Here it is, my last day as a smoker. I feel it's important to go public with it because one needs every motivation possible. The shame of public failure is a big motivator. There are other motivating factors too, a few of which I wrote down and posted on the wall. Because you love your lungs. Because you don't want cigarettes to control your life - you are in control. Because it costs a lot. This is going to be difficult because spouse is not joining me in quitting. We have quit together before but spouse usually doesn't get too far (the most was 30 days) and I even remember contemplating breaking up with him because he was smoking and I wasn't. That makes me laugh now. "So why did you guys break up?" "Well, I quit smoking and he had the audacity to continue smoking." This time is different. But it will be hard with cigarettes in the house. (Although, starting today, smoking is only to be done outside.)
One nice thing is that the law changed here while we were on vacation, and now cigarettes cannot be displayed in stores. They must all be hidden now. And they are. So I won't be seeing them except in the hands of those smoking.
I went through this before on the blog. March of 2006. I lasted until my birthday at the end of July when I gave myself permission to have a birthday cigarette. As Christie said then and again yesterday, if you have even one cigarette, that's it - you're a smoker. Or as I like to put it, once you give yourself permission, quantity is not an issue.
Anyway, I only have one goal on my list this year. This one. Usually I have 10. But this has to be the year for this. I don't know why, but "I quit when I was 42" sounds exactly right to me. Feels right. Is right.
If posting is spotty this week, it's only because smoking and blogging have become too intertwined. Fear not, I'll be back.