Friday, August 10, 2007

Snippets

* My slumbering babies.

* The weirdest dream yesterday. Serge came home with a couple of guys who wanted a three way with him. He said I needed to clear out. One of them was my high school best friend. (Married to a woman in real life.) Serge shoved a martini in my hand and sent me out for an hour. I was crushed, trying to be magnanimous and give him this "fun" but it sure felt shitty to be woken up and sent out of the house, here I am walking down the street, NAKED, with a maritini at 6 in the morning. It probably looks weird that I have a martini glass walking around like this. Still not many people are out at this hour, thank God. I hope I don't cut my feet, gosh I really hope I don't cut my feet on any broken glass. (I was more concerned about cutting my feet than the fact that I was sauntering down the street naked.) Then I woke up mad at Serge.

* A couple things I've learned this week. When you don't leave the house nothing happens. Also, no money is spent. Fascinating, I know.

* A friend of ours informed us that we shouldn't rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. That because we have the fancy "sensor cycle" model, if we rinse first, the sensor will determine that "washing" isn't needed, only more rinsing. Then the dishes don't come out as clean. We should always leave a little food caked onto everything according to him. I find this hugely difficult to believe, but at the same time I'm insanely hopeful that it is true. We shall see tomorrow.

* Sara let a fart the other day that I swear she stored up for 12 years. I had to run from the room gagging, trying to curse, but only succeeding in gagging. It was like a skunk's spray atop a rotting animal and then shat upon. Vile.

* Hey, if you've linked me and I haven't returned the linky love, just drop me a line or a comment and I'll slide you in on the sidebar.

* This was taken last weekend at the Flora exhibit in the Old Port. I thought it was preety.

25 comments:

CoffeeDog said...

Sara's fart - something must have crawled up her ass and died! Our Hugo farts and when he does Mrs Coffeedog claims it's cute, but when I fart it's disgusting. She claims Hugo's are more organic smelling, mine are just plain nasty. I swear woman can hear a fart from a mile away, but talking to her when she doesn't want to hear and all I get is WHAT?

Lemuel said...

To Sara: Wisdom from my father - it is better to bear the shame than the pain. Poor girl, she has so few pleasures in life.

Ed said...

Love the picture of your two bitches. Dreams are often silly and mean nothing.
That last picture is purty. Reminds me of spinning plates while music plays real fast on the old ED Sullivan show. I know, I'm old.

Chunks said...

I love the dream! I really love that you were pissed off when you woke up. You are so me sometimes!

Gaggy dog farts are the best!

Do you read all the blogs that you have in your sidebar? If so, I'd better kick it up a notch.

What the hell are those spinning plates? Are they big? Are they small?

dbv said...

a martini at 6am, on the street naked? you sound like my aunt fay... my favorite aunt by the way... lol

Lacey said...

I'm all about you, Ed.

Jason said...

What a cute picture.

I need to get me a set of those too.

David said...

* Aw
* Hm, a lot goin' on there.
* What, you never heard of online shopping?
* I don't buy it.
* Lovely
* I'm cool
* Niiiiiiiiiice

Enemy of the Republic said...

I've heard that one about the dishes. Don't believe it for a second. Rinse!!

St. Dickeybird said...

If Serge sent you out into the city naked with a martini, you'd probably be getting more action than his 3way!
And if he ever tries it, walk west. Way west.

Steven said...

I'm glad you can remember your vivid dreams. I have a hard time recalling if I dream, or not.

Dantallion said...

People often walk around my neighbourhood naked. Usually it's sans martini. Mostly at night. And generally involves outdoor sex in dark corners.

GayProf said...

Well, a martini is better than being given $5 to see a movie.

David said...

Thanks for the laugh. While I generally hate fart jokes, this was brilliantly worded. If only because, I can picture it in my mind you trying to escape the smell.

Devo said...

That really sounds like a dream I would have also. And the whole being mad when you woke up, oh yeah, so cute. Done that, sometimes it's hard not to. Big meanie Serge!haha. I love that picture, it is tres cool. I am so French, eh?

Mark in DE said...

"here I am walking down the street, NAKED, with a maritini at 6 in the morning" -I know that feeling. Just kidding! That was a hilarious dream, and so funny that you woke up mad at Serge. I really DO know that feeling.

I was literally LOL about Sara's nuclear fart! I've been wondering where your scat humor has been lately. Alas, you did not disappoint.

Love your writing...

Mark

Daniel said...

The dream was very interesting. Its funny how your anger translated from your dream to reality, but I think it would have done the same for me.

P.S. I'd love for you to link to me.

Lewis said...

What? He wasn't even willing to make it a four-way and include you? Plus, he shoved you out with bare feet (which I find totally sexy, by the way)......
I'm sure he's more of a lover than this dream (nightmare?) portrayed. At least you had a cocktail. And the dishwasher thing.....it could possibly be true. I've heard that before

madamerouge said...

great picture

Sh@ney said...

The dream, wonder how an eggspurt would decifer that one. *winks*

Sleeping babies - CUTE
Pooch wind! - POOH
Exhibit - GORGEOUS!
xoxo

dawn said...

I dig the exhibit. Very random and cool.

Please tell us if the dishwasher thing works, cause I'll go buy one of those things right now if it does.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

The funniest thing is that most dogs don't realize where that funny sound came from.
They get all mystified.
In that picture, who keeps all those giant plates spinning?

L-girl said...

Great photo! She looks like our Tala.

Kevin said...

The dishwasher thing is true. The better models, of which we have also, have a garbage disposal built into the bottom so food will be cut up in it and wash away with the dirty water. If you continue to rinse first, you're just wasting your time and precious water too!

TJ said...

I have you linked, thanks in advance. As for the fart it just must be something in their digestion.