'est bizarre, moi aussi je suis un peu déprimé aujourd'hui.
Je ne serai pas à Mtl cette fin de semaine, je reste au camp...travail!

Je téléphonerai cette semaine, merci pour ta carte de Nöel!

A+

dan

The Lone Rangers said...

Sometimes things just pile up and you have to let them out!! Hope you feel better torn!

Also the correct color for dog vomit is yellow..the white worries me...

Anonymous said...

I am most amazed at people who cannot feel, who are not moved by the events of life. Fortunately or unfortunately, I am at the far other side of that spectrum, but somehow, not to feel, not to be moved seems "unhuman" to me.

Timmy said...

doggies throw up white when they have acid reflux.....give him a tagament (sp) - serious!

CoffeeDog said...

Hmmm, two posts about laughing and crying, there's meaning to that somehwere I am sure.

I have laughed and then cried, and it always freaks me out. You are right, emotions do come from the same well.

If you have to cry, let it pour I say.

Spider said...

"Sometimes it feels good to just feel." How true is this...

St. Dickeybird said...

Sometimes I wish I could cry.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

I felt tearful reading this post

Anonymous said...

Crying is a god way to relieve stress.

I was in a low time in my life and I went to see a thai movie 'Nang Nak' I cried toward the end and leaving the theater feeling better because of it.

Jason said...

I secretly like movies that make me cry.

Rebekah said...

Tears can be such a release...sometimes there really isn't anything to say.

All my tears are cried alone though. Unless you count the Wonder Dog, but he barks at me if I start sobbing.

Anonymous said...

What's worse is when you really feel like you need to, but you just can't bring yourself to start sobbing. Funny how we can stop ourselves from doing the very things we need to do.

I'm sorry to hear about Jill. How awful - especially just before christmas.

Anonymous said...

Was it foamy white? Was there a lot of it? Did she eat? What about her urine? Did she pee and poop the same? How is she today?

In the same way you are obsessed with the proper use of the english language and sentence structure, I am obsessed about the dog.

This post made a tear pour down my face, to think that you are sad makes me sad. I'm on the verge of a blue day, but I have been putting it off. Oh, and I've often laughed while crying. It's usually when I get to the ugly part of the crying and I think to myself "Oh no, you are at the ugly cry stage" which makes me laugh. I think I need a good sob, just to relieve the stress of this whole month.

Snooze said...

I missed your post from yesterday. Sometimes the sadness in life does get completely overwhelming. I'm all for a good cry.

Anonymous said...

Sorry that you're blue. I hope the puppy's illness isn't too serious and that Jill's chemo treatments help her - sounds like they've kept up on her and early detection is a good thing.

David said...

I've laugh-cried. It's physically jarring.

Patricia said...

the most jarring of all crying to me is when i sometimes wake up sobbing. and yes, i just admitted that to the world. it's happened 2 or 3 times and it's the most unnerving thing in the world because it can't remember a bad dream or a negative memory, i just wake up literally sobbing.
*shudder*
but then, i've been far too tapped into the whole emotional well for most of my life. it's exhausting. however, nothing - nothing - instills trust more than a person willing to cry in front of another. there is something so comforting and so vulnerable.
ah, yes, you touched a nerve :)

dawn said...

Yes, we've all had those days where you know that it is just a matter of time before someone does something, usually the tiniest thing in the world, and then you will be huddled on the floor crying.

Somtimes it's easier to just huddle and not wait for something to cue your crying - beat the world to the punch.

GayProf said...

I can't think of a time when I laughed-cried. Certainly, though, the burning anger mixed with painful sadness crying comes to mind.

Given the cycle with your loser tenant, it's not surprising that you would have a certain ennui that, in turn, would lead to sadness. Spending some time just crying can be therapeutic.

Drink something warm.

teh l4m3 said...

Okay, I've seen dog vomit as white... Usually when they've eaten something they shouldn't have, like a bone fragment or something... But if you think you should go to the vet, by all means...

And back to the nude dancer: what gives? Is it meth/crank?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I laughed and cried at the same time just today.

madamerouge said...

I've laughed and cried simultaneously; in addition, one of the strongest O's I ever had was accompanied by crying.

anabel said...

Interesting that you've brought up the laughing/crying thing. It's been happeneong to me quite a bit lately. I'm just getting used to admitting feelings and can't seem to not cry while doing it.

I'm usually with em and either I start laughing or she does which gets me going.

It feels incredibly freeing.

Doug said...

One reason I like sad movies is for the cathartic release, that extra nudge that lets my emotions out. It is an experience to be enjoyed, in a wierd way. I eat some comfort food, put on some comfortable clothes, and cuddle up and enjoy the tears.