Friday, March 03, 2006

C'mon get happy

Yesterday was a day of rebirth. Though I woke up with lingering mucus clogging the respiratory system, I could tell that the virus had been whipped and I was a real human being again. I was in a great mood, albeit coughy and sniffly. All day, I wanted to grab everyone and shout. "Hey, I'm alive, isn't that great?" Of course I didn't do this, and expose my lunacy and all.

Later that morning, I passed a street performer in the underground city tunnels doing an accapella version of "Don't worry, Be happy." I caught myself starting to skip. As the veil of sickness had been lifted, so had my vitality returned. Nothing could ruin the mood.
The students had fun classes yesterday and the freshly fallen snow from the night before shone crisp and bright in the March sun. All day long I kept wondering, "How can a rigorous work day be so much fun. Why can't I hang onto this feeling for everyday?" And then I remembered that with suffering comes growth, and that there can be no joy without pain. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

I had two conversations with strangers on public transportation. And I didn't hate it.

Then, on the way home at 5:30, the train arrived and as it slowed I saw that the car that was due to stop in front of me was oddly very sparsely peopled. All the other cars were crowded. What luck I thought, I'll even get a seat (which never happens at that time of day). I entered, as did a dozen other people. What's that smell was my first thought. It was a bad smell but I couldn't identify it right away. The doors closed and I looked around to try to identify where the smell was coming from and what it was. I noticed that people were covering their mouths with gloves and scarves. Then I saw him. A homeless guy, sleeping, with a rotting foot sticking out from one of his soiled pantlegs. So this was the smell of carrion I thought. I cough-gagged and little tears squirted from my eyes. I turned to the lady next to me who had a very angry look on her face, which made me giggle, and then she started giggling too. The teenage girls on the other side of me were huddled at the door, waiting for it to open at the next station to switch cars. A lot of people did this, and a fresh mob of people got on. I watched as it dawned on them too, that they had entered the world of rotting flesh.

And I really tried to think about why this man isn't being cared for, and to have some compassion, but it just wasn't going to happen with that tastable smell. (I tried breathing through my mouth and I swear, it tasted something. gakk.)

And when I got off at the next station to change trains, I felt reborn all over again.

Isn't life grand?

11 comments:

_Psycho said...

Sound like quite a day. I wouldn't be the security guard or something that get the guys out.
Good for the health ! and your right, no joy without knowing the pain.

You cannot appreciate to breath good, when you never know what breath bad is ;)

St. Dickeybird said...

Yum.

And for the record, DWBH was acapella. Whatshisface made all the "music" with his voice.

r said...

Bobby Darin?

No, that's some singer from the 50's.

Bobby Ferrill?

Oh gosh, I don't know.


So glad you're feeling better. Just think, you were so stuffed up before, you probably couldn't have smelled him!

Jason said...

Sorry, but DWBH would have raised my blood pressure.

tornwordo said...

I think it was Bobby McFerrin. And I had forgotten that the original was acapella.

Anonymous said...

He was dead? OMG...never seen a dead rotting corpse before.....blech....glad you feel better...I too have been sick for what seems like an enternity (really only 7 days)

dantallion said...

Here that? That was the sound of my heart breaking.

Chunks said...

DWBH is one of a handful of songs that I loathe. When I hear it, I want to kill myself! It must be all the Nyquil making you sing along to that song! haha!

Poor stinky homeless guy. That is sad. I hate that people slip through the cracks in this country. (Although I know some of them choose to, it is still hard to take.) I'm rambling.

madamerouge said...

One of the local Toronto news broadcasts had this on their crawl today: "city looking for 1000 volunteers to count homeless population in April."

Count them. Like they were white-breasted titmouses or something.

I have a lot of respect for the EMTs, ER staff, and cops who have to deal with the stinkier side of human life such as this. It makes me so depressed sometimes...

Seriously, you've never been on anti-depressants (save for Zyban)? What's your deal? Can I do a Vulcan mind-meld with you?

:o)

Patricia said...

i'm glad you're feeling better. it's amazing how much i take for granted. stuff like breathing and clear lungs and the capacity to live safely and with dignity.

i wish i could get the visual of that man out of my head. but that's the easy way out.

i feel overwhelmed and sad.

epicurist said...

Glad you're felling human again! Sad about that homeless guy...Hopefully he gets help. At the same time, I'm probably going to hell for giggling along with you.