Tuesday, February 19, 2008

On the mend

I will not blog about my ailments. I will not blog about my ailments. I will not blog about my ailments. It's the swirly brain here. The fog of sleep is still clinging to me, like cigarette smoke to fabric, and I can't think of anything else. Well that's not true actually. Sitting here the last half hour has been going something like this: I wonder what ever happened to Jane the skirt crapper. I loved that story of hers, but now her blog is gone, and the story lost forever. And the Irish bar downtown that's facing fines for having antique English bar art. Everybody's already blogged that story, I couldn't possibly add anything more salient. Oh look the newspaper just arrived, it's got the plastic bag on it doesn't it? Yes, it does, it darn well better as it's snowing again. Snow, well now there's an original topic. And Dad. Poor dad, attacked at the bark park by a testosterone filled youth. I should tell that story, no, it's not mine, gotta stick to my life. Ugh. My life. Sicky. Better today though, yes definitely on the mend, but nobody wants to hear about that, so you caught a cold, so what. I will not blog about my ailments.

So yeah, I guess you probably want to hear more about the bark park. I hope Dad doesn't mind I'm retelling it. Apparently at the entrance, a man, 6 foot 2 early twenties, arrived with his Boxer. Dad was at the entrance with his pooch and the Boxer ran up to him, the owner holding one of those "leashes" that extends to a remarkable length. The owner is not preventing the leash from extending. So Dad assumes the position. The position to take when a dog charges you. He probably got this from the Dog Whisperer. One leg forward, bent knee at the animal. Something about being the dominant animal. Anyway, he can't remember exactly, but he nudged the charging dog with his knee. Then he turned around to let his dog in as behind him he hears, "Hey Holmes! Nodody kicks my dog!" The next moment of consciousness found him down on all fours in the dirt. His hat flew off revealing his elderly bald pate. He can hear the agitated man repeating "Nobody kicks my dog" as other park goers ask if my dad is alright. The agitated man's girlfriend asks too. As he told me, my father calmly assessed the situation, wasn't seriously hurt and just said, "Fine, fine. Yes I'm alright." Someone suggested he call the police, and he didn't see how prolonging the encounter had any merit. Sure it was aggravated assault, but lawyers and court appearances flashed through his mind and that was it. No calling the police. The girlfriend of the roid raged man hustled him away and they left. The whole time, my father refused to look at or speak to the agitated man. I told him I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut, and I probably would have at least threatened to call the police. He suggested that that was because I have more testosterone coursing my body, given my age, and he doesn't have those aggressive urges much anymore. "You know testosterone decreases as you get older," he informs me. "It's nice. I like it."

20 comments:

christopherc said...

Lovely story?! I haven't much in common with the gentleman you have great fortune to call father as i would probably returned to my car and came back to the park and popped a cap in the assaulting bastard's ass. Two things I can't tolerate are bad parents of children and bad parents of pets.

I do hope you are feeling better and I don't mind hearing a list of your ailments any time.

-C

Anonymous said...

Judge Joe Brown would have had a field day with this case. He hates big dogs and their owners.
Glad you're feeling better. The onlookers at the dog park should have forced the bully's face into a steaming pile of Dog Poop.
If Testosterone decreases as one gets older How come I'm as horny as ever?
Ed

David said...

I would have gone off on him.

Lemuel said...

With all due respect to your Dad, it's not nice, and I definitely DO NOT like it! :)

Snooze said...

That is impressive that your dad let it go. He didn't back down, he just let it go. That takes a lot of character.

Hope you continue to get better sweetie!

Lyvvie said...

Do people still say "Holmes"?? The problem with not reporting something like that, is the aggressor doesn't learn from their mistake, still thinks he was in the right and will do it again, to someone who may be hurt seriously next time. I don't know if there's a way to file a report without pressing charges. I completely see your Dad's side, but I'm a great, big tattletale, so there.

Your Dad sounds like a sweetheart.

ChickenStrip said...

"It's nice. I like it."


What a great story!

GayProf said...

I hate people who can't/won't control their dogs almost as much as I hate people who can't/won't control their children -- almost.

YNAGER '65 said...

OMG I would have went off on that stupid SOB. I feel sorry for the poor dog and his girlfriend...he is an idiot....I could go on for hours....Glad your father is ok and that you are on the mend....

~Y~

Cooper said...

That dog will one day attack just like his owner ... same learned and uncontrolled aggression. Unfortunately, it's the dog who will be put down. I'm glad your Dad is okay.

Java said...

I would probably have handled it exactly as your father did, assuming I wasn't injured any more than a bruise or a scrape here and there. But that's the kind of person I am. I completely understand the reluctance to pursue legal action. The long, drawn out, expensive legal battle just isn't worth it. I'm glad the asshat's girlfriend was decent at least, and removed him from the park.
As for testosterone... A woman's testosterone levels increase as she ages. Is that why I'm so horny? Most of my life I've been pretty damn horny. Maybe I've got more testosterone than most women. That might also explain why I'm so butch, but I doubt it. It definitely explains the mini beard growing on my chin, though.

I'm glad you are beginning to feel better. Keep improving, darling.

Dantallion said...

Reading that made the anger well up in me like...well, I just would have loved to kick the crap out of the fuck...(Yeah, I know, violence begets violence and all that).

The McKibbins thing makes me laugh. The knee-jerk outrage of the Anglo community is, well, embarrassing, actually.

Hope you feel better, Wordo. :)

Lacey said...

So, wait...my exceptional sleuthing skills lead me to the incontrovertable evidence which suggests that I have finally ferreted out your whole name!!! So THERE, mister Tornwordo Holmes. you have no idea who you're dealing with here.

"Just David!" said...

that's appauling!

Cameron said...

My late father had a similar experience in a parking garage a few years ago. He pulled into a space and a young woman approached his window and smiling, knocked on it.

She suddenly flew into a rage, accusing my father of "stealing" her parking space. She punched and clawed at him. My dad kept his cool and managed to roll the window back up.

He was in his early 80s at the time. I don't know about the testosterone part, but he used the good judgment that comes with old age, perhaps.

Or maybe he just didn't want to strike a woman...

Summer said...

I think of the saying "pick on someone your own size" Someday he will meet someone much less peaceful than your father. I'm glad he wasn't too hurt.

em said...

God. Poor D.

sigh.

RoxRocks said...

Boxers are intimidating, I'd crap my pants if one was running towards me! Your dad is a wise and brave man.

Mark in DE said...

Good god, that man sounds more like an animal than his dog. Who in there right mind would assault a senior citizen?

I hope your dad is present to see Karma knock that roid raged man to the ground.

Mark :-)

A Bear in the Woods said...

I hate bullies.