Thursday, December 20, 2007

Nothing much

You would think I'd have more time to write since I'm off now. True, I could write more, but not much happens when you stay holed up in the house. I've been thinking about telling another installment story, but the key words there are "thinking about", as nothing is written. Wow, I'm killing myself here in my office chair. I've got some of the cloyingest gas odors coming out of me. It must be the Sloppy Joes I made last night. Thanks to Patricia helping me out, I made them from scratch. If I had known all you had to do was doctor up some ketchup to get the sloppy joe taste, I would have been making it this way all along. Plus I love recipes like this one. Basically, the amounts are just suggestions and you mix it up to your taste. I was practically full from all the tasting-as-I-cooked by the time we sat down to eat. Serge wouldn't eat them. He has never liked sloppy joes all that much, and last night, he made a very un-pc comment. He called it, "BS food." BS is what people on welfare are called up here. He put plastic wrap on his plate, stuck it in the fridge and told me I could have it for lunch today. Yay, more cloying farts impending.

You know you can see lots of videos on youtube with (I've only seen males) guys lighting their farts on fire? Oh and the Japanese porn market includes a genre of "girls farting" videos with guys getting off on sniffing them (the farts) just as they come out. Can I get an "ew"? I'm not linking anything, if you don't take my word for it, the searching will take mere moments.

Well, I guess this is the kind of thing we can expect from the blog in upcoming weeks. Perhaps there will be tenant drama or a plumbing problem to spice things up. I'm certainly not wishing it, but if nothing happens, I can see bowel tales forthcoming. And nobody wishes that ; )

20 comments:

Lemuel said...

Growing up we never called them "sloppy joes". They were always "[hamburger] barbeque" in our home and always made from scratch. I think that name sounds more dignified. Perhaps Serge would eat them by a different name. LOL! BTW, my wife's family always called them "sloppy joes" and now that is what I call them.

CoffeeDog said...

I love sloppy joes. Mrs Coffeedog is not a beef eater so I'd get them all to myself.

Lighting farts on fire ranks above up there with my baby jar caper for sure.

Anonymous said...

My parents lived through the great depression and my mom still makes some of the things they had to eat. One of my favorites is sorta like sloppy Joes but we call it Coney Islands. You brown hamburger and diced onions then add pieces of Weiners (Islands) then ketchup. (Now she adds a bit of barbecue sauce too) I eat it with cottage cheese and/or on a hamburger bun. Mmmm good.
Now I won't be looking for girls farting. Torn, you could make a video of Serge getting ready for work. A video of yur house decorated for christmas. Pictures of Sara being sweet or meeting the new Puppy (hint, hint) The new pup won't seem like a replacement for Sara if you get it now and you'll have time to housebreak it. Ed

Patricia said...

oh sure, blame my recipe for your farts and serge going without dinner!! hehe

i'm glad you joined the club of tasting a meal's worth as you cooked :)

icampillo said...

Photblogs are always a good way to skip the lack of stories.

Snooze said...

You need to post the recipe! And I look forward to more bowel tales.

[my friend from Montreal also uses the term BS all the time. It cracks me up]

Doug said...

OMG, I SO know what you mean about nothing happening when you're holed up in the house.

I used to love sloppy joes, but haven't gotten around to making gluten-free hamburger buns.

I'll take your word for the fart sniffing. In fact, I think I'll forget you mentioned it. ;)

Polt said...

Aint nobody makes sloppy joes like Mama Polt makes sloppy joes!!! :)

And ya know, if I have to hear bowel stories, well, there just ain't no bowel story like a Tornwordo bowel story!!!

HUGS...

David said...

The 12 Farts of Christmas?

dr. mo said...

OK, I know this may sound ignorant coming from a Montrealer, but what does "BS" stand for in this context? I've been trying to work it out and I'm completely stumped...

tornwordo said...

Bien aide sociale.

GayProf said...

Isn't there something called "Dutch Ovening" that involves farting in bed and then pulling the covers over your partner's head?

My family used the term "Pizza Burgers" to refer to Sloppy Joes. I didn't really care for them.

Java said...

Welcome home, torn. I'm home now, too. I love it. I ain't doing a damn thing today if I can help it. I'm sitting here playing with the blogs, drinking coffee (of course) and planning a nap. I'm afraid I'll have to get groceries some time today, and sooner is better, crowd-wise, but I just can't bring myself to get up.

You crack me up with the bowel theme. I'm pretty sure that only guys (and by that I mean "guys") ignite their farts. And yes, I've seen it on YouTube.

The sexual fart sniffing? YUCK! I could'a gone all day without that one!

If you are looking for suggestions, I'd like to see another picture of the train tracks. For some reason I'm fascinated with seeing those train tracks with various amounts of snow on and around them. You should also show us what the driveway in front of your garage looks like now.

Cameron said...

Sloppy Joes made regular appearances on all my school cafeteria menus.

Remember when "Manwich" came out?
LOL. I lived on that stuff in my 20s.

Do you ever watch the Simpsons? There was an episode (one of their Halloween ones, I think) in which the little German boy was made into sloppy joes at Springfield Elementary.

One of the teachers, Mrs. Edna Krabappel, loved the taste of her sloppy joe. "So young and impudent", she exclaimed with her mouth full.

(Open ID seems to be not functioning today. So I'll work around that by using my blogger account. ah-HA!)

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I think you should get Serge a copy of White Trash Cooking for Christmas.

Cooper said...

I loved Sloppy Joes when I was a kid. I haven't them since. Care to share Patricia's recipe?

I could have done without the "girl farting" visual ... Some things in life, you just don't need to know about ... lol

Torn, I think you should write a potty-training book. I'd buy it.

Mark in DE said...

Well, it wasn't a poo story, but I guess ripe farts is pretty close.

An installment story wouldn't be bad.

Did I put enough postage on the card to reach you?

Mark :-)

Dantallion said...

I think you mean "Bien être sociale", Wordo.

Any chance we could get a video of YOU lighting your farts up? You could do it in conjunction with HNT, Plus you have the added bonus of it being bowel related.

PS Word verification was "frufs". Chuckle

PG said...

Dutch ovens are THE perfect revenge for numerous petty hurts and annoyances-real and, or imagined-committed by one's vielle botte ... best accomplished sous-duvet, 'cause the quilting reatins la puanteur, and it's your job to keep him cooking ... the tickle-rage cooked up in such a pot can lead to salacious carryings-on, to WAR!! DOs are also a great way to blindside yer TV or book-engrossed man when you just crave a li'l attention. Soit réussi, soit grincheux, it makes for an oventful ovening ...

RoxRocks said...

I do! :)