Tuesday, June 24, 2008

All funked up

I have no excuse for being in a funk, but there it is anyway. Like finding a hair in the middle of your sandwich - once you see it, it's too late - appetite lost. I think for the past year my view toward the future ended with the fabulous vacation of life, and here I am wondering why I didn't have a plan for these ensuing months. There was a vague sense that I'd do some work, and spend a week in California in August. The work thing hasn't really panned out, though I did get a voiceover gig for tomorrow and Thursday. It'd be a happy thing but I can't help seeing that it should just about cover what deadbeat tenant is short this month. Em told me to write down this angst over "nothing to do" so that when I'm in the frenzy of teaching I could look at it and, what? Laugh at my ridiculous self? I'm reminded of the girl handing out gum samples at the sidewalk sale as she told me, "The gum that lasts a ridiculously long time." That's how this summer appears to me, a ridiculously long time.

I made this list yesterday:
knit
read
piano
ride bike
make no-smoking box (treats puzzles)
make dentist appt

I only did the first three.

Today there is a parade in front of our house, and people may come and watch with us. We will likely look at all the vacation pictures again. I'll pretend to be happy. In my experience, if you pretend long enough, it becomes real.

23 comments:

Greg said...

Is it a Pride parade? That could help perk you up, no? I hope so. There's nothing so yucky as a post vacation funk. Time to get out there and really open up the new camera, see what she can do!

Snooze said...

Keep going through the motions. I can relate to the last sentence.

Anonymous said...

Hey ... it is called "back to reality"... which in your case is not so bad! BTW ... how is Sara?

m & j

Anonymous said...

You have a lot to be thankful for. Count your blessings. Thank just how much better off you are than the people of Zimbabwe. Ed

Anonymous said...

I mean think...Ed

"Just David!" said...

Why don't you get out of "yourself" and volunteer somewhere? Try your local AIDS Hospice, I'm sure they could really use the extra help and it'll make you grateful for what you've got. It does wonders for me, a person with WAY TOO MUCH time on his hands.

Birdie said...

Ed, I just figured you had a southern accent.

Torn, this is the inevitable slump after a prolonged high. Keep moving, physically and intellectually, and it will take care of itself.

David said...

Was one of the three things you did make the list, or did you get to the piano?

Polt said...

Post vacation letdown...man I ALWAYS get them my first day at work after a week in Toronto.

I just hate how the mundanities of life, that you didn't even think about on vacation, come up and slap you right in the kisser.

Enjoy the parade though.

HUGS....

Naked Boy said...

I started going to the beach every Monday, just to break up the monotony. It is something to look forward to. Maybe you can do something like that each week.

Patricia said...

Definitely sounds like the Post Vacation Blahs. And why shouldn't the blahs be stronger since the vacation and experiences were that much stronger? Hang in there while making the transition.

Anonymous said...

Put this on your list:
Learn new song lyrics,
Make new video of me singing along to new song,
Post it to YouTube,
Post it on my blog,
Make Rox laugh.

-Rox

Laverne said...

I like Rox's idea.

My summer's feeling like that, except I didn't even get the dream vacation. I just knew I was going to be busy packing and leaving for the UK, so I planned nothing.

And so now, almost nothing to do.

My goal is to do something productive every day.

And read. Read a lot.

GayProf said...

It is only natural to feel a bit let down after a fabulous vacation. It's sort of like the post-Christmas blues.

Take some time to just enjoy wandering around the house. Make some good tea, enjoy a book, and relax. Or go and check out the strippers. Whichever.

don said...

“…everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

em said...

Of course to laugh at your ridiculous self, what else is there? Here is this thing that is helping mildly:
http://www.daozang.com/daojing

That and seeing how stinking crazy I am. I particularly like #24.

afod said...

I hope this "funk" is only but a "fleeting moment." Showing your pearly whites helps. Six months from today is Christmas Eve.....and snow.

Java said...

Merry half-Christmas! Hope you feel better soon. The blues are a bitch.

travelling, but not in love said...

We build up to things and never look beyond them so much. I'm off on holiday in a few weeks and have no idea what I have planned beyond it. Largely because nothing is planned.

Now that I've read your post, I'm going to make sure I book in a couple of 'events' post holiday now - to make sure there's something to look forward to again!

Doug said...

One of my therapists once told me, "Fake it until you make it." That made me mad, as though my pain wasn't real and could be wished away with a fake smile.

The post-vacation sadness is real. I just got through it myself, and sometimes still feel it.

Hopefully it passes quickly and completely, for both of us.

*hugs*

Mark in DE said...

Post-vacation blues are quite common. Its probably worse for you, since you weren't returning to 'work' like most do after a vacation.

Let yourself feel, and don't beat yourself up for not accomplishing everything on the list. You've got the whole, ridiculously long summer to accomplish them.

Mark :-)

anabel said...

I guess it's all normal ups and downs but I always wonder if I'll just get stuck in the down section.

Dye your hair blond. It's semi-working for me!

johnny368 said...

"You can't always control events in your life but you can control what you choose to think and feel about them. You can choose to look at things positively or otherwise. You decide."

Just keep your mind open and
try new things.......:O Good luck!