Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Family moment

Okay I can't sit here staring at the blank screen any longer. I've got to go teach my class this morning and if feels like the beginning of the end because the floodgates of employment have opened and it looks like my dance card is going to be full, full, full. Not that I'm complaining. Yet.

So in light of the fact that nothing noteworthy has occurred, I'll tell you a little embarrassing story from my past.

The whole family was enjoying a beautiful week of houseboating on lake Powell in Utah. This is probably a good 15 - 20 years ago, and I was in my "sun worshipping" mode as we motored down the lake. Up on top of the houseboat with my headphones on, I was laying out soaking up the glorious rays. My eyes were closed and I was who knows where in my daydream when something snapped me to the moment faster than a smelly fart. Someone pinched the head of my penis. I opened my eyes to see my aunt bent before me, the head of my penis clutched between her fingers as tears of laughter streamed down her face. My female cousins were howling behind her. I couldn't hear them because of the headphones, but apparently my junk was hanging out of my bathing suit for quite some time before they played their little trick.

I'm turning red again just recounting it.

26 comments:

dan said...

lololololololololol !!!!
M├ęchante matante !!

Lemuel said...

Great to hear you'll be dancing a lot at the ball! Kudo's.

I guess your aunt was not the shy type.

Ed said...

The proper thing to do would have been to throw a towel over you. To have a guy to throw a towel over you. I'm so modest I'm turning red for you.

bardelf said...

OMG! That experience would rank up there with some of life's most embarrassing moments. I'm blushing and it's not even my experience!

Lacey said...

I'm sorry but that's just wrong.

Polt said...

That's not just embarrassing, that's quite wrong. Icky even.

Hugs....

David said...

So many questions!
Was it flaccid or erect?
What kind of bathing suit were you wearing that your penis was hanging out?

paul said...

To have an aunt fondle you and to have others watch and laugh is just sick.

Steven said...

I don't think my aunt likes me that much to do the same thing.

daveincleveland said...

way to funny, just wrong, but way too funny

Devo said...

Good lord, your aunt is a feisty one! I have to say I would never have the guts to do that but it's really damn funny nonetheless. Penises, especially flaccid ones, are a bit humorous in any case, really.

GayProf said...

Show me on the doll where your aunt touched you, Torn.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

That's a horrifying story, TW. I'm a little more fearful a person having read it.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I was just reading below: gay guys get their own strip bars? And you get to see the junk?

What gives? All we straights get is a chick in a thong.

Patricia said...

there's something equally wrong with me that i wondered if "it" got sunburned.

your aunt should've just covered you up and been a whole lot more discreet. i'm pretty sure this is a grudge i'd hold on to for life.

Curtis said...

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "peek-a-boo" doesn't it?

Jason said...

What do you say to someone that does that?

I think I would have jumped off the boat.

Mark in DE said...

People probably think that Speedo swimsuits are "too revealing" but at least the elastic keeps your junk in. Boxer-style swimsuits can have large leg openings, allowing the 'horse' to go 'wandering outside the barn'!

Funny, funny story!

Lewis said...

Please? You? Embarassed? Well, I guess by a female and the fact that it was a family member. I love that! I'll bet your aunt is still talking about it too....

Summer said...

Your Aunt??!! I'm an Aunt myself and couldn't imagine doing that. I'd find someone with XY chromosomes to tell you or cover you with a towel.

TT said...

Be glad your "junk" is capable of falling out. Auntie Molester? Kind of a perv.

Scottsdale Girl said...

Yeah I have more "creeped out" vibes than "oh that was funny!" vibes goin on.

Your aunt should be embarrased, not you.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

Auntie grabbed your willie!!?
And did "it" get sunburn? That would be my concern. Perhaps that's what Auntie was thinking of.

I mean, a healthy little outing is nice, but you want to protect your little friend with lots of lotion and sun blocker. They even make little "hats" for them. They're usually clear though, so they don't keep the rays out very well.

Chunks said...

LMAO @ Gayprof!!!

And you Torn. I'm LMAO at you and your wild Aunt!

Anonymous said...

oh my god that is sooooooo funny...

Jenn from WA said...

OmG...I had the same, sorta, embarrassing situation. It, however, involved a boob, a bathing suit, the cute guy I LOVEd, his family and water skiing. I was out waterskiing, took a bit fall. Came into the boat all scattered. Sat there for a good 5-10 minutes with people glancing down, and giggling. When the guy I LOVED, said, "Uh, Jenn...boob check!" His family still talks about that every time they see me. So embarrassing.