I have no excuse for being in a funk, but there it is anyway. Like finding a hair in the middle of your sandwich - once you see it, it's too late - appetite lost. I think for the past year my view toward the future ended with the fabulous vacation of life, and here I am wondering why I didn't have a plan for these ensuing months. There was a vague sense that I'd do some work, and spend a week in California in August. The work thing hasn't really panned out, though I did get a voiceover gig for tomorrow and Thursday. It'd be a happy thing but I can't help seeing that it should just about cover what deadbeat tenant is short this month. Em told me to write down this angst over "nothing to do" so that when I'm in the frenzy of teaching I could look at it and, what? Laugh at my ridiculous self? I'm reminded of the girl handing out gum samples at the sidewalk sale as she told me, "The gum that lasts a ridiculously long time." That's how this summer appears to me, a ridiculously long time.
I made this list yesterday:
make no-smoking box (treats puzzles)
make dentist appt
I only did the first three.
Today there is a parade in front of our house, and people may come and watch with us. We will likely look at all the vacation pictures again. I'll pretend to be happy. In my experience, if you pretend long enough, it becomes real.