Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Spotless

I'm still gagging from the smell of Pine Sol today. It reminds me of my elementary school's bathrooms. The whole house reeks of it. See, yesterday we did something that we haven't done in over seven years. We had our house cleaned. Neither spouse nor I inherited the clean gene, so our house is usually some shade of dirty. We do okay with the basics, vacuuming, tidying, dishes and laundry but we're not so good with the deeper cleaning tasks - dusting, windows, fridge and toilet. So finally we decided to get a housecleaner twice a month to do it. This was spouse's scheme, he knows I'm never really going to clean the toilet or fridge, yet he really appreciates the cleanliness of these things.

So what do you think spouse spent doing the night before and morning of the housecleaner's visit? That's right, he cleaned up for her. I shouldn't have been surprised because he exhibited this behaviour the last time we used a maid service in California. I had just forgotten. It all came back to me, along with my provincial mocking. He cleaned the toilet because he "didn't want her to have to do it." And he moved piles of accumulated stuff that haven't been touched in months. I'm more amused than anything, but I can't help taunting since that is EXACTLY why we are hiring someone. Ah it tickles me. Maybe I can schedule a fictitious maid and then he'll clean up for her and I'll just pour some Pine Sol in the sink, spray some Fabreze in the air and we'll save the sixty bucks.

(Spouse wants you to know that he didn't finish cleaning the toilet because he felt she had to do something. He sometimes calls me on it when I shift or exaggerate a detail in my storytelling. In my defense, I think I use hyperbole sparingly. I told him not to worry about it, that I just massaged the truth a bit.)

26 comments:

bob said...

I am an aberrationof nature ... a Virgo who either missed out on or has deeply repressed his clean gene.

It's just so much easier to have a nice person come in once a week and tidy up. I admit that it took me a few months to stop picking up before she came though. For awhile, she was my motivation to clean. I don't have that problem anymore.

And I'll take Pine Sol over Dettol any day.

Cincy Diva said...

My mother had a woman come in once a week to clean the public areas of the house. She also would clean before the woman got there. Used to crack us up.

Ed said...

My mom is getting old and complains she isn't able to clean the house and it is filthy (looks okay to me) I suggested hiring a cleaning service and you'd have thought I had said I was hiring a hit man. She screamed and said nobody was sitting foot in HER house and going through HER stuff. The next time I went over to visit she was still complaining about the dirt. I think she wants me to clean her house, like Harry Potter making out with Ron Weasley it ain't never going to happen, no matter how bad we want it.

Lemuel said...

Still, the concept is there. LOL! My MIL is like that. When she was getting frail but still in her apt, the family got together and hired a "cleaning lady". We would find the MIL scrubbing the apt the day before because she did not want the cleaner "to see her place like that".

mainja said...

we don't clean before our cleaning guy comes, but we do tidy.

my theory is, if he can't access stuff 'cause there is too much junk, then he can't clean/dust/whatever.

it's a pretty common thing.

i have to say, this is the first time i've heard of someone cleaning the toilet first though. *grin*

David said...

I thought that mindset was dying off with my parents generation. If I had the cash for a cleaning person, they would see my apartment in all its cat hair-infested and yellow-stained toilet bowl glory.

ThatGuy said...

I once had a fantastic Cleaning Woman named Katie Mae. Her only request was a six pack of Coca-Cola in the fridge—and I happily obliged considering she was amazingly cheap and she did my laundry AND dusted the lightbulbs in all the lamps. Sigh—you really can't find good help these days.

Chunks said...

I could never have a cleaning lady, I'd die. Of course, I'm a HOUSEWIFE, so it's okay. This dirty house is my job. I would way rather clean a toilet than a fridge, I have food issues. I hate (and am completely grossed out by) decomposing food. We all have our cross to bear! lol

Cooper said...

I am so like Spouse. I've never had a cleaner, but if I did I'd have to clean up my house for him/her ... not 100% but enough so I wouldn't look "bad". I don't care for the scent of Pine Sol either. It gives me a headache.

wayne said...

