Sunday, February 10, 2008

Avoiding discord

We drove out to MIL's house yesterday. As you can see, the snow is ridiculous this year, with snowbanks everywhere you go. Apparently, we're having one of the snowiest years on record. I've been here seven years, but this is the first where I've stopped and thought, "What the hell am I doing here?" I figure this will just make the dawn of spring that much more special. Spring. I can't wait. It'll be awhile though, as it snows into April up here.

Usually, I'm the one who drives when we go somewhere, but lately, Serge has been the alpha male, announcing "I'm Driving!" before we take off. This is fine by me, because I then call, "I get to choose the music!" Anyway, I have to admit, Serge is a better driver than I am. My own mother told me this as well last summer. Apparently, I'm too "jerky" when I drive. This is a trick I learned driving in LA. If you put on your flasher to indicate your desire to change a lane, most times, this is taken as a cue for the driver in the destination lane to speed up and prevent you from switching. So I learned this trick. Jerk the wheel just a bit as though to change lanes and watch the other driver slam on their brakes and honk. Then slide into the spot the other driver just gave you. Also, I tend to be a "speed up so you can slow down" kind of driver, most times in the act of accelerating or braking. Serge tends to get a nice even slow-as-you-go rhythm. When I drive, Serge is always commenting on screeching about every manoeuvre I make. This usually ratchets up the discord in the vehicle. Yesterday, he asked me, "Am I driving too fast?" and I said, "I'm paying no attention to your driving." This is a much better dynamic in the vehicle, so I think we'll keep it this way.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the way you guys work things out. That's what love is all about. We've had less snow than usual and NYC said this is the first year in memory they've had no snow. I guess we know where it all went. I hope I never drive near you, Richard, please let Serge drive. I hate being honked at in fact I hate to even her a horn becuae I think everyone thinks I did it. Have a nice Sunday you two. Ed

Brett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brechi said...

haha - I agree with the above. You guys are inspirational. I love "I'm paying no attention to your driving."

lattégirl said...

You can't really call snow ridiculous, you know.

Heavy, yes, insane, yes. But not ridiculous.

lattégirl said...

PS: Have a nice Sunday.

CoffeeDog said...

LOL, too funny. Mrs Coffeedog is a jerky driver, but not for the same reasons you are. She is just a spaz.

What I hate about driving is when I am on the highway, I make sure to leave a safe distance between me and the car ahead of me. Many people think this is a space for them to squeeze into, so when they cut me off, now I am not keeping my safe distance anymore, and I have to brake and slow down to get it back. The along comes the next jerk who squeezes in. Maddening I tell ya.

Java said...

Oh, Richard, PLEASE let Serge drive. This sounds like the best arrangement. I am a professional driver and things like this matter to me more than they otherwise might. Do me a favor- thank Serge for me. I commend him for taking the wheel.

RoxRocks said...

Impressive banks. I need to take my camera outside today now that it's a balmy -23 out so I can get some snow shots.

Derwood and I have driving issues too. That's why we have separate vehicles now. :o)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

"Apparently, I'm too "jerky" when I drive."

Sometimes, you're just too jerky, period.

I kid, I kid.

Enjoy the snow in April.

Summer said...

Sounds like you make a better passenger than driver. :)

Adam said...

Same thing here. Brad criticizes every move I make and he thinks I am not aware that other cars are on the road. Truth is that I am a better driver than he is. Since we've been together he's run into 3 stationary objects while driving and I have never done anything like that. I usually remind him of that fact when he's backseat driving and the comments stop immediately.

birdoparadise said...

Hubby is allowed to make all the comments and warnings he wants up to the stop sign at the end of the street (two houses' worth). After that, he may comment only if our lives are endangered. He says it works for him because he gets to give me the benefit of his great wisdom; and I don't go nuts trying to figure out what he is going to find wrong next while we travel. (BTW, this from a guy who went to traffic court for having too many speeding tickets. Me? Two in a lifetime, 30 years apart.)

We can laugh about it instead of argue, and that is the way to live together happily. You've found what works for you, too. Way to go, guys.

RJ March said...

Oh, God. I am the worst passenger ever these days, and if R could read my thoughts about his driving while he was driving, he would reach over, open the door and push me out-- driving 90 miles an hour. And I'd probably deserve it.

bardelf said...

I often jerk, but not when driving. ; )

You're having one of the coldest, snowiest winters ever in Quebec, and here in NC we are having one of the most abnormally warm ones ever.

Chicken said...

My mom is a jerky driver, but it didn't come from driving in L.A. I don't know where it came from, but I get slightly ill when I ride anywhere with her.

truthspew said...

I had to laugh when you wrote about the 'jerk'. You'd have no problem driving in RI either. You almost have to do the same thing here.

I am a lead foot, always have been and always will be. But I'm smart about it. I know where the cops hide.

As to my style of driving, I'm a smooth driver. Nothing really rattles me at all. But then I've been driving on and off for 27 years.

However being a RI driver means I have certain behaviors that you just don't see everywhere. For instance there's the Rhode Island Slide. When sitting at an intersection and nobody lets you out you just start sliding into it. That's enough for someone to actually stop and let you through.

I did that recently in North Carolina. My MIL wasn't too pleased.

David said...

Would it be mean to say it was 74 here in the sunny, LA area?

Okay, I won't mention it.

But it was.

David said...

No offense, but I also vote for Serge as the DD.

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I can't understand why anyone would choose to drive when he didn't have to. Even though my partner is a terrible driver, I always let him drive and never say anything (except for the time he insisted on driving from London to Cornwall even though he'd never driven on the left side of the road before, and then I only commented when he was about to actually run into things, and I soon stopped even then because he ran into them even after I warned him) because when I drive, he's constantly nervous and critical. If it's that important to him, he can have the wheel, and I can have a nap.

Marc said...

Maybe we should start the North Amercian Jerky Driver Association. At least I no longer drive a stick shift--I was merciless back then.
I found you through Java's blog. I've had two alternate scenarios for my life. In one I move to Caracas with a man names Raul, in the other, to Montreal with a man named Serge. So I guess I'll live out that scenario vicariously through you.

farmboyz said...

C drives, and more because he hates my driving. I get distracted by things I see passing, and cannot be bothered to look at the road. But, he also controls the radio or the CD. I sleep.