Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Beware of finger

It's just before spouse gets home. I am slipping in a last game of scrabble before he gets here. The dog is stuck to me, reminding me of her dinnertime. As long as I pet her, she stays calm, but if I stop she begins to harumph every 10 seconds or so, each harumph imbued with crescendoing whimpering until I either pet her some more or feed her. It's a ritual often played out between us two. So I finish the game and go to the kitchen to prepare Sara's dinner. She tries to jump and I tell her not to and she does it anyway even though half the time her back legs crumble beneath her. First, put a couple small scoops of dry into the bowl, go get the open can of wet food (liver flavor!) in the fridge and scoop some into the bowl. Add a little water and stir it up with a fork. Top with aspirin and glucosamine. There is a pesky piece of food that won't quit the fork. Spouse calls. Do I need anything at the store? I keep banging the fork onto the bowl but it won't budge. So I scrape it off with my finger. "As a matter of fact, we're out of vodka. Do you want a martini when you get home?"

And then I licked my finger. Whole finger in mouth, dog food residue scraped onto back of teeth. (Doing two things at once is a challenge for me apparently.)

And you know what? It really wasn't that horrific. Kind of like bland liverwurst. Good to know that if times get dire, I can always crack open a can of Pedigree.

Still, I cannot believe I did that.

29 comments:

Snooze said...

Ew. Hopefully Pedigree doesn't contain 'meat by-products'

Lemuel said...

In the mid-1970's (probably before you were a gleam in your parent's eye) in the midst of terrible inflation and worse pay, I knew of many elderly who bought dog food to have something to eat. It was a sad commentary on our nation (US) at the time. So your comment "if times get dire" struck a chord and brought back memories.

Anonymous said...

My first thought was how your distraction managed to bring you and Sara "closer." My second? That there could have been worse things on your finger.

CoffeeDog said...

Finger lickin' good.

Timmy said...

mmmmm, a little kibble never hurt anyone!

Anonymous said...

Wow. You can taste your own kibbles n bits? Nice. ;)

JoeL said...

I'm sure some of the stuff restaurants serve sometimes is worst than that. In my neighborhood it was cat food. Old people would buy cat food to eat.

Anonymous said...

This made me laugh so hard! Thank you, I needed a good belly laugh!

I remember as a kid, trying those dog food patties. I can't remember what they were called, but I remember they tasted like Play Doh. Good dog food eating times.

..:: YNAGER ' 65 ::.. said...

OH MY GA'......I would have hurled. Thanks for the laugh, and great interview btw on BGB.

Cooper said...

I can see myself doing the exact same thing.

I love your blog. Love it.

Polt said...

I dont know, man, even 'bland liverwurst' sounds horrific!

HUGS....

Anonymous said...

I was once given dogfood for Valentine's day. I ate it. The crunchy kibble wasn't bad, but stay away from those chewy ones!

Still, glad to know I'm not alone...

Enemy of the Republic said...

Believe it. I've done it too and didn't think it was so bad. Now cat food--that is nasty.

Jason said...

I'm sorry, but I think I'd gag. Did you know they sell doggy ice cream in the ice cream section at the supermarket? I almost bought some by accident.

Anonymous said...

i love scrabble! how do you play scrabble by yourself?

dirk.mancuso said...

"And you know what? It really wasn't that horrific."

Um, I'm just gonna take your word on that -- m'kay Torn?

Spider said...

You sure you didn't hit your head in the fall the other day?

Chris said...

That's just nasty.

David said...

When I was a kid, I and a friend would eat Milkbone dog biscuits for fun. They were pretty good. And my teeth were mighty shiny.

Anonymous said...

Nothing washes down a mouthful of dog food like a good vodka martini.
Cheers!

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I've been told that the health standards for canned dog and cat food are higher than for people food. What you ate was probably healthier than a can of spam.
It's very gracious and loving of Sara that she's willing to share with you.

Lewis said...

As totally disgusted and "icked out" as I am right now, it's probably not the first crazy place that finger has been before it went in your mouth. Just thinkin' out loud here.

David said...

I laughed out loud, then thought of Rodney Dangerfield in Caddie Shack, when he said the cook was serving high grade dog food.

Yep, I have an odd mind.

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. God.


I would so need a martini after that.

Anonymous said...

Oh My God! Ughh. I go through the exact same process every day (with the whole pre-dinner production as well). I have yet to taste it. The thought makes me gag. I would have told spouse 'Get that martini' to me pronto!!! EEEK!!!

Anonymous said...

Great interview! I know how u feel about looking younger, nobody belives Im this old! ...Maybe I use me hands alot while speaking.

Cheers,

Roman.

Anonymous said...

No, no, no.... Just plain wrong...

Patricia said...

clearly this was spouse's fault for distracting you while performing the chore of feeding sara.

at least that'd be my story, and i'd be stickin to it.

Steven said...

I've licked my finger after scooping out dog/cat food before (there were no napkins, I swear!).

I mean, it's not that horrible, since it's (probably) healthier than a typical fast food meal.