We've had the same cleaning lady for over two years now. She is a gem but doesn't speak a word of English. Since I live in Mexico, I suppose that is ok! We clear off surfaces and tidy up a bit but we do not "pre-clean" anything. She makes us leave the house while she cleans. She doesn't like us looking over her shoulder. (although we have on occassion. We just wanted to see what techniques she uses to get the house so damn clean!) We pay her the equivalent of $30USD per week and she comes every Thursday. Trust me, she is over and well paid for the standards here. We love her. So tell Serge to relax. Your cleaning person should be, and will become, your total best friend!

Patricia said...

i totally want this one day. i can keep up on most of the cleaning but i long for someone to come in and do things like windowsills and baseboards and mopping and hmmmm... i could get very used to having help. congrats on money well spent.

GayProf said...

Huh -- My impression from your blog was that Spouse was generally into cleaning.

Doug said...

Tell your cleaning lady to use something other than pinesol or pinesol-like-substance. We've made special requests of our cleaning lady and she's been more than happy to oblige.

I tend to declutter before our cleaning lady arrives, but I don't clean. I'd prefer she spend her limited time actually cleaning rather than moving my crap around.

Enemy of the Republic said...

My mom always cleaned for the cleaning person. Me, if I can afford one, I just pay them extra. I am relatively clean in my habits, but my husband and son are not, and they are a pain to pick up after. So I figure that anyone who has to do battle with their mess deserves an extra 20.

about a boy said...

i would so be the 1 to clean up before the house cleaner paid a visit to the house.

i wouldnt want her. or him. to see how messy a bunch of gays really are.

Paul said...

LOL. I'm there too, cleaning the house the night before the housecleaner comes. There's no way I want someone else to find what might be living under the bed.

I grew up with a live-in. It forced everyone in the family to be pretty tidy. And to hide things really well.

Steven said...

Um... it's their job to clean.

If you clean before they get there, there's no way of knowing how good they are at their job. It's a litmus test, of sorts.

Mark in DE said...

Ah, the luxury of having a housekeeper! We used to have this luxury before we moved. In my opinion its well worth the money.

How CRAZY that Serge cleans up for the housekeeper! I can understand putting away piles of accumilated papers and such, to allow the housekeeper to actually clean. But partially cleaning the toilet before she arrives???

I like your idea of hiring a fictitous maid so Serge will clean!

Mark

Chris said...

Wow, total coincidence... our housekeeper just left right before I read this post. And yes, I cleaned up before she came over. And yes, my spouse taunts me for it.

I do it for a different reason though. I like to tidy up and put everything away so that all surface areas are free for her to clean. I'm sure Serge understands. :)

Steven said...

Guilty as charged. I have done the same thing as Serge when cleaners have come by. :-)

Maurice said...

Like you, I have had someone come in to clean my dump twice a month since about April, and it's the best investment ever! I was worried I would clean up before her but, fortunately, I haven't been burden by such guilt. I'm just a bit more careful in the messiness department between her visits.

Naked Boy said...

I have the maid coming tomorrow to do the floors and windows. She does a terrible job on the floors and I usually have to redo them after her. She does a great job on the windows though.

Wish she charged only 60 bucks. She charges 115.00 for her "deep cleaning" as she calls it.

Jason said...

I have a friend that would get a haircut before he went to his real stylist so the stylist wouldn't think he looked bad.

Lacey said...

Ok, first you embezzle from your employer. NOW you're "massaging" the truth? What's next? O. M. G. I tell ya I can't take much more. And I STILL say number 4.

dawn said...

I ALWAYS had to clean up when I was a kid "because the housekeeper was coming". And it ALWAYS pissed me off.

I love how Spouse mad because he didn't actually finish cleaning the toilet. How does one decide that they are only going to go halfway with the toilet cleaning?

Cameron said...

Oh, WOW, you should see OUR house...the place we're living now is literally a SHACK...not "shaque" just yet!

Ya wanna talk about DUST! We got that, in spades. Literally.q