Friday, November 14, 2008

Still loving on her

Here's a picture taken long ago by a friend of a friend that we befriended on a trip to California. He later sent us a blow up of this shot. Serge scanned it and cleaned it up as a souvenir of our beloved Sara. I was terribly broken up about it when we put her to sleep and cried frequently for five days. Then I was good and didn't leak a tear for a week. I thought I had finished with the crying when I had some maudlin moments and cried anew a week after I had stopped. Then night before last, she visited me in my dreams. It was so strange because in the dream I knew she was dead and gone but was just visiting me from the other side. (even though I don't believe in any doggy heaven nonsense) We frolicked and rolled around loving on one another. Squeezing and licking and playing and loving. When I woke up yesterday, I was thrilled to have had such an encounter and it gave me one of the best mood days I've had in years. I know she's gone, but the love I have for that girl will never be extinguished. Plus that dream righted me somehow. Now when I see a picture of her my heart squeezes love whereas a few days ago it squeezed sadness. I can't help but feel like she really visited me.

35 comments:

em said...

I'm so glad! I love the dreams when they visit.

Anonymous said...

It is so wonderful to remember the good times that bring a smile. You have a lot of love to give a new Doggie. Not to take away Sara's memories but to fill a new place in your empty heart. ed

Doug said...

That was really sweet. Sara will always be with you.

David said...

That is awfully sweet.

CoffeeDog said...

Aw, you're making me cry!

Lemuel said...

That is a stunning picture.

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." Will Rogers, 1897-1935

That just about says it for me!

LSL said...

I've had that happen before and have had the same result - feeling a lot more peace and somehow able to let go a little more. I'm so glad for your dream.

Peter said...

That's a great picture of Sara.

I'm glad she 'showed-up' in your dream, in a way telling you all is fine and she misses you too.

paul said...

You think you're finished crying, but you never are. I do believe that they visit us in our dreams, because I had a visit from my little boy. Always keep her in your heart. Try to get through.

Ultra Dave said...

I truly believe they never really leave us, be it people or pets. That love just can't dispate.

Birdie said...

You squeezed my heart with this story and picture. Gorgeous, both of them.

latt├ęgirl said...

I believe in those dreams. Literally. I had one once, after a friend died, and at a subsequent get-together, several of us (her friends) had experienced similar dreams in which she'd come to see us and let us know she was OK.

Sara really was telling you she's fine, and thanking you.

Beautiful photo.

Roxrocks said...

I know exactly the feeling you are describing. I think it's called Peace.

Greg said...

Well, why don't you just run and grab me a big box of Kleenex now?!?! Dang...

That's so sweet that you had that dream. And I love this beautiful photo of her.

Maybe doggy heaven is when they are with us.

GayProf said...

That was a nice tribute.

Patrick said...

Just lovely, the story and the photo. I will still occasionally have dream visits from the dog I grew up with (from age 7 to 20). Sometimes they'll be a bit melancholy, but most of the time they're very rejuvenating. I hope you have many more.

Patricia said...

I'm in tears, just reading this. I LOVE that she visited you.

I don't necessarily call it a Puppy Heaven, but I choose to believe that I will be reunited - or be able to tap into/whatever you want to call it - the energy of animals I've loved. And it's the ongoing love for them that makes me so certain. I think that love is an energy that exists beyond the physical and so I know that I'll find that same energy connection again at some point and I'll know that it's Oliver and Cherry Pie and, yes, one day, probably Indi.

Your dream is just the coolest thing, I'm happy for you.

Mark in DE said...

That is so sweet. You'll always have your wonderful memories of Sara, and sometimes you'll have wonderful dreams of her too!

Mark :-)

Devo said...

What a breathtaking picture of the pretty Sara. I'm glad she came to see you and get some more love.

The Daily Rant said...

This is a beautiful picture...pets touch lives in such wonderful ways, don't they?

I wanted to say that I've really enjoyed your recent political posts - I caught up reading them last night - I just didn't post on each one. Good stuff.

We are in Houlton, Maine right now (just a few miles from the New Brunswick border) but will be picking up a load on Monday in Boston and heading down to Orlando, Florida. I think my boyfriend wants to go to Disney Land....I'm not really loving THAT idea too much. Ugh - kids, rides, crowds, more kids. I think it could drive me to a nervous breakdown. lol

I'm not a big fan of amusement parks, as this post will express: http://bellavenere.blogspot.com/2006/08/six-flags-of-horror-fly-over-texas.html

Laverne said...

Oh man. That picture is wonderful.

And Sara did vist you somehow... that's a gift.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

Gorgeous photo.

I thought I saw my late nan getting on a train the other day, she has a double alive and well.

Lacey said...

I love those dream visits. Sweet dreams are made of this.

christopherc said...

It is incredible the impact our loved pets have on us. It's somewhat reassuring that maybe we can visit with them in our dreams to keep that unconditional love and adoration alive in our very own souls.

Thank you for sharing
-C

Summer said...

A beautiful picture. I like to think that I will see all of my dogs when I get to what ever place I'm headed someday.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like she knows how much you miss her and doesn't want you to be sad anymore. She misses you as much as you miss her and wants you to know she is still around.

Scooter said...

What a gorgeous pup. I have no doubt you gave her a beautiful life.

Rick said...

That's a beautiful picture. The lighting is wonderful - makes her look angelic. And what do you mean there's no doggy heaven?

Glad your heart is squeezing love. Wonderful reference.

Snooze said...

That photo is such a beautiful memory of her. I love her visit to you.

TigerYogiji said...

"There are more things in heaven and earth , Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy..."

I, for one, believe that she did visit you... ((HUGS))

Phronk said...

I don't believe in life after death in the supernatural sense, but I think that animals and people we care about do live on in our memories and dreams, in a very real sense. It's great you were able to experience that.

And that is a beautiful photo.

scottiejt said...

that is such a beautiful photo. and reading your blog entry bought a tear to my eye.

BentonQuest said...

Beautiful photo and great story. Thank you.

John said...

The crying never, ever stops. It just becomes less frequent. But that's because you never, ever forget. But some moment ten years from now, it will all come back. And it's OK.

A Bear in the Woods said...

You and Serge were well loved by Sara. Lucky you.

And don't let Serge tell you not to cry. He's a poop-head if he does that to you.

So there.

Dogs have pure hearts.