Friday, March 17, 2006

Snippets 3

1. I'm very good at remembering my keys, but very bad at remembering to lock.

2. I'm the horniest when I'm sick. I don't know why, maybe a built in instinct - procreate before you die!

3. I talk to trees, plants and animals. Even though they can't talk back, they hear me.

4. If you don't say something immediately when I pick up the phone, I will hang up on you.

5. My toothbrush needs to have "hard" or "firm" bristles. Otherwise, it's like cleaning the lasagna pan with Kleenex. Ineffective.

6. I can say, "I'll get you my pretty, and you're little dog, too" with the exact intonation of Margaret Hamilton. It hurts my throat to do it though.

7. I'm still waiting for the pharmaceutical companies to come up with something I might actually consider taking - like a good mood pill with no come-down.

8. Sometimes lint collects in my bellbutton. (why is that anyway?) When spouse notices it, he will promptly pluck it from my naval and eat it. (I swear.)

13 comments:

Snooze said...

You'll have to audio blog #6 for us, and #8, well, that's love I suppose.

St. Dickeybird said...

I understand 2. Last time I was hospitalized, my bf and ex were both sitting at the end of my bed. I couldn't help thinking of a hospital 3way.

I don't understand 8. I think i'd dump a guy who did that!


ps. #2 didn't actually happen.

Jason said...

I've never heard of #8 before. Keep spouse away from the dryer.

Kevin said...

Yeah, speechless after #8 ...

GayProf said...

I could comment on #8 (?!?!), but I think others have expressed expressed my dumbfoundedness.

Instead, for #5, I'll remind you that Timmy Tooth always says to use "soft" bristles. Your poor gums need a break!

epicurist said...

#8 is simply the most disgusting thing I have heard all day. ewww What happens when you take your socks off?

jjd said...

Hmm.. I was with you except for #6 (I'm sure you can do it better than me) and #8 is just.. well.. free calories and a great way to boost your immune system!

Patricia said...

1. better than the reverse.
2. exact opposite. touch me and die.
3. perhaps we just don't understand the language in which they speak to us.
4. fair enough.
5. ouch! i'm a softie. but i'm thorough.
6. for years i've wanted to use this as a ringtone for certain people.
7. ah, but where's the fun in that?
8. is he a fan of toe jam, too?

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

I feel sick after reading 8 ;-)

I think you're Dr Dolittle really in disguise with a penchant for hard brushes ;-)

have a good weekend, scrubbing!

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

ps: toe jam! Patricia?? ;-)

Chunks said...

I live with someone who gets a perfect circle of lint in his bellybutton too sometimes, but I would never think of eating it!

Switch to soft bristles before your gums receed!

I've been doing #4 for awhile too, damn telemarketers.

Rye said...

Good luck with the non-smoking. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'll kick your ass if you start again :)

S said...

8. TMI, dude. TM-freakin'-I.