Friday, December 14, 2007

Snippets

* A little homeless humor I saw in the park. The bottle is a nice added touch, don't you think?

* Bush vetoed the child healthcare bill again. Merry Christmas - the Prez.

* It's so cold here that the snot crystallizes around your nostrils. In case you didn't know, extreme cold makes your nose run like a beer tap.

* If humans were truly interested in peace, we would demand films free of conflict. That would be rather boring though.

* A university research team in Alberta came up with the following conclusion when studying female inmates. They found that those in solitary confinement are lonely. Sure glad they cleared that up for us.

* It is estimated that 60 distinct species disappear every minute on the earth. Most of these are due to the destruction of the South American rain forests. I wonder how many secrets are forever lost.

* Bronchite (pronounced braun-shit) is French for bronchitis. Serge's dad, a banker, tells a famous story of being in an executive meeting in Toronto. When asked how he was doing, he replied, "I've had a bad case of bronchite." What the English execs heard was, "I've had a bad case of brown shit."

* We got silicone oven mitts. This has got to be one of the finest recent inventions. I highly recommend them.

* I thought guys were vulgar. no way. I overheard five 40-something women over lunch discussing preferred angles for "things" entering their vaginas. (Blogger notes that vaginas is wrongly spelled. What is it, vaginae? Apparently yes, as blogger notes vaginae as spelled correctly.)

* If you translate word for word (never a good idea) the English expression "Allow me to introduce myself to you," into French, the meaning will be something like, "Allow me to penetrate you." Really not the same thing.

* The other day, I heard Serge mutter, "I need to change the bed sheets." Since my favorite fluffy sheets are currently on the bed, I protested, "But they don't stink!" Serge chastised me, "We don't have to wait until they stink to change them."

* I read a fascinating article at the LA Times about human evolution. I had thought that modern society prevents evolution from occurring since we heal the least fit, thus thwarting the survival of the fittest element. Apparently this is patently false. Here's an excerpt:

They found that the more the population grew, the faster human genes evolved. That's because more people created more opportunities for a beneficial mutation to arise, Hawks said.In the last 5,000 to 10,000 years, as agriculture was able to support increasingly large societies, the rate of evolutionary change rose to more than 100 times historical levels, the study concluded.
Among the fastest-evolving genes are those related to brain development, but the researchers aren't sure what made them so desirable, Hawks said.

There are other mysteries too.

"Nobody 10,000 years ago had blue eyes," Hawks said. "Why is it that blue-eyed people had a 5% advantage in reproducing compared to non-blue-eyed people? I have no idea."


23 comments:

birdoparadise said...

Lemme get this straight: in the same entry where you discuss snot and shit, you state that discussing vaginas is vulgar. Allow me to appreciate the irony. You are such a guy.

:) Birdie

Anonymous said...

I learn so much from your snippets. I need to learn the french version of, "Please penetrate me now"
The brain had to become stronger because there is so much more to know these days.
We have oven mitts called Ov-GLoves they are great. I just wish they were longer. Now I only burn my arms when reaching into the oven.
We have avoided snow so far but now a big storm is headed my way. I think I'll pass it on to the northeast area. They like snow. Ed

Snooze said...

What a great list! I can just see the Toronto bankers looking in shock at Serge's dad. I also love your comment on the results of the Alberta study.

I learned the introduire/presenter confusion in French class once. I was a teenager at the time so you can imagine how much all of us loved that class.

Doug said...

Films free of conflict...that would mean the UFC television show I just got interested in really would be gay porn. Or is sex a metaphor for conflict?

Those species may one day be vital to our survival. The ecosystem is a system that needs all its parts to operate. But I'm preaching to the choir, here.

It's amazing where the word "shit" shows up in non-English languages. There are more than 30 people working in my company who have the word "shit" somewhere in their names.

You'll never catch me saying "vaginae."

French is rapidly becoming my favorite language.

I'm with Serge on the sheets. Besides, why can't you wash them, dry them, and put them back on the bed?

I think humans are evolving faster because of radioactive and toxic waste, genetically-modified organisms in our food, pollution, and in-breeding. And how do we know whether a mutation is "beneficial?" Will blue-eyed people have x-ray vision in another 10,000 years?

Paul said...

I'm wondering what that research team in Alberta learned about male inmates in solitary confinement. Perhaps, they all date somebody named Rosie?

Frank said...

