Sunday, June 29, 2008

Filling the days

I didn't post yesterday and I probably should skip today as well, I would but it's just that I treat this thing more like an obligation. This is the trick to doing things you don't usually feel like doing. In addition to the blog it's how I trick myself into working out regularly. The weather has been atrocious around here. Cool, cloudy and damp. I feel like I'm in Vancouver or something. (A place I've never been but will see before the year is out.)

I would moan about how it's hard filling the days when you can't spend any money. However, Mom scolded me the other day for whining about how I got the post vacation blues and nothing planned for the summer. I'm DOING all the things that cost no money. I walked over 20 hours this week. (Which I'm really enjoying by the way. I've seen so many parts of town that I've never seen but from a bus window.) I'm reading, I'm knitting, I'm playing the piano. I'm eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. I'm playing scrabble and doing sudoku every day. Oh and doing the full body meditation too. Actually, yesterday I did it twice it felt so good.

Wow, look at all the nice peaceful things I'm doing. Mom's right, there's no excuse for a poor attitude. (Though I must say it'd be a hair easier if I had her kind of um, resources.)

Apprehension is never far as my quit date approaches. It seems my brother and cousin quit smoking lately, I think I'm the last one left in the family, sigh. Now if I can make quitting an obligation in my mind.....Only two days left.

18 comments:

Birdie said...

I really appreciate your persistence in posting; it's part of my morning routine to read your blog every day. I understand the lack of a muse. How 'bout taking your camera with you on those walks, and show us the city? I would love to see that.

Another love note for your quit box: Your lungs are cleaner every day you don't smoke. We want you here and healthy!

Uncle Zoloft said...

For your quit box: 5mg tabs of valium.

I'm with birdie - walk, shoot and blog.

We just got back from Vancouver, Victoria and Tofino. There's a great place to stay in Tofino, if your headed that way...

Anonymous said...

Someone said, "people who say money can't buy happiness just aren't trying". Think how much extra cash you'd have if you didn't have to buy smokes. You might just be able to afford Jelly. Summer is a time to just be lazy and enjoy living. also, enjoy the fact that you don't have to work but Serge does, just don't enjoy it too much. Ed

Unknown said...

Remember Torn, after you quit - you can never, ever have another cigarette. Not even one.

As I've said on here before, once a smoker has "just one" cigarette, he is a smoker again.

I quit 8 years ago, smoking two packs a day. I did it cold turkey. Sounds extraordinary, but I had the help of my asthma, double pneumonia, and a week long trip to intensive care when I stopped breathing one night.

Christie

A Lewis said...

i must painfully admit that you actually DO the free things much more adeptly than I. and, again i admit, that blogging is -- from time to time -- an obligation. not all of life is fun all of the time. it's that simple. so, we'll permit you a bit of time in the molly-grubs before we kick your arse back out into the sunshine and happines. never been to vancouver? one of my very favorite in the whole world.

Anonymous said...

Christine is right, Torn, so I won't say anything about that except YOU CAN DO IT!

I know what you mean about the blogging. Doesn't it sometimes feel like you've said all there is to say?
-Rox

Anonymous said...

Go Torn! You know how excited I am for you to quit.

I totally get the "nothing to do blues" you're having. I can go to the beach, but it's not like all I'm doing every day.

My big thing is just that I'm alone all the time. At least you and Serge can talk and you know, whatever when you're both home.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the obligation :-)

I look in almost every day when I am at home. I noticed your non-post yesterday and as the page was loading I started worrying that you might be incapacitated. It was a relief to see the new post. I guess I'm a bit of a worrier.

Would it help your muse to know that there are many people waiting to see what you've posted? It's true of course but I know it may not seem that important first thing in the morning.

I quit smoking after decades of fumes. It can be done. I used the patches but I had to take them off at night in order to get a good nights sleep.

Montreal has such great food, not smoking should only make that better. However, you have to truly understand the damage that it does and believe it as well. Just because it's true doesn't always help... it's a bit like, while on a diet, one has to realize that ice cream is just frozen fat with sugar added.

don said...

Dude, it is warm and sunny her e in Vancouver. In fact, I am just heading to the beach now (which is a free thing).
Hang in there. It will be well worth it.

Anonymous said...

Yep, it's 80 degrees and gorgeous in our part of the world (I'm 60 miles south of Vancouver). We grow a little moss in the winter but oh, the summers! Come west and partake of the salmon and wine!

Everyone I work with is a former smoker. It can be done! You'll feel so good and you can put all the former cigarette money to another fab vacation!

Ann

Butch said...

As a previous heavy smoker,( quit in 1970 ) I can only wish you the best of luck and success at kicking the habit. I won't preach because there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker, but I would say that the first few days can be hell though after about three days the physical addiction is over and it takes a bit longer for the psychological habit to subside. After awhile you actually do start feeling better, food tastes better, yada yada yada. Good luck to you!!

Patricia said...

Is Serge quitting with you? I know it's always harder when he's still smoking. I wish you success!

Patrick said...

I've been taking regular walks too, and it's helped me in so many ways. I'm intrigued by the full body meditation, is that something you would be willing to share here? I've been trying to meditate recently, and it's been exceptionally -and uncharacteristically - difficult for me to quiet my brain.
Post vacation blues are no joke, especially given how excited you were about this one. I hope the quiet routine starts to feel fulfilling.

Anonymous said...

I know you will permanently quit smoking, since you decided it so. Your character is amazing...at least from the persistence of your ever-engaging blog. Anything we as readers can do to help, please just ask!

-kev (from the now defunct Protected Truth blog) but I am inspired to start blogging again because of sites like yours.

My adventures said...

Volunteering is free too and I'm sure there's some organization up there that could use a guy just like you!!!

Anonymous said...

Will we get to see pictures of your knitting?

Mark in DE said...

Blogging shouldn't be an obligation, it should be an expression. As much as I love reading your blog, don't oblige me; express to me when you're ready.

Mark :-)

Sh@ney said...

I am the last smoker in my family as well & I cop alot of flak over it too. Darn my addictive nature! Darn it I say!

I would like to make a blanket (knit) but don't know if I have the patience for it. :(
Is it hard to learn?