Wednesday, December 13, 2006

This 'n that

Last night, spouse and I had THE talk about the dog. Spouse wants to prevent any suffering, while I want to wait until she can't shit on her own anymore. This time seems near. But near and now are two different things. I'll keep you posted. (whether you like it or not)

I'm off today. The semester is coming to a close and though I have scads of paperwork to do, it can be done in my robe. Also, I'm calling the locksmith to schedule the lock change of nude dancer's apt. on Friday. He'll have to contact us to get the new key. (And I'll be able to check on his cat.) This whole story is getting boring and repetetive, I know, but that's how life is - up and down, in and out, exciting and boring.

Yesterday I passed by a restaurant called "Derriere les Fagots". I swear. They even have a website. I'd be a little wary of the brown sauce, ba dum dum chh.

27 comments:

farmboyz said...

I'm hearing that phrase "Let it go", and it's applied to both dog and dancer. Actually, you have the essence of a perfect short story there.

Christopher said...

I lost my beloved Golden Retriever a year ago. She was with us for 16 years and 4 months. Sadly, cancer swept through her body and she was unable to eat or perform bodily functions.

That day was one of the worst days in my life. I don't do "God" very well and had always assumed Brenda would just pass away one day in he sleep.

Please make sure you have a compassionate vet help you through any decision you make, if that day arises.

Also, my partner and I were with Brenda when they took her pain and suffering away. Some people find being there too painful and I understand this totally, but she was my best pal for nearly 17 years and I had to be with her at the end of her life.

Good luck to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you with the dog. I've been there twice before. I tend to be with you on this one, although I do not like to see those I love suffer. ...and I hope you do keep us posted.

Go for the lock, check the cat, and by all means have you camera ready to make a vid of nude dancer's reaction when he comes for the new key!

I will have to check out that restaurant! I'll just listen for the top hat.

Timmy said...

I'd have to steer clear of that place!

Best wishes for the little one...

Anonymous said...

You've got a tough decision with your dog. My parents kept our family dog alive for years longer than we should have. I think they feel guilty now.

And you HAVE to try that restaurant!

Kevin said...

Did you pull right in to the restaurant for dinner? Sometimes it's fun to eat out.

Anonymous said...

"derriere les fagots" sounds fine, as long as they shower first! (Ba dum....)

Sorry about Sara; in my experience you'll know when the time is right - and it's good that you've drawn a line at her suffering. I've seen lots of people keep dogs that are ill or in pain around too long only because they weren't prepared themselves to say goodbye.

seekeronos said...

Hmmm. In three parts, all in "D":

Dog - man, that sucks even having to come to that decision. It is part of the bummer about the human lifespan exceeding the canine by a rather large margin. I agree with (your) spouse though... better to end his suffering with the vet's gentle touch.

Dancer - why you haven't already changed his lock and had his gear parked out on the curve is beyond my comprehension, or perhaps the rent board gives him way more latitude than I would think was allowable. Or you are just incredibly patient - kudos to you for that.

Derriere - I'm a bit rusty on my French to say the least. Does the word have the same meaning as it is euphemistically used in the US to mean "butt"? I mean, "Bundle Butt" would sound very funny in English, but I gues there is some special meaning in French. All aside, it looks like a rather classy place where one could dump a month's paycheck into some artistically arranged snack food, and the (presumed) owner, Ghislain Charon, has a striking resemblance to Nick Lachey.

Polt said...

If your life is getting enough ins and outs and ups and downs, it should be more exciting than boring. :)

Brown sauce...bwahahahahaah!!!

HUGS...

Anonymous said...

Just be sure that if you go there and order a Bloody Mary or Margarita that you ask for your cocktail "with no rim."

(Some people might get this dumb joke.....prob. not)

Snooze said...

Ah, what a difficult talk to have, but it's great that you and spouse are discussing how to handle Sara's decline. *hugs*

Rebekah said...

Oh man...

Is she suffering? or just getting old? I thought that she wasn't moving as quickly as before, arthritis and all, but is she in pain?

To me, that's the big difference. If she's still eating and wagging her tail and liking your hands...

I think I'd be more with you on this.

I'm so sorry it's happening.

Anonymous said...

Gosh - I'm sorry about the dog. I know that's hard -- went through that earlier this year myself. Probably waited a little bit late for me, but that's what spouse wanted/needed.

I'm SO sorry...

GayProf said...

I am with Rebekah. If Sarah is just slower and sleeping more, but not in pain and still happy, I wouldn't rush it. I would just make her as comfortable as possible.

The dancer story is neither boring nor repetitive because it is one of the more important and frustrating things in your life right now. If you can't vent on your blog, where can you?

Anonymous said...

Oh god, the dreaded vet visit. I've put down several of my babies this way. Always when the pain or suffering was preventing quality of life. Hugs hon.