Where the heck do you eat lunch?

Lemuel said...

O, so many snippets, so little time!

Yes, a Merry C'mas to you, too, Dear Leader! (reference to veto of health care bill and addressed to the Texas Village Idiot not you, Torn)

I wonder how much it cost "us" to do the study of female inmates. I could have come to the conclusion in half the time and at half the price because I have half a brain!

I used to think that French made everything sound more elegant. I guess I'll have to rethink that with the input on Bronchite. Although, quite frankly, there are some Family members that I desperately wish would introduce themselves to me - in French, of course.

Finally - *blink* *blink* I have blue eyes. *blink* *blink* :)

RoxRocks said...

To think, if I would have gotten my preference of brown eyes, I would have had to be born 10,000 years ago. Shit. Missed the boat again.

I've said it before and I will keep saying it: GWB is retarded. Now, if there was oil in them there children, you'd bet he'd be lookin' out for them, y'all. Fucker!

I have brown shit...the funniest thing ever!!!

Cooper said...

I heart my silicon oven mitts, too!

Should more than one penis be penae?

I'm so with Serge on the sheets thing!

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I find the silicone oven mitts a bit unwieldy, but I'm occasionally glad I have one. Still, I've learned that it doesn't prevent burns if I forget to put it on. Kind of like the old school oven mitts.

The silicone spatulas, now those are revolutionary.

And the silicone lubes, of course.

David said...

I won't do my usual and comment on everything, that would be a bit too much. So here are the top three reactions:

Introduce = Penetrate. That actually makes a fair amount of sense.

I'm with you on the sheets. They usually have to start hogging the blankets before I realize I need to change them.

I always had the same personal theory about evolution myself. When I heard about the new study it totally shattered my preconceptions.

GayProf said...

There are many historical reasons why I become very leery when people start discussing "evolution" and contemporary human populations. People are frequently inclined to use it to resurrect notions of eugenics.

One could always wash the favorite sheets and return them to the bed. Changing sheets doesn't need to be literal, no?

Mark in DE said...

Wow, this week's snippets are likely the best ever! Each one prompted a comment from me, but I will refrain from sharing them all here, as that might seem like I was hijacking your post, which would be rude.

Mark :-)

Craze said...

Love the list! I've learned so much today. I can't wait to smirk whenever I say, "allow me to introduce myself to you." Ha!

Truthspew said...

I too love the silicone tipped oven mitts. They're good up to 600F which is fine by me.

As to the evolution thing, I've often said that we aren't Homo Sapiens but Homo Novus. It looks like that's turning out to be more true than I'd ever thought possible.

And yes, we have more brain power than the twits who wrote the Bible. Comforting thought isn't it?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I sure do love MY silicon oven mittens. Costco: 12 bucks.

Great snippets as always, TW.

Patricia said...

love your method of discernment with the laundry. that’s how chris does his laundry. if it passes the sniff test, he doesn’t seem to care if it’s the third time he’s worn the shirt. *sigh*

ya just can’t beat overhearing a buncha middle aged women talking about a g spot.

Frank said...

The silicone mits are grand. They work very well around hot liquids. I've used them to take corn on the cob out of the boiling water. However, one caveat: around grease and oil they can be very slippery. I put a cloth hot pad in the mit for those things.

Java said...

And I quote: * The other day, I heard Serge mutter, "I need to change the bed sheets." Since my favorite fluffy sheets are currently on the bed, I protested, "But they don't stink!" Serge chastised me, "We don't have to wait until they stink to change them."
I need someone like Serge to take care of me the way he cares for you. If it isn't smelly bed sheets it's some blob stuck to the kitchen floor, or that mass of cobwebs in the corner that I never think to remove, that one dirty jar that keeps being pushed to the back of the counter and never actually washed. I could go on (for a long, long time, unfortunately). Do you realize how blessed you are to have him?

dirk.mancuso said...

I have to agree with Serge on the sheet thing.

I change mine every week (stinky or not!)

Polt said...

I think you need to do more of the word for word translation stuff. That just made me laugh like a little girl! :)

HUGS...

PG said...

It's vaginas, not vaginae (except for altar boys & Fr. Connor) because the natural usage uses an English plural ... it's what we 'say'.

Usus quam penes arbitium est, et ius et norma loquendi.

Usage trumps rules, in the governance of speech.

PG said...

Mind, you ARE cute enough to be an altar boy ...