Sunday, December 18, 2005

Doing the lord's work


Ding dong.

The dog goes crazy barking and wagging her tail in anticipation of fresh new smells entering the house. It's Saturday morning, who could this be? Serge is still in his robe, but I'm dressed, so I go to the door to answer it. There I find an older couple all bundled up in the cold clutching printed material in their gloved hands.

"Good morning, sir. We are passing through the neighborhood to talk about some things." Warm expressions of psychosis compassion fixed on me.

I have now remembered that you should NEVER answer the door on Saturday morning, and have spotted the title of the magazines in their grip - The Watchtower. I try to interject, but he has his schtick well practiced and doesn't stop talking but pulls out something that looks like a Bible, and then shows me and reads to me a passage that he would like to discuss. Something about "bounty" - I'm not very well versed in French Biblical wording. (nor am I so good at puns.)

Finally, I was able to speak, and I said simply, "I don't want to talk about that with you."

They wished me good day and went on.

The dog was bummed when I closed the door. I thought about how they were convinced that they were out doing the lord's work. Freezing their little butts off to pester people on the last weekend before Christmas. Spreading irritation and inconvenience wherever they go, I wonder if they get the irony of their manner of "spreading the word".

Religion is like a virus that renders you mentally ill. It relieves you of your duty of "thinking for yourself", (this is what they mean by "faith" - don't think about it too much or it won't ring true, so just have faith) and robs you of the chance to experience all the possiblities in life.

That is not to say that there are not good lessons or messages in any religion, it's just that they are lessons, not mandates for living. (In my opinion.)

Here is a little game pointed out by em which can show you any flaws in your "god logic". I did very well biting only one bullet, but receiving no direct hits. If you don't get that sentence, go try the little quiz here.

8 comments:

Jess said...

Yes, when I get such visits, I sort of admire their persistence in the face of what must be pretty regular rejection. On the other hand, I don't care for anyone ringing my doorbell for the purpose of pestering me, and I really can't imagine being convinced to convert to their religion based on an initial visit akin to the Fuller brush man.

r said...

I used to highlight my bible just to question the mormons and Jehovah's witnesses that would come to my door.

Once a JW said that the only name we should use for God is Jehovah. I laughed a little and said I was pretty sure he heard me, no matter what name I used.

And I disagree with you about religion being akin to a virus rendering one mentally ill.

But you already knew that.

The Raven said...

Just put up a sign on your door that says "In this house, we worship Satan". They'll leave you alone, and your neighbors too!

The Wisdom of Wislon said...

Each to their own re; religion

I love those beautiful snow snaps

Adam said...

Well put about the passages of the bible meant to be lessons not mandates. I don't know if I would have even been so polite as you were.

St. Dickeybird said...

Funny how they complain about gay rights as "pushing their lifestyle on everyone", but they're knocking on doors!

I usually invite them in, but let them know that I have a 'Naked Only' policy.

epicurist said...

I like your thoughts on this as they are similar to mine and so many others in out Blogdom.

epicurist said...

bt the way i scored a 1.0 on the Plausibility Quotient, but that surprises me not.