Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A funny story


A few years ago, I was approached by a casting scout (in a subway station) to see if I would be interested in auditioning for a commercial. She thought I would be perfect blah blah blah. After two auditions, I was selected for the role. It was a non-union gig, four day shoot, 14 hours a day, $25 an hour. I was still waiting for my final working papers which I would receive the last day of the shoot, which also happened to be my birthday.

Anyway.

We did four 15 second commercials, much of it in front of the green screen. They were ads for the science fiction channel - Canal Z - touting itself. On the last day, we were shooting on location in a scrapyard outside of the city. It was a complicated shot where Miriam (in photo) and I were strapped into a junked car, I was shirtless, and had a prosthetic "slot" in my back where Miriam would insert a card, thus causing us to become amorous and closing the shot with a kiss. It took hours. We were very uncomfortable in our positions strapped into the car. But after four days, we had gotten quite comfortable with one another. We had to do the kiss about a dozen times. On about the 6th time, the director wanted us to "hold" the kiss for 10 beats.

So there we are, lips locked, and we are holding it. I glance into Miriam's eyes and a small giggle starts to wiggle up her body. It's too much for me, and I let a laugh snort out my nose causing a huge stream of projectile snot to coat her cheek. The cameraman, doing a closeup, let's out a huge "Whoa" and laughs heartily. And a few others let out gasps. I am mortified, but cannot move, our arms having been immobilized. One of the assistants rushes over with a towel to wipe Miriam's face. She is laughing, but doesn't know of the terrible thing I've done. I turn 17 shades of purple, and sorry sorry sorry but you started it kind of talk.

The ads ran for a couple of years but are no more. I think I have them on video tape somewhere. The only pic I have of the experience is the one above.

22 comments:

Snooze said...

And now I have coffee all over my computer screen from laughing so much. What a great story.

Kevin said...

Nice one. You usually have to be careful of casting agents in subway stations.

Actors: $25/hour
Leather pants: $150
An actor snotting on someone else's face: priceless


(And I know it gets tiring, but damn, you are an attractive man.)

Rye said...

Projectile anything is very sci-fi - they should have kept it :)

toobusyliving said...

Kissing women is about as Sci-Fi as I get...or is that Fantasy? .....Maybe if she was sitting on a unicorn.....

Holly said...

i should be horrified by the snot, but all i can muster up is...

damn, you're pretty. and ohmygodlookatthoseleatherpantshowfreakinghot

St. Dickeybird said...

That'll teach you to kiss girls!

I'd love to see that commercial, maybe one day it'll appear online. I so hope!

_Psycho said...

Haha really really cool, I need to find this video !!

nosouthernbelle said...

That's hilarious! What do we have in life if we can't laugh at ourselves from time to time!

Patricia said...

i knew you were a movie star!

anabel said...

I love the way you so readily share those embarrasing moments.

Helps us remember that we're all so human.

madamerouge said...

hmm... snot-tagging... could this explain the title of your blog? That stuff gets sticky, yo.

GayProf said...

Funny.

Dantallion said...

Kissing made you slime her? Man, you really ARE gay... ;)

Rebekah said...

Such a great story.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Ah, man. You HAVE to find those and post MPEGS on your blog!

I had no idea you were a celebrity!

nongirlfriend said...

I'd pay good money to see it.

Butchieboy said...

That is a good story. Anything that involves projectile body fluids is a-okay.

Donna said...

i think you have a snot fetish

Carrie said...

that was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

farmboyz said...

I laughed, and almost snorted.
You should be often and always in front of a camera.

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

uuuurrgg most grosse, but it's the sort of thing i'd do...with a bloke...uuurrgg not with a girlie.... I don't think ;-)

but wow i've a famous blooger pal ;-)

Steven said...

Why do gross stories always sound funnier when they happen to someone else?