The queen's bottom? Holy merde.
kb

Ed said...

My parents owned a Boston Terrier named Chipper. When he became old, he went blind. He often ran into stuff but got around pretty well. Then he developed cysts all over his body and the Vet said he had Cancer. It was clear he was in pain. I took him to have him put down and he was shaking all over, I could tell he was scared. I brought him back home and he died a few a days later. I think he wanted to die at home surrounded by his family. I know I would rather die around family and friends than in a strange place.

Anonymous said...

Will your dog get to see Xmas? I know I shouldn't pile on any more emotion/guilt/stress etc... into the equation.

Patricia said...

having control over this most important decision is both a humane and a devastating part of the life of loving a dog. everyone pulls out their stories when you mention it because they live with us forever. but it's a devastating decision process nonetheless. i am with others who put the deciding factor at pain that cannot be medicated. my dog was on arthritis pills the last couple years of his life and was tremendously energetic and seemed very happy. but at the point where the line was crossed into pain, i knew i had to make the decision for him because of my great love for him. you may never have a moment of absolute clarity for knowing sara's needs but i believe a combination of your heart and gut will tell you when it's time to help her go. i'm sorry it's your time to have to deal with this, and i hope you find clarity and peace in making your decision. hugs.

S. said...

I can't imagine what it will be like when that day comes for Joel and I and our babies (the dogs not the kids). Hang in there.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

So sorry to hear of your beloved dog's health crisis. I'm glad that you and Serge are tsalking about it, though, so you can act in unity to help her in whatever way is best.
As to the restaurant, even though I totally adore the scatalogical suggestiveness of the name, there was a saying when I was a child, "There's a negro behind the woodpile", meant to suggest that someone had been playing with someone with whom they should not have been playing.

Sister Staceypatrick said...

I just literally went through this when The Good Father and I put our eldest cat down last Monday. She was in pain and could hardly eat, though she seemed to look quite fine and still cuddled, purred and the usual cat stuff. Granted it was the drugs most of all that were keeping her that way.

That said neither of us really wanted to come home and find her gone. After talking to the vet and receiving the diagnosis of a very aggressive and fast-moving form of cancer, we agreed to end her suffering while she was still relatively happy though not healthy anymore. I know this might sound cruel, but in hindsight I'm glad we did what we did for Tasha because we really would only have been keeping her alive for our sake and not hers. We could have dopped her up for another few weeks on serious pain killers and force fed her, but what quality of life is that for anyone?

It's a tough call, I know. It was a hard decission to make and I miss her terribly (as do our other two cats), but we know she is now out of pain and romping fields of catnip in her own little corner of whatever afterlife cats enjoy.

My heart goes out to you. This is probably the hardest call to make on a furry family member's life. And since you can't ask them how they feel about it, you just kind of have to figure how you would likely feel in the same position. That's the way I tried to look at it anyway. I hope you're okay and a gihugeous mental hug from me!

David said...

That was so bad it was good.

I let me cat die at home, but she was able to take care of herself for the most part up until the end. Tough call.

dawn said...

Between the dog talk and the nude dancer lock-changing it really sounds like a load of fun in your house right now. I hope everything works out well.

Also, I went to the website. Another language. But you gotta hand it to them - the Derriere les Fagots sure do have a good eye for design.

Anonymous said...

I read this this morning and thought I would know what to say later. Later is here and I still don't know what to say. The decision is the second hardest part. Saying goodbye is the hardest. You will know in your heart when it is right. You will. That doesn't mean it won't be hard though. We are here for you. Those who've been there know the pain you are about to experience with saying goodbye to such a faithful and sweet companion. Big hugs to you and Serge. And to Sara too.

David said...

Someone passed this on to me. Sad it is, but I did help.

*********************************

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for that kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you should have me learn.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when you footsteps falls upon my waiting ears.

Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.

Keep my pan filled with water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, so I can stay well; to romp and play and do your bidding; to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with my last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.

Donna said...

as someone who has been through this 3 times, and as a "dog person" i have some criteria for...the end.
#1 peeing on her own?? a dribble is ok but big puddles upset them and you.
#2 pooping "whenever"? also a big problem mentally and physically.
#3 mental fnctions? some animals seem to leave mentally near the end also.
whatever you decide, any of the big three would seem to justify ...the end, just please go together, maybe see if you can pay more and have the vet come to you. i was only able to do that once but it was truly beautiful and MUCH less stressful (for the pet) than going to the vet. Buddha had a nice juicy steak before! (why not???)you are a planner, i know you both will plan it well

Anonymous said...

i had the same thing with my dog... she was 18... my vet said when she started hiding and looking for a place to die, it would be time... that's what she did... it was heartbreaking but the best thing for her... i still have her baby... he's 10 now... and her ashes are in an urn, so i still have a little of her